This is the week from hell, but I keep reminding myself that I am sooooo close to being done. But yet it seems so damn far away! If you question how much my week sucks, then here is my schedule for all you nonbelievers:

MONDAY - Class from 9:00am-2:30pm with 2 large tests plus 2 at home tests
TUESDAY - OB from 7:00am-3:30pm
WEDNESDAY - Work from 3:00pm-11:30pm
THURSDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
FRIDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
SATURDAY - Work from 11:00am-11:30pm

Notice the day where I go from working to 11:30pm to getting up and being at OB at 7:00am. That one is my damn favorite. Anywho, I am almost done. I only have 30 hours out of 200 hours left for my leadership rotation which will be done with one more shift after Thanksgiving break. We're getting to go home for a change and have some fun. Graduation is December 9th with 2 finals after that, and I am done done done! I cannot wait!! It seems so unreal!

So, still no definite on the puppy, yet. I don't even know if Russell's mom still has it or not, but I guess you will know whether or not we come home with a puppy or not after break.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I cannot make it through this damn week. How in the hell do I do it?? It's so not fair. And on that note, I am done talking.

No one wants to go to fright farm with me, and I have to say that I am not too pleased about it. This is not something that you can do on your own. Well, actually you could, but why would that be fun?

We may be getting a doggy. Not sure, yet. It's mostly jack russell terrier with a golden color, but we'll see. She's a big love bug I hear, and Russell's mom and dad are waiting to see if anyone claims her. It would have to be on a trial basis first to see if we have enough time for her, and also to see if Gunther gets along with her okay because he's still number one.

I seem to be pretty miserable these days, but I'm just trying to get through it. On any given week I am working up to 50 or so hours plus class, so I'm very grouchy. I think all this stress is giving me some female problems, so I need to make an appointment and get myself checked out to make sure it is indeed stress and not something else.

Heroes is the best show EVER! Love it!!

I'm already getting excited to shop for Christmas presents. I have bought one, and then some partials. Is it too early to be thinking this much about Christmas? I think I love it even more this year because I should be done by that time!

Andrea has been wanting me to update FOREVER, but I just have no time, and when I do (rarely), I don't really feel like writing. Things have been going well. Had a slight pregnancy scare...well, not really, but brushing my teeth has been making me gag and sometime puke a lot, so I decided to go ahead and take a test. Doesn't hurt, right? So, I peed in a cup, dipped my stick, and put the timer on three minutes. Russell stood in the living room, eyes wide open. "Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet?" Long story somewhat short - it was negative. Obviously. But, this experience made us realize that if we were to be pregnant, it wouldn't be a terrible time for it. I'm almost done with school (until masters), and I already have a job at the MICU/SICU at WVUH, so everything would be okay. This, plus working on Maternity, has brought on lots of pregnancy and baby dreams. I want one bad, but I can't have a baby right now. I'm not ready. We're not ready. I still need some us time first.

School and work is okay. I stay so busy that I barely have time to wipe my own ass, but so far I haven't had a mental breakdown.

I think I'm going to decorate for Halloween today, which can only mean..............HALLOWEEN VILLAGE YAY!

Okay, I think I'm done talking now. Sorry Andrea.

Things have been going pretty good round here. I'm doing my ICU rotation right now. Next week is my last week. You see some neat but sad things around there. I applied for it not too long ago. They are hiring a lot of people right now, and they just hired 3 new nurses that are graduating in December, so it looks like I have a shot. I also applied for a night job on maternity. I really don't want to work nights, but if it's the only way for me to get in there then so be it. It would only be 3 nights a week anyway, then I would have the rest of the week off! I also got into the maternity unit for my leadership rotation (200 hours worth), so that gives me a better shot than what I have before. My preceptor on the floor can pretty much make or break me, so I'm hoping all goes well.

Russell is loving school. He has four classes now, and he is also teaching 2 biology 115 labs for some yummy money. He's doing really well. Him and some of the other people in his class have a lot of study group sessions because the classes he is in are incredibly hard, and the teacher in the statistics class skips things, doesn't explain, and goes way too fast, so they pretty much have to teach themselves.

I applied to work in telemetry at work. All you do is sit there, look at monitors, call nurses, and then do whatever the hell else you want to do...like homework, listen to loud music, or play on the internet. I've been talking with the woman that's the head of it about switching there, and she's going to set me up with an interview. It pays a little less, and I will have to pay a little more for benefits, but we have the money right now, and it's so worth it. Being a CA right now is terrible. We are overworked and not appreciated at all. Switching to a nonstressful job right now would be right up my alley seeing as though I also have to do around 24 hours a week of clinicals plus work. One week that I have scheduled, I am doing 28 hours on maternity and 24 hours for work. That is just not right, lol.

My house needs cleaned. :(

Well, I thought I should update now that Russell is officially back into school. He's getting his masters in environmental microbiology, and he's taking Agricultural Biochemistry 610 and Statistics 512! Not to mention he has to start his research. His research has something to do with finding a new and more efficient way to store spores. As of right now, they use liquid nitrogen to freeze and store them. Since 911, they have apparently been more strict with what you store liquid nitrogen in, so these containers are VERY expensive. So, it's Russell's job to find a new way to do this. Awesomeness. Everyone keep him in your thoughts because it's gonna be rough. :)

i miss harry potter, and i think i'm going to have to read the last one again...i'm reliving the old ones through rusty!

rusty is supposed to get his acceptance letter in the mail soon soon so he can go become an official student.

i love 300. i have watched it twice now, and i could probably watch it every day...blockbuster can kiss my ass for not having any when i went there.

the rain is nice to hear, but it better go away for when we go camping.

the red goldfish has a hole in his head now. i brought her and professor snape back from some nasty ich, but now she has the hole in her head. i have moved her into rusty's tank and plan on starting antibacterial treatments tonight. too bad my nursing skills cannot help me here.

i love being off work and school. very good feeling.

the water has been brown and smelly. i think it is clear now so i can wash my smelly clothes and dishes...horray.

So I totally just spent $400 at Wal-Mart yesterday. We have to use our discount while we still can, lol. I bought shit tons of camping stuff. We're going to have so much and just be able to RELAX! We also bought some saw stuff to fix the floor with.

Today starts my 5 days of total hell - day 1. Argh! Why can't it be day 5!!? I just want this shit to be over so we can go to Ohio and not think about work and hardly think about school (except for revisions to my paper and making my poster for my presentation).

I have car news, but no time to talk about that.
I also got some new fishies and will post some pics later. But they are doing great. We have a black moore called professor snape, and we have another one that is orange and white...we've been calling her red, but no technical name, yet.

Harry Potter was great, but even though the epilogue is what I would hope for, it was still kinda cheesy. Oh well.

Getting ready and off to work!

I forgot to mention that Russell got an estimate on his car. $3700 dollars ($500 of which we have to pay for our deductible). We were going to take it to this body shop up here, but the guy was really flaky and wanting the phone # to our bank and everything, so that's a big fat NO! We're going to try to take it to Pletcher's instead before we go on our trip...someone we can actually trust.

My car gets dropped off on Monday to get fixed. Hopefully all will work out well with that.

I made pepperoni rolls yesterday...mmm they were good. It's been a long time since I've made them, but they were still as good as ever! Yum.

Oh, and if the claims guy had any doubt that we hit a deer even though there was deer hair everywhere, we found deer shit stuck to Russell's grill when we pulled up the hood...LOL!

The claims guy also cut his finger on Russell's car. :( Does our insurance cover that?? lol

YAY MY TANK IS FINALLY CYCLED!! It has taken like 2 months, but well worth it! The only problem is that we're going to be gone for a while coming up, so I don't know if I want to get fish, yet. Especially to leave them alone like that with no water changes or food so soon after getting them. We'll see I guess.

I am very annoyed these days.

Russell and I have been shit on a lot lately. We've both been doing a decent job keeping each other sane. I have a feeling that something really good is coming our way. Maybe we can laugh about it later.

School is almost done for the summer. I'm really looking forward to some time off. Too bad I have to work three 11am-11:30pm shifts in a row to get that time off.

I just bought a $40 NCLEX study book. I'm really finding out how much I do not know.

Gunther licked my eyebrow today.

I really want to have a nice bubble bath, but I am out of bubble bath.

I mowed the lawn yesterday and felt really good about it. It looks nice.

I am very displeased with Harry Potter. The movie was so off from the book that I could not even enjoy it. Don't the author's have to approve these scripts?! I could go on and on and on about what was wrong with that damn movie. Maybe another day.

Russell's poor subaru...

This is what happens on a foggy Friday the 13th. Notice the deer hair?

Watching Life as a House was a great experience. A movie hasn't made me cry that much since The Notebook. I don't know how to feel about it, though. Would it be better to have someone die hating them and never actually knowing them, or to get to know and love them, and then they are gone forever? That's a tough one.

It really brings up not so good issues with me. But, I still love the movie. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, you just have to let yourself think.

Finally took the subi to see how much it would cost to fix the oil leak...

$1600

Umm, yeah. That's a hunk of change right there. So we went and spent $35 at applebees to make ourselves feel better about it. lol

Everyone needs to go watch The Life of David Gale if you haven't already! Awesome movie.

The wedding was good. They were so cute. My bridesmaid dress was a little big on me, so it made me look bigger, but all is well. We all got our hair fixed really cute. I missed being able to dance with my Rusty, though.

School is coming close to the end for the summer. Very excited about that. It's scary to think that I'm going to be a nurse soon.

Well, I'm off to watch some tv, then going to Wal-Mart to shop and have dinner with Rusty. Making another surprise pit stop before that as well.

Maybe I'll post more later.

finally bought a new pair of glasses...should get them in a week

had to buy pasties for the wedding *shiver*

something borrowed is super good...almost done reading it

already bought something blue for when the other one is done

harry potter comes out soon and i can't wait

russell cutely played with my hair as we went to sleep last night
i love it when he does that

i have dead silence on video...i'm almost too scared to watch it

transformers was good and russell and i liked it
i was good and didn't eat movie popcorn
although i ate at cici's but i was still good and ate reasonably within my points system
i've lost more weight, but i'm not going to say how much because it's not weigh in day

i have to work 11a-11p tomorrow, and i am not happy about it

I went to student health to try to figure out my sleeping-don't-want-to-do-anything problem. They took some blood. My CBC was good, and I wasn't going to find out the TSH until today. Well, it's supposedly in the normal range, so that rules out the thyroid. She seems to think that it's because I'm burning out and doing waaay too much. She wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to have to take a drug to make me feel good, so I'm going to try other things:

• Having bedtimes again.
• Taking time for myself without work or school or homework or housework.
• Setting an alarm if I take a nap.
• Continuing my weight watchers with drinking lots of water.
• My daily vitamin.
• Walking and/or swimming.
• Spending time outside with lots of deep breaths of fresh air.
• Cooper's rock with Russell when we have days off together.
• Writing more on here to try to hash out my issues. A "journal" if you will.

I may add to this list, but this is my reminder I guess. I haven't figured out the bedtime yet, but maybe I should just gradually decrease it instead of trying to cut staying up late cold turkey.




I got my ear pierced....the tragus which is the little flappy cartilage thing that is right next to your cheek. My camera is dead right now or I would take a picture. It hurt like a bitch, but I like it. It's not nearly as sore as it was before. I was having a really bad day when I got it done, and I thought that a piercing pain would make me feel better (if that makes sense to anyone other than me), but it didn't. I do feel better now, though. Not great, but it's better than shitty.

SLEEP

I've known for a while that I sleep a lot, but lately it seems to be more of a problem. I'm ALWAYS napping, and that's all I think about is "gee, when I get home I am going straight to bed" no matter what time of day it is. even as soon as I get up, I look forward to my nap. I just woke up from a 4 hour nap. I decided I'm going to start keeping a sleep log, and if it starts seeming crazy then I am going to go see a doctor about it.

Everyone is always telling me it's because I work so damn much, but is it really? After I took that big nap, I logged my first days sleep, and it's only 10.5 hours for the whole day. That's not so crazy. I logged what I slept last night, and it was 1:30am-8:00am...6.5 hours for the night. And that's more sleep than I usually get at night because I typically have to get up earlier than that. I am not a morning person at all, and I'm not the kind of person to run on low hours of sleep either. I'm hoping that this is the only problem I have (although I hardly exercise and I am currently working on my diet...stress I cannot change). If I can get out of this nap funk, then maybe I can start getting the hang of going to bed at a decent hour. This is a hard task because Russell normally stays up until 3:00am anymore because that is the funk he is in. I don't like his funk because I like going to bed with him, but he can't really go to bed any earlier than that because he'll just lay there. He doesn't have to get up early like me anymore. I need to quit trying to stay up a little later with him and give myself a bedtime or something. Gosh, I hate that. I like staying up later. :(

But, I'm going to have to try something. *shrug*

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Really.

STIR CRAZY!

I have really been getting stir crazy lately. It has been 2 years since I have had a vacation. I think I'm damn due. I haven't been working my ass off for nothing. I think I am very deserving of a vacation. And it's not just that. I want to get out and do things more. I want to go out on a boat, go fishing, swimming, camping, to our cabin, to the beach, to amusement parks, biking, walking, etc. You name it, and I want to do it...minus going to the bar. I want to have a picnic outside. I want to breathe fresh air and see pretty nature things. I'm so tired of Morgantown. I want Russell and I to do all these things together, but it's so hard with our schedules the way they are. I want to go fishing and swimming every damn day. I want to grill hotdogs on our cool rock on the lake like we had done so many years ago. I'm tired of wasting my life away inside all the time.

This swimming every day thing could be a bit tricky since I refuse to wear a bathing suit in public. I'm supposed to get my weight watchers stuff in the mail next week sometime, and I am excited to get started and lose weight. I have done it before, and I can do it again plus more. I already have my game plan, and I refuse to let it not work. I may love food, but I want to love my body more. Everyone send me good thoughts every once in a while to keep me going strong because once I get started, I don't want anything to sidetrack me. I have a shitload of clothes that I want to wear that I will not or cannot where right now because of my size, and I cannot wait until I can wear them again.

In other news, the aquarium is almost ready for fish. I'm soo excited to get my babies. Soon soon.

OH, and the three year anniversary is this Monday. We'll mostly be celebrating Sunday, I think, because I have class from 9-5 on Monday. We haven't decided what we're going to do yet, but I definitely want to do something.

3 years married.
8 years together.
Sooo happy with my baby. :)

You might be a nurse if...

1. You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you, and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
2. It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other.
3. You've had a patient with a nose ring, brow ring, and 12 earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
4. You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
5. You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
6. You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
7. You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
8. You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
9. You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
   

Lots of stuff

I realize I haven't posted in forever. Oh well.

Some things that are going on:
School starts back on May 21. They are killing me. They make plans at the last second and ruin my already made work schedule, and my life. Damn them. You probably won't even know I exist over the summer because I am going to be that busy.

Do you remember sometime in March when I got my tetanus shot, and it went all crazy so I had to go to the emergency department to have it checked? Well, they actually tried to bill me $90 for it. $90 for some dude to look at my arm and poke it a few times in less than a minute and tell me to take some damn tylenol...wow. So I had to go through a lot, but now employee health (the place that gave me the shot) said that they are going to take care of the bill....GREAT!

The school is giving me almost $5000 loan that I never accepted for summer school. I only need like $1700 of that. I thought about just sending the rest of the money back so I don't have to pay for it later, BUT now I'm thinking about other uses for it. We need to get our holes in the kitchen and our almost hole in the bathroom fixed. I am also going to need a vacation at the end of this summer. I am trying to talk Russell into taking me to our cabin in the Smokey's for some love in the hot tub and Dixie Stampede among other things. We'll see.

Russell's sister is having to have surgery soon. They found a tumor on her ovary. :(

In other news, I told Russell I either want a baby or a dog...preferably a bulldog. He seems tot try to be ignoring me on this topic. We'll see how that goes also.

Fish tanks are still not even close to being ready. I am very angry about this and about ready to just throw in some fish anyway! Damn it. that big beautiful tank is going to waste.

I want to go out to eat today. I wonder if I can talk Russell into it. We may go see Shrek 3 tomorrow early. Maybe. We're also having a cookout/in tomorrow night. Russell is trying to make some gourmet burgers, but alas a couple of our guests do not like onions, so there goes one of his favorite ingredients. I also bought beer. We never have beer in this house mostly because we don't like it. I may try one.

And now I'm thinking even more of getting fish now. The only downside to that is I will have to change out large quantities of water every day instead of once a week. I do not like that. 29 gallons is a lot of water to be bucketing every day.

We watched Eragon last night. Good movie. Can't wait until the next one even though I really didn't want to watch the first one, lol.

Six Feet Under is the shit. We watch is together almost every night. :) We get it from Blockbuster total access which I highly recommend. We were getting netflix, but we can get twice the amount of movies for the same price. Good stuff.

Birthday is coming up. I am off work the whole weekend, but Russell has to work. The bitch wouldn't let him have it off. Well, too bad because I am making him not go! Bwahaha. lol Mom also wants to come up, but I have no idea what we're going to do, yet. Maybe go to Kennywood? Hmm. That is a thought. Or maybe good food somewhere. I did buy a new snazzy dress to wear somewhere, so maybe.

Russell is still sleeping. I need to clean. I cannot clean while he is sleeping. Well, maybe I can start on this far bathroom. Yes, that sounds like a plan. Buh-bye.

Watch it.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/527593/the_lanlord/

Aquariums

Finally took some pictures of the new aquariums (minus fishies). These are all pictures without the flash, so that's why they look somewhat blurry. I had better pics, but somehow I lost them, and I am very angry now. The first one is my 29 gallon tank that is going to have goldfish in it, and the second one is Russell's 5 gallon tank that is going to have tetras in it. Yay.

YAY FOR FISH!

I am so excited right now! Russell bought me my 29 gallon fish tank. Huge, right? Well, I'm getting awesome goldfish to go in there, and I have been reading so much to become a goldfish pro and a good mommy. Those things, if taken care of properly, can grow to be HUGEMONGOUS!

So, not only am I excited about that, but Russell decided that he wanted to take the 5 gallon tank and put some pretty tetras in it! So, we're going to have 2 awesome fish tanks. I think we might put the smaller one in the bedroom. We have to have a heater for it, though, because tetras are tropical freshwater fish. They look so neat though.

The only sucky thing is that I have to cycle these tanks before we can even get the fish. I told you I was becoming a pro, lol. It will take about a month, but I need to run the tanks with ammonia in it to cycle it to where there is no ammonia, no nitrites, and just a little bit of nitrates. Look it up if you want to know more about what I'm talking about. As soon as I get stuff going, I will take some pictures.

I am also EXTREMELY EXCITED about something else. We both are. But I'm not going to tell you what it is, yet. You will just have to wait a while until things are fixed the way they are supposed to be. I don't want to jinx anything. No, not even you, Andrea. ;) You'll have to wait like everyone else. lol

Night of the living wasp

I hate wasps! I have this freakish phobia of them. I can't help it. The fear just takes over. I was in the living room sitting on the couch just now when all of the sudden a big wasp flies in my freaking face! I start screaming like someone is murdering me, and Russell comes running. He was a but pissed that I was screaming like that over a bee. It's not all bees I'm scared of...just of ones with stingers that can get you over and over again. I can kill those fat ones that eat your wood with the best of them. In fact, I hold the record in this household for most killed with a flyswatter. I will reign again this year! But I see a wasp, and I just lose it. I just read that the queen wasps are the only ones out right now (early spring) to make their nests and lay eggs, so I'm hoping that wasp will be the only one I see for a while. Now I'm scared as shit to go back in the living room, and Rusty won't go check the windows. :(

Why can't I be normal? Why can't there be no wasps? Why can't that stupid stove vent be sealed?!

My new used car and hot pink loveliness.

Went to NC this weekend. Looked at a bunch of junk and a bunch of ass (donkeys). We had a good time although I could have used more sleep. We both seemed to not get much of that away from our own bed. Gunther stayed with Grandma and had a good time. She keeps her windows open when it's warm, so of course he just loves that, and the fact that she cuddles him a lot.

I have a new used car. It's a 1999 red Subaru Sport. It has AC and a CD player....yay! It's also a standard which I never noticed that they made Subarus to where you had to shift them. It doesn't bother me, though. I prefer the stick, lol. Time to see if I can find someone to buy the ol' 1987 shit brown Pontiac. If you know anyone that might be interested, let me know. It will go for cheap. Haven't landed on a price, yet.

My new hot pink computer came. It was actually delivered yesterday while we were gone and has been sitting on the porch ever since. Good to know that FedEx leaves packages on a porch of a trailer in a trailer park...nice and safe, yup. We were surprised that it was still there. Not to mention it had IBuyPower.com printed really big on the side of the box. If anyone looked that up they would know it was a damn computer right there for the taking. Anyways, it is super cute and super fast, and I love it. I am typing on my new keyboard right now, actually.

Got the taxes done. We actually get $200 back instead of having to pay. We would have had to pay $400-$500 if we hadn't gotten deductions. Scary stuff.

I don't want to go back to school next week...or work. I am boycotting both.

Russell's mom has to have a procedure done this week, so keep her in your thoughts.

Dairy Queen has new waffle bowls. I highly recommend them.

I want a miniature pony or donkey one of these days. I also want a pot belly pig. I wonder if Gunther would try to eat it.

It's time to mow the lawn again. I must get a fuel primer.

I am going to have a garden this year. Russell's mom gave me the idea to open bags of potting soil, put it in the sun, and plant what I want in those. I'm really excited about this. Having fresh vegetables is great. That also reminds me that we need to go buy new flowers to line our walkway since the ones we planted last year won't be coming back. Our lillies should be starting to come up soon as well. Yay for spring!

Sunburn mostly gone. Bit of peeling in between the boobies now. Russell likes the tan boobies...lol.

Going to see Premonition today with my Rustybunches. I hope it's good.

Can't stand thinking about going back to work on Thursday. I will not let the assholes there get to me anymore than they already have.

My new hot pink computer has been ordered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cell phone battery has gone to crap. Apparently the warranty for that is only 6 months. Assholes.

Cannot wait until this semester is over.

I don't think I will be doing nice things for people anymore.
It's nice to be left alone all day feeling like a piece of shit.
This damn cat won't stop meowing.
I locked him in the bathroom because he wouldn't let us sleep, so now I have to listen to him still because I am up and right beside the bathroom I locked him in.
I can't wait until this semester is over.
I can't believe I have to do a whole freaking packet of drug calculations.
Spring break cannot come soon enough.
I have to work 3 12 hour shifts in a row before I can even have my break.
I don't want to work on 10 west anymore, but I don't want to start over either.
I need to clean the bathrooms because I haven't done so in a month or more.
I hate snow. Why do I get snow on my weekend off?

Catheter Queen

Andrea is bitching that people never post, so here I am. And I AM busy thank you very much, lol.

Today was my second day on the peds floor. I had a two month old baby. He was so damn cute! He got mad at me when I had to pull the catheter out of his weiner, but it was all good. My instructor has now lovingly titled me the catheter queen. I've had to put a catheter in and take on out all in one weeks time. I have never done either, and she said it's been a long time since they've gotten to do something like that on peds, so she swears that God is preparing me for some kind of catheter problem, lol.

I started tanning the other day. First day went well. Second day....burn city. And what's funny is that it didn't show up until way later, so I thought I was ok. What's even funnier is that I'm only burnt in places you can't see. My arms and face are fine. Everywhere else hurts like a mofo. Craptastic. It's itchy, too, but hurts when I scratch it...I cannot possibly win in this situation.

Yesterday was so nice that we took Gunther out to play in the grass. He is too funny. It's cute. I will take pictures sometime of him in his harness playing in the grass.

I am off work this weekend, and I am muy excited. I love my weekends off. It makes the ones that I have to work my ass off worth it.

Ugh.

I feel like crap. I'm tired all the time, and I don't want to be. I think it might be because I'm out of shape...big time. As soon as these stupid girl scout cookies are gone, it's go time. I mean it. I'm tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm tired of not wearing 3/4 of my clothes because my arms are uncovered, or I feel like they are too revealing or tight. Do you know how long it has been since I have worn a sleeveless shirt in public? Once almost two years ago when I lost a lot of weight, and that was still uncomfortable because I was used to not wearing them. I am almost 23 years old. I should not be having this problem, and I do not want to look back when I'm older and wish I would have been thinner to enjoy life more. And I know it's not true, but I worry that my own husband thinks I'm disgusting because of it. I hate that feeling. I want to look good for him and me.

Ugh.

I'm really stressed right now about taxes and cars and school schedules and work and house problems and computer problems and argh! This is my day off. I should be relaxing and enjoying it.

What a rip off

We took Russell's car to get an inspection sticker on it, so I decided to take mine and get an estimate on getting a new muffler since mine has fallen off sometime somewhere. Russell had to get new break pads just to pass, and sometime he'll need new roaters (or however you spell that). They somehow managed to take 90 minutes to put freaking break pads on so we got charged $90 JUST for labor. They really know how to rip you off. OH, and it's going to cost me $200 just for a new muffler. What a bunch of crap. I hate Morgantown. Who knows when I'll get my new computer now.

So, Russell and I went for a nice walk around the trailer park yesterday. It was so nice, and it didn't feel like exercise at all because we just talked the whole time. It felt good to go outside and do something. It was a nice day other than the wind.

My sea monkeys are HUGE now! I've only had them for two weeks, and they are humongous! Gunther wants to eat them really bad. I have not seen the sea monkeys doing nasty things, yet. I'm hoping to never catch them doing the dirty.

I cut Russell's hair today. It looks really good.

Wal-Mart rents carpet cleaners now for $30/day. We're going to get one this spring for our big spring clean. We're going to move everything out of our computer room and clean it real good because it gets major nasty, and we're going to move furniture and clean all the carpets again. I'll wipe down the walls and move everything around and clean real good. I'm excited to get this done because it needs it bad. Maybe it wouldn't if I did regular cleanings more often.

I slept around 16 hours total yesterday and last night. Not straight, but still. That is way too much, and I am sleeping my life away. Something has to be wrong with me. All I ever want to do is sleep. I think it was more of a boredom thing last night, but it needs to stop. Sleep is taking over my life.

I've also started a new series obsession....Six Feet Under. Kind of a weird show for me to get into since death and dead people freak me out. But I like it. Which reminds me...I saw Dawson's Creek on a tv at work the other day, and it made me very sad. Damn you Dawson Leery and your show!

I poke you with big needle.

I am so bored. I have to sit around for hours waiting for freaking class to start. So, I'll just tell you about my day.

I got to go to 2West again today. I put in 4 IVs. 2 went in perfectly, and the other two I got in with good blood return, but when I tried to advance the catheter, I hit a valve and blew the whole vein. It's okay, though, because it happens a lot, not something you can really avoid unless you can see the valve, and the nurse did the same thing twice after me, lol. Putting in IVs is addictive. :)
OH RUSSELL. lol

I would have went home a long time ago if I didn't need the points from class.

I got an A in medsurg clinicals. Yay. Now to move on to pediatrics.

We tried to order my new hot pink computer the other day, but now all of the sudden, shipping is no longer free, and we would have to pay an extra $65 for ground, so we're going to wait and see if we can get free shipping again. I hope they do it soon.

I can't wait fro spring. Russell and I are going to start walking together when it gets nice outside. We'll probably ride bikes, too. Andrea needs to hurry up and get her butt moved into the trailer because we're going to have tons of fun. She's going to bring up her bike to ride with us, too. Oh, and I'm going to have to set a time for spring cleaning. It needs it bad even though we just moved in April. Trailers get dirty easy. I'll probably try to do some over spring break. We'll probably go in to Braxton for some of it, too. We both actually are supposed to get off work. Yay!

Headlines: Chunky girl bites patient's finger to get to sandwich.

It's funny how I can get called chunky and fat 8 times and get kissed on the cheek twice BY THE SAME PATIENT all in one work day. I probably shouldn't let myself feel so bad since the same old man said to me "I love looking into your BLUE eyes". What's even nicer is the fact that after I put his glasses on him he says "I can see now. You look even fatter." This is also the same man that when I bathed him and asked him if he could wash his own privates or did he need me to, he said "I'm not shy. You can grab right on to that thing and get 'er done!" He was a big pervert and hit on everyone that walked into the room....in front of his wife. I think I even remember him telling me that if he had a sandwich in his hand then I would probably bite his finger off...

I may be chunky, but that doesn't mean that I want someone to tell me that repeatedly to my face. Russell said "what's that guys problem?" and I said, "I guess he's just being honest." He wasn't too happy about my answer.

Gee, I'm really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

I guess it's time to go eat dinner now like the fat girl I am.

Nothing's going to change destiny.

Not even my raspberry smirnoff is helping right now. I'm just so damn frustrated. Work is really pissing me off. The job is not bad...it's the coworkers. I am so tired of people acting so vicious. They're trully assholes. I'm not saying everyone is, but there are a good bit there that I could have burned at the stake.

School sucks for the most part. I did really enjoy the lecture today in pathophysiology. We talked about the cardivascular system with the patho part and patient care included. It was 3 hours long, and I actually listened the whole time. It was very interesting. Did you know that the reason why men have a better survival rate than women when it comes to heart attacks is because their heart produces extra "channels" to reroute blood flow if there is damage to a particular part. Women do not normally get these until after menopause because of the production of estrogen and birth control pills (which gives you more estrogen - mine even has extra estrogen in it *cries*). This seems very interesting to me.

Another reason why I am so frustrated is because I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO! I think I do and either something stands in my way, or I learn more about it and it no longer appeals as much. Wound care nursing sounds great, and I loooove gross stuff like that (stop making those faces), BUT I would have to pay for out of school classes and take a $400 certification exam every 5 years to make not much more than a regular RN. Yes, I am also in it for the money. I guess my plan is still to get my masters....we'll see if I can find something. It's enough to make you want to rip your hair out.

OH, and any bastard in this world would be damn lucky to have Ms. Andrea Ware! Any who think differently are just duckheads.

Maggot therapy

Lately I've been thinking a lot about specializing in wound care nursing. I have to do a presentation about something of my choosing for my clinicals, so I chose maggot debridement therapy. I'm going to paste my handout for your knowledge and enjoyment.

Maggot Debridement Therapy (MDT)

MDT is the medical use of live, sterile maggots for cleaning non-healing wounds. The use of maggots for this purpose has been noted for centuries even as far back as the Renaissance. Many military physicians used maggots during warfare. They found that soldiers who had their wounds colonized with maggots had a lower mortality rate than those who did not.

Medicinal maggots are approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). They are considered the only living organism allowed for production and marketing. The FDA say they are to be used only "for debriding non-healing necrotic skin and soft tissue wounds, including pressure ulcers, venous stasis ulcers, neuropathic foot ulcers and non-healing traumatic or post surgical wounds.”

Medicinal maggots have three mechanisms of action: debride wounds by dissolving only necrotic, infected tissue; disinfect the wound by killing bacteria; stimulate wound healing. This leads to reduced wound odor, earlier healing, and less pain.

Debriding is a difficult task for physicians because they are not very precise in removing only the necrotic tissue and not healthy tissue. This can create a larger wound, more bleeding than is necessary, and the infection can spread leading to sepsis or amputation of the limb. Using a physician or other means of debriding the tissue creates a longer healing time, and it can be very expensive.

Maggots digest nutrients through extracorporeal digestion where they secrete a broad spectrum of proteolytic enzymes that liquefy necrotic tissue. The maggots then absorb the dead tissue. They start at a size of 1-2mm, and they normally grow to about 8-10mm during the digesting process.

Maggots also disinfect wounds through their antimicrobial secretions. These secretions include allantoin (found in many shaving gels that have a soothing effect on the skin.), urea (used for protein metabolism), phenylacetic acid (used in the production of Penicillin), phenylacetaldehyde(used in perfumes), calcium carbonate (used in teeth cleaning products), and proteolytic enzymes (break down protein into simpler compounds). The bacteria that are not killed by these secretions are ingested and lysed within the maggots. This includes antibiotic resistant forms of bacteria such as Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA).

Maggots promote wound healing in a few different ways. The most obvious is micromassage of the wound by the maggots. This stimulates growth of granulation tissue. The maggot secretions appear to amplify growth healing of epidermal growth factor which is a polypeptide hormone that stimulates cell proliferation especially of epithelial cells by binding to receptor proteins on the cell surface. In addition, they stimulate growth of fibroblasts (gives rise to connective tissue), slow-growing chondrocytes (mature cartilage cells), and cartilage-specific type II collagen (strong, insoluble fibers serving as connective tissue between cells).

Preparation of Maggots

Putrid meat is hung outdoors to attract the wild flies. After eggs are laid in the meat, the meat is transferred to ventilated glass jars until they hatch (8-24 hours). The larvae are fed brewer’s yeast and ground meat for seven days after which they are placed in a jar with clean, warm sand to pupate. The correct species are sorted from the adults.

The flies are placed in a cage with honey, yeast, and water. Temperatures stay in the human comfort range. Gravid female flies begin laying eggs on cubes of meat about a week later. Seven hours afterward, the eggs are washed off the meat into containers. The eggs are disinfected with 10% bleach, and then they are transferred to sterile cultures with a medium of agar, dry meat, and dry yeast. This culture is placed in an incubator at 27 degrees Celsius for 24 hours. Representative maggots from each dish are tested for aerobic and anaerobic microbes. The sterile maggots are shipped in bottles packed in ice.

Application of Wound Dressings

The wound is irrigated with sterile saline, and then a dressing is placed on the border of the wound to protect the skin from the maggots’ enzymes. The maggots are placed on the wound and held in place with nylon mesh. The area is lightly covered in gauze padding and bandaged.

The dressing should be changed daily to check the maggots and the wound. The maggots, however, should be removed every 2-3 days with new maggots being placed depending on the state of the wound (all necrotic tissue should be removed). The maggots need oxygen to survive, so the dressing cannot be anaerobic.

Pictures of maggot therapy!

Warning: these pictures are not for people who are grossed out easily.

It's over :(

Dawson's Creek is now officially over, and like Sex and the City, I am officially depressed. Why can a show make me feel this way? I guess that's why they continue to make them. I wish the ending had a little more then what it did, but hey, that's life. Cheer me up because I will probably be like this for at least a week. Yes, I am a freak.

I am too depressed to write any more right now. I will update later.

"The Potato Incident"

I brought in a bag of potatoes one day from grocery shopping, and for some reason I layed them on the couch. Well, as you can guess with me, they sat there for at least a week. I went to put my coat on that was laying on the couch yesterday, and it smelled like rotten cat food, so of course I blamed it on Gunther, lol. It wasn't brought to my attention that it wasn't him until this morning when we got up to go to Russell's ultrasound appointment that I lifted that bag of potatoes to find a big rotten, gooey mess. It had been the potatoes all along. And the rottenness has taken itself into my couch cushions, and now I don't know what to do. :(

This really sucks.

By the way, just an extra note, now that I have discovered the joys of double roll toilet paper, I will never go back to the single roll. Why would you when you can change the roll less?

Make the sickness go away :(

I have been so sick all week...well, over a week now. I missed all my classes except for one clinical because I can't miss more than one without having to make it up, and I had to call off work Thursday. I just can't shake it. It's not nearly as bad now, but more of an annoyance to me and everyone else with all the nose blowing, sneezing, and hacking.

Mom came over for an hour on Thursday mostly just to pick up my little dorm refrigerator for Josh because his new apartment doesn't have a kitchen. It's just sitting in my shed, so someone might as well get some use out of it.

The only thing I've really been doing all week is sleeping and playing the new world of warcraft expansion. I guess that's the only thing good about being sick and having to stay home. Russell's been taking real good care of me. He even had to put me to bed one night and drug me up, lol. He wasn't ready to go to bed, yet, but he laid there with me for a while and talked to me until I was almost asleep which was nice.

He also said some really cute stuff tonight which I just have to share because it was definitely way to cute not to. We saw a dad playing with his little baby girl, so we got to talking about us having babies, and I asked him if he thought our first little girl would be a sporty or a prissy, and he said "definitely prissy". When I asked him why, he said because he was going to spoil the crap out of her and put her in little frilly dresses and such. He also said that she was going to be the kind to complain to granny and pawpaw about the cow poop and how they stink. It makes me just fall even more in love with him. :)
It seems kinda funny that we don't even have a time plan for when we have kids, but we already have a definite first girl name picked out and a few possible boy names. I also had a dream last night that I was so pregnant that I was ready to pop and going into labor, and the baby was actually doing flips around in my belly, and you could see it. It was really weird, lol. There is this girl that I work with that is the same age as me, she just got married a few months ago, and she graduates from nursing school in May....she just found out she's pregnant...which of course was not their plan at the moment. She was shocked at first, but now she is so excited. It's weird how much we are alike in certain manners with all the things I listed above, and I would love to have a baby, but I know now it way far from the right time. We definitely don't have the money or time for a baby, and I know for a fact that I am not responsible enough yet to have a baby. I am still way too selfish to sacrifice so much. I want time with Russell. I don't want another worry on top of everything else I have right now. And I want to finish school and be someone. I won't be completely finished until I'm at least 26 years old, so maybe then. If I had to I could do it, but I do not choose it.

Well, I've rambled on long enough since I haven't posted in a long time, but now I gotta go do some chores. The laundry and dishes are both piled up, and I have to take a 50 question pharmacology quiz online which should at least take me an hour or more since I have to look up all the questions, so until later, TATA!

Little update

So, I supposed you need an update. Classes are good, but very busy. My pharmacology class is a joke. We don't even get "taught" anything. We have a week to start an at home online quiz that is open book, and we have 6 hours to complete 50 questions. The only thing we do in class is go over the quiz, and that's it. Pretty much a selfer. Kinda weird for something as important as learning drugs. I had my first clinical today. It went very well! It's so amazing how much working at the hospital has made. I am so much more comfortable and confident in my ability. I'm used to this medsurg stuff, so I think the whole semester will go well. We had to take a med test after that and get above a 90% to be able to administer drugs, and I passed, so yay me. It was a calculation test for IV drip rates and stuff.
This poor woman I had today had to have all of her teeth extracted (which happened to only be a mere 15)...I know you're sitting there counting your teeth right now. Don't try to act like you're not.
Well, I am beat. I had to work 7:00am-7:00pm yesterday, then I had to go to the 8th floor to preplan for clinicals, then I had to come home and look up a bunch of meds and do a bunch of paperwork to prepare for today. It was a very bad day....not to mention I got stuck by myself with 15 patients. I think I'm going to have to have a talk to my manager about that.
Anywho...I'm going back to bed.

I measured my boobies according to a website online, and it says my cup size should be a D??
Umm, no. My boobs are not D material.

My bras are not tight in the cup size area...but maybe................no way in hell do I wear a D.
Anyone else think it's shit that I should wear a D?

Discuss. lol

Some nice links to visit

Pregnant man:
http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/189

Two headed girl:
http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/209


BY THE WAY, I HATE MORGANTOWN TRAFFIC VERY MUCH! ALL YOU STUPID STUDENTS WHO DON'T LIVE HERE....GO HOME!

Back to school

Great Grandma's funeral was this weekend, but I made the decision not to go. I would have liked going and seeing all the family, but it's the weekend before school starts, and the last thing I need right now is more stress. Mom said they picked out a really beatiful casket for her that was light cream color with gold trim, carved roses (which was her favorite flower), and the inside was lined with soft pink material. She said there were over 120 people there which makes me feel good that so many people loved her. Something funny that mom told me was that a little while ago before she started getting real bad, she started rhyming all the time. I think I may have made a post about this a while back. I'll have to go look for it so I can tell you one of the rhymes again. I think it was about poop, but I can't remember.

School starts tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm so tired of all this stress, and I feel like my head is going to explode. At least my StuffOnMyCat calendar is now on the wall to cheer me up.

Here is my Spring 2007 Schedule:

MONDAY:
1:00pm-3:50pm NSG 334 - Concepts: Adult Health
TUESDAY:
2:00pm-3:50pm NSG 322 - Concepts: Pediatric Health
WEDNESDAY:
7:00am-1:50pm NSG 335-002 - Interventions: Medical Surgical
2:00pm-4:50pm NSG 376 - Clinical Nursing Pharmacology
THURSDAY:
off
FRIDAY:
7:00am-1:50pm NSG 335-002 - Interventions: Medical Surgical

The interventions are clinicals where I do my thang at the hospital all day. Medical Surgical is the hardest clinical of all of them. Everything is in super detail and for every patient you have, you have to preplan and go through every body system with every problem they have...not to mention looking up every drug they are on and knowing them. Major suckage when you have to do that and work. I will be in the hospital 4-5 days out of the week every week.

Crooked eyebrows

Lately I've felt like getting things in order around here. I've gone through all the boxes in the office closet and in the guest bedroom, but now I'm still trying to figure out what I want to keep, where to put the things I want to keep (since most of it is junk, and I'm a pack rat), and getting rid of the things I don't want. It's hard to part with things that you've had for so long even though you haven't even set eyes on it in years. I'm washing the guest sheets right now, lol. It's sad that makes me happy.

I got my hair cut again. It's cute I think. I probably got another 1 1/2 - 2 inches off. It's right at the base of my neck. It looked okay in the hair salon, but then when I got home I noticed the left side seems longer than the right. I'm obsessive compulsive about this, and even if Russell thinks I'm a bit crazy, I still want to go back and make them fix it, lol. AND, she also made my eyebrows crooked. Bitch.

Viral or bacterial something or another

I took Russell to the doctor this morning.....a lot of question asking.....a lot of palpating. He even asked if we were sexually active, lol. They say they think it was a lingering viral or bacterial something or another, but they don't think it's a gallbladder problem. So, in other words, they just don't know what it is, but they don't think it's serious. BUT, since Russell's family has a history of gallbladder problems, and we just paid $100 deductible plus a $15 copay, he's scheduled to go in next Friday for an ultrasound just to make sure there are no problems or possible problems.
I hate it when doctors don't know what's going on so they chalk it up to viral or bacterial something. Since he's been getting better, they're not going to give him any antibiotics or anything. What's really funny is it was a med student asking all the questions and such, and as soon as Russell told him I was a nursing student, he went and washed his hands, lol.

After the appointment, I got to take Russell up to where I work and show him around.
I have to go back today for a "mandatory" CA meeting. Probably just a bitch fest for the few people who aren't doing their job like they are supposed to.

Great Grandma passed away this morning.

What's really weird is that Gunther never sleeps with me anymore (he sleeps with Russell), and today he slept with me all morning.

Doctor Update

I talked Russell into going to the doctor. His appointment is Wednesday January 3. Everyone hope for the best please.

Christmas update

Here is my 2006 Christmas present list...

From Rusty:

• PostSecret Book
• StuffOnMyCat wall calendar
• StuffOnMyCat daily box calendar
• Harry Potter 4 dvd collection
• Candy cane pajammies

From Mommy:

• HUGE ASS universal remote control (too funny)
• Portable dvd player (for traveling)
• dvd player case
• fancy silverware with wooden case

From the in-law's:

• small wooden box (kinda like a small hope chest) with "Young" carved on the front
• Bob Evan's gift card (a running joke for years now since we ate there and neither one of us had "working" money)
• a fleece shirt for me
• a nice shirt for Russell

And then of course we both got money from others who never know what to get us, lol. It was a good Christmas. The first night we got into Braxton we watched Jet Li's Fearless which is a must see, and we also watched The Wickerman which was really creepy but not that great. Rusty's been so sick lately. Saturday was the worst, but ever since then he has different problems. I've been trying to get him to go to the doctor since he can go for free with our new insurance, but you know men. He's says he's going to wait and see how it goes, but if it's his gallbladder, then it will come and go anyway. Somehow I need to think up a plan to trick him to go.

I've been making pretty scarves with my nifty knitter. It really doesn't take long at all to make them either. I gave grandma one for Christmas (and she called it her prayer shawl since she's been sick), and then she has to show me up and take me to these crocheted afghan baby blankets that she's been making for me, lol. She decided to make 2 for each grandchild now because she says she won't always be around to make them, and apparently my great grandma made a few and now family is fighting over them now that she can't make anymore. It's sad. She was doing a bit better for a while, but now they say she's sleeping all the time and only waking up to eat a little bit. Mom wanted me to go up there this weekend since they think she won't be around much longer, but I have to work, and what's the point really when she won't even know I'm there to see her anyway.

Russell and I are taking down Christmas decorations today, and we have to go grocery shopping. I'm going to start a new hobby today if I can figure it out. I'll take pictures of the wooden chest whenever we get stuff moved around and put it out. It's so pretty.

Random Comments

Great Grandma is eating again.

I really want to snoop in the presents Russell has for me under the tree.
One of them is either a dvd or a game....or he's somehow being sneaky. He's just like that. He likes to put presents in other boxes to confuse me, and it works.

I feel down being here by myself tonight, but he'll be home in an hour. Still counting down.

I don't understand some people.
They must not think of me anymore.
I still think about them.
Maybe it's just because I'm feeling down tonight.

I want to be cuddled for a week straight and not leave the house.
I want to go home to Braxton and live there...now....not years from now when I'm finally done.
I want life to be easy.
I want this house to clean itself along with the dishes.
I want Red Lobster.
I want to have pictures of everything and all of it neatly and creatively put in all this scrabooking stuff that I have but don't have time or energy to use.
I want this scarf I'm making to be magically done so I can start on the next one.

I want to sleep for a while so I don't have to think. Maybe that's why I nap so much.

I just found out tonight that they think my Great Grandma is close to dying. She's been sleeping for the past few days and just woke up, and now she's having trouble breathing. I don't know what I expected. She's in her mid 90s. It's just that I never got to go see her this year because life got in the way as it tends to do.

Now all I can do is wait.

I don't want to get up early *tear*

Russell, Andrea, Seese and I are having our Christmas dinner/exchange presents tomorrow night. Actually, since it's after midnight, that would be tonight. I'm making a yummy lasagna since my lasagna is the bestest and some garlic bread, and they are bringing a veggie and a dessert. I'm really excited for them to open their presents.

I did some Christmas shopping for Russell today. I think I might buy him one more thing. We said a $75 limit, but you know me. I'm already at $88, and there is still that one more thing. He says I'm done, but we'll see about that.

I know I should be going to bed right now since I have to get up at 6:00am for work, but I'm so used to going to bed at 3:00am for the past week and a half now that I just can't go to sleep. I'm too awake.

I have been trying to buy the damn nifty knitter thinger, and I've checked both Wal-Marts in Morgantown, and they are BOTH OUT! What a crock of shit. It looks like I'm going to have to make a trip to Michael's even though I really don't want to. I need something to take up my time now that I have no classes...other than Harry Potter of course.

$400 tires?!

School is complete. Yay!

We spent $400 on 6 tires. Merry Christmas.

Friday I have to make the trip to Braxton (by myself in my junker car) because Gunther needs checked out. He had an allergy shot, but it didn't last long, and he's constantly scratching to wear he has bald patches again. Russell thinks we'll have to put him on prednisone or some kind of allergy pill. Also, he still keeps throwing up all the time, so Ross is going to check that, too. We've always fed him Purina Urinary Tract Formula do to his many many UTI's before, but I think I'm going to switch to the expensive vet stuff that does UTI and hairballs to see if that helps. I have to be there before noon so I can't take Russell's car because he works 11-8pm. Let's hope I don't break down. The new tires should help. After that I'll probably go hang out with mom at Shoney's until she gets off work, then go hang out at her house till 6 or so and come home.

Russell's about to get a good amount of money from the Braxton County Fair Board. He's been doing their website for a couple of years now, so he'll get like $500 for doing it and fees for the domain, and then they want to buy his design, so he'll get a good bit for that, too. Not sure how much he's going to charge, yet.

The assholes at Wal-Mart are making him work Christmas eve, so it looks like we won't get to go to his Grandma's after all.

I've done some Christmas shopping, but I haven't bought anything for Russell, yet. I want to think of something fantastic, but so far nothing comes to mind.
It was cute, he was telling me I should go get my nails done while I was waiting for our tires yesterday, but I told him I wasn't aloud to have fake nails or anything but clear nail polish at work. It turns out he was fishing to see if I was interested because he was going to get me a gift coupon to get my nails done for Christmas. lol :)
As long as I'm a nurse, though, there are no pretty nails in my future. Maybe when I get my master's though!

Damn tires

What happens after I work my ass off all night?!

I get a freaking flat tire on the way home!!!

Luckily it happened right before Dairy Mart so I could pull over there. I managed to get the car lifted before Russell got there, but I couldn't get the bolts to budge. Russell, however, got it with like one tug....asswhipe.

So, yeah...God hates me.
I had to drive home on a bicycle tire. (well, it looked like one)

At least I got Dairy Mart cookies and cream ice cream out of it.

Dead fish

I killed my fish.
The filter hadn't been working, so I just left it plugged in. Well, the bottom pipe thinger that hooks onto the filter came off somehow, so it magically came on out of nowhere yesterday while we were both gone, and when I looked at the fish tank when I came home, my white fish was sucked up into it. There was nothing wrong with him that I know of, and he was fine last night, so that means he died by the machine. When I unplugged it, he fell out of it, and his face was all pointy.
I feel like it's all my fault for keeping that machine plugged in, but I never thought it was going to start working again just like that.

Even though we put our Christmas tree up, and we just put lights up outside, it just doesn't feel like Christmas around here.

Maybe it's because I haven't put any of the presents under the tree, yet.

Or maybe it's because I gave Russell the only Christmas present that I have for him so far.
Anyone have any ideas?

Scrape scrape

I had to go get my annual tonight. I usually hate the thought of going there because sometimes they aren't so pleasant, but this woman (whom I've had before and wasn't very pleasant) was so nice. She made me feel really comfortable, and she answer some questions that I had about a "problem". She said I could either ignore it, or they could supplement me with estrogen, so I said I would just deal with it. There is no way I'm taking any more estrogen then I have to. The only slight problem was that she must have cut me with her little tool thingy because she said not to freak out if I have some bleeding. Oh well. Not like I'm not used to it by now.
Ok, I'm sure you've heard enough about feminine stuff now.

In other news, I found out that if I get my beloved externship over the summer (which seems to be looking more like I'll get it due to my "contacts"), they will resign me from my CA position, and when the summer is over, I will have to reapply for another CA position (which might not even be the same floor). I like my floor, so that makes the decision hard, but I was really looking forward to this externship. I get paid $10/hour to shadow a nurse all summer. It's good experience and looks really good on applications.

I've also been talking to the Dean about starting the MSN program early. It turns out, from what I understand, that I do not graduate early from the BSN, but I just start taking the MSN classes in the Fall along with the rest of my BSN classes. I realize that this is a shit ton of work, but I'm used to doing a shit ton of work all the time now, and these classes are online. Russell might have to get a better job because I doubt with all that that I will have any extra time for working, but if this is what I want to do, then I need to just go for it. I could wait, and do it after I graduate, but this is one semester quicker to being finished. I have a meeting with the Dean on Monday to discuss all of this and see what I need to do. I don't see how I wouldn't be a candidate. I've proved that I can balance work. Heck, right now I do school full time, work my ass off at Ruby, I'm married, and I've managed to get Bs and As in all my classes (mostly As in my clinicals)...I think I can handle it.

Bring it on, life. You can't bring me down.

The hubby watches Dawson's Creek!!

Just one thing for tonight...

Russell watches Dawson's Creek episodes with me every once in a while (until I keep watching and watching until he finally leaves), but tonight it was different. I actually got him INTERESTED in the show! He made the decision to watch the next one on the dvd instead of doing something else...lol. Too bad the next one was kinda boring, but still.

TREEEEE

Look who has already been caught underneath the tree....

ANOTHER!

1. You can only say YES or NO!

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Been photographed naked? no
Kissed a member of the same sex? yes

Shoplifted? no
Are you a little fraidy-cat, then? yes
Told a lie? yes
Gotten in a car with people you just lied to? yes
Been in a fist fight? yes
Been stalked? no
Been arrested? no
Left your house without telling your parents? yes
Ditched school to do something more fun? yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex? yes
Seen someone die? no
Slept in until 3? yes
Owned a cat? yes
Owned a ferret? yes
Owned a naked mole rat? no
Played dress up? yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? yes
Gotten a black eye? no
Rejected someone? yes
Eaten Bisquick powder right out of the box? no
Been camping? yes
Woke up hung over, muddy, naked, and with a sore butt? no
Been in a hurricane? no
Touched a snake? yes
Touched a trouser snake? yes
Swam with dolphins? no
Ran a red light? yes
Gotten a ticket? no
Gotten caught sneaking out? no
Like big butts? no
Read a Harry Potter book? yes
Slapped someone in the face? no
Broken a mirror? no
Been a cheerleader? yes
Looked up a cheerleaders skirt? yes
Gotten a detention? yes
Been in a car accident? yes
Pole danced? no
Been lost? yes
Fell in love with your teacher? no
Kissed someone and regretted it? yes
Put out your own eye in a fit of pique? no
Been bungee jumping? no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes
Laughed until something another person was drinking came out your nose? no
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
Vomited in Europe? no
Vomited in Canada? no
Laid on your back to watch the stars? yes
Been to a therapist? no
Took so many drugs your head exploded? no
Been in choir? yes
Sang in the shower? yes
Gotten a naked mole rat stuck in your throat? no
Stayed awake for 48 hours straight? no
Gone to school partially naked? no
Sat on a roof top? yes
Played chicken? yes
Been chicken tipping? no
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no
Been scuba diving? no
Been snorkelling? yes
Had surgery? no
Been put to sleep? no
Cheated on a final exam? no

Been expelled from school? no
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? yes
Tasted your own pee? (Fess up- everyones done it as a kid) no
Are you some kind of piss freak? no
Broken a bone? yes
Gotten stitches? yes
Mooned/flashed a stranger? no
Been suspended from school? no
Forgotten someone's name? yes
Slept naked? yes
Asked someone out? yes
Been asked out? yes
Sleep walked? yes
Been stung by a bee? yes
Been stung by a jellyfish? yes
Blacked out from drinking? yes
Been away from your home for over a month? no
Cussed someone out in a public place? yes
Kissed a complete stranger? no
Skinny Dipped? no
Played spin the bottle? yes
Spanked it to magazines you stole from Dad? no
Been the third wheel on someone else's date? no
Been an ingredient of a sandwich? no
Gotten off from the thrill of answering nosy questions about your sex life? no
Been cheated on? no
Felt like killing someone? yes
Killed yourself? no
Made a parent cry? yes
Cried over someone? yes
Had/Have a dog? yes
Eaten dog food? no
Do you really care about questions like this? no
Played the skin flute? yes
Been in a mosh pit? no
Drank 25 sodas in a day? no
Shot a gun? yes

Long ass survey - so bored

1. Are you wearing a necklace? Not at the moment


2. Does your computer have a mouse? Der


3. Who is the main person you talk to in each of your classes?
Everyone in my clinical group

5. What color is your shirt? gray

6. How many bedrooms do you have in your house? 2

7. What song are you listening to? christmas songs from the christmas tree music box

8. what was the last mall you've been to? Morgantown mall

9. Are you alone? nope

10. Do you have any older siblings? Joshy

11. What is the last thing you ate? pumpkin pie!

12. Who was the last person to come over to your house? umm, Sammy to pick up some homework

13. Who was the last person to call you? Andrea

14. Who was the last person who texted you? Russell

15. What time is it? 1:37pm

16. What should you be doing? decorating

17. Who is the last person you IMed? Andrea

18. Did you go out to eat yesterday? went to Eat and Park

19. What are you thinking about right now? "when are we going to start decorating!"

20. What color are your pants? blue plaid

21. What color is your keyboard? black

22. What do you feel like eating/drinking? OLIVE GARDEN OR CICI'S PIZZA

23. Are you in college? of course...it never ends

24. What is the last phrase you wrote? of course...it never ends

25. Are you bored? yup, why else would i be filling this crap out?

26. How many teeth do you have? umm (counting with my tongue)....28?

28. Do you wear glasses? yup

29. What color are your shoes? skin color cause i'm not wearing any

31. Last thing you drank? caramel latte

34. Who do you love? Russell, Gunther, mommy, etc. etc. etc.

35. What are you doing right now? what does it look like i'm doing?

What happend to 36?

37: what are you looking at now? the computer

38. What's the last words you said? "i'm counting my teeth"

39. Do you have lip gloss on? nope

40. Do you have eyeliner on? hell no

41. Did u realize there was no question number 36? eh?

42. Do you have a cut on your pointer finger? um, no

43. Where is your cell phone? dead in my purse

44. Do you have any friends named Robbie? no

46. Do you have any friends named Nikki/nicki? not really

47. Are you afraid of the dark? heck yeah

48. Did you used to watch "are you afraid of the dark"? of course

49. Do you like someone right now? no because someone is making me mad right now

50. What size shoe are you? 9-9 1/2

These are supposedly 30 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them, with what comes to mind first, then REPOST.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? i haven't looked in the mirror today

2. When is the next time you will have sex? who in the hell knows the answer to that question?!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? sore

4. Favorite planet? uranus

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? i don't know - it's dead

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? i don't have one

7. What kinda shirt you have on? long sleeve

8. What do you "label" yourself? retard

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? not wearing any

10. Bright or Dark Room? both


11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? i don't know - i stole it

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? which ever one i lay down on first

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? waiting for Rusty to come home while watching tv


14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile? it's been a while


15. Where is your letter box? up the hill


16. What's a word that you say a lot? fuck

17.Who told you he/she loved you last? Rusty

18. Last furry thing you touched? Rusty, lol OR Gunther

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? ye ol' birth control


20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? probably some old ones


21. Favorite age you have been so far? 21?


22. Your worst enemy? the hole in the kitchen floor


23. What is your current desktop picture? something that was already there when we reset the computer


24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "fuck you"


25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take? flying all the way!

26. Do you like someone? NOOOOOOOO for the last time

27. The last song you listened to? didn't i already say this, too?

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? of course

29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be? Tom Cruise


30. What is the closest object to your left foot? container

SECTION 1. ABOUT YOURSELF
+ Known as: Tonya
+ Lives in: Morgantown
Birthday: May 27, 1984
School: WVU School of Nursing

+ Shoe size: 9-9 1/2
+ Hair color: dark brown

+ Style: whatever, i have none

SECTION 2. HAVE YOU EVER...
+ Cheated on someone? nope
+ Been Cheated on? i don't think so

+ Fallen off the bed? plenty of times
+ Broken someones heart? yes
+ Had your heart broken? yes
+ Had a dream come true? Yes
+ Done something you regret? yes
+ Cheated on a test? yes lol i admit it

SECTION 3. CURRENTLY...
+ Wearing? pjs
+ Listening to? Russell jibbering about his game
+ Chatting with? Russell
+ Watching? the computer
+ Should REALLY be doing? homework, cleaning

SECTION 4. DO YOU...
+ Brush your teeth? ya
+ Have any piercings? 6
+ Drive? yes
+ Drink? sometimes, not often though
+ Smoke? Nope
+ Got a cellphone? Yes

SECTION 5. Friends...
+ Who are the best? Russell, Andrea, Seese
+ Who do you hate? why would they be my friend if i hated them?
+ Who is the most talkative? probably me
+ Who is the nicest? all
+ Who laughs the most? all
+ Who have you known the longest? Andrea
+ Who have you known the shortest? Samantha
+ Do you hang out with the opposite sex? nah
+ Do you trust your friends? of course
+ Are you a good friend? sometimes
+ Can you keep a secret? yes

SECTION 6. THE LAST PERSON YOU...
+ Hugged? Russell

+ Kissed? Russell

+ IMed? Andrea

+ Talked to on the phone? Andrea


7. PERSONAL...
+ What do you want to be when you grow up? probably nurse practitioner or Clinical Nurse Specialist
+ What has been the best day of your life? there are a lot of those
+ What comes first in your life? I would be lying if I didn't say Russell
+ Do you have a crush on someone? nah
+ What are you most scared of? bees
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? what i have to do tomorrow
+ Have you lost someone you really loved? yes
+ How many times have you fallen in love? uno

+ Love your family? of course
+ Love your friends? of course

SECTION 8. FAVORITE...
+ Movie: The Notebook, Harry Potter, Drop Dead Fred, etc.
+ Song: too many
+ Band: too many
+ Store: i guess after all this, I would still have to say Wal-Mart
+ Sport: softball
+ Ice Cream Flavor: Cookies and Cream
+ Fruit: Peach
+ Candy: skittles
+ Day of the Week: whatever day I have OFF!
+ Name for a Girl: Lexi (my baby name)


9. DO YOU...
+ like to give hugs? yes
+ Like to give kisses? yes
+ Like to walk in the rain? sometimes
+ Prefer black or blue pens? black
+ Sleep on your side, stomach or back? all
+ Have a goldfish? 2
+ Ever have the falling dream? heck yeah, i jump!

Park and Eat

I just can't stand it anymore!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE MAKING ME WAIT UNTIL 7.13.2007 TO SEE HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!
I'm going to go crazy.
I think I'm starting to twitch.

OH, by the way...we are ALL going on opening night, and we're dressing up, so start thinking of who you want to be. I think we have Russell talked into being Hagrid, lol.


I ended up getting the living room clean tonight, but that was it. I got talked into heading over to Andi and Seese's to hang out for a while. We ended up going to Eat and Park (which I think should be called Park and Eat), and we had kick ass pumpkin pie and lattes. The woman put like a whole can of whipped cream on top. Now I have a tummy ache. Can you believe that they charge almost $3 per piece, but you can buy the whole damn pie for only $7?! If you have two people or more, it makes sense just to buy the whole damn thing and take the rest home, lol.


AWWWW...RUSTY JUST GOT HOME AND HE BROUGHT ME ROSES!!!!!
He's so sweet.
I asked him why, and he said "because you're beautiful".
*tear*
I'm a lucky girl.

Christmas presents

So far I have a few Christmas presents in mind to get people. I'm really excited! We're going to decorate this week, and that means I get to put my hot pink Christmas tree up!!! YAY!!
Russell's already let the cat out of the bag on one of the presents that he was getting me, and now he says he's not going to, but I want it. Boohoo. Here's the whole story:

I called a local store today to see if they had this thing that I wanted to get Andrea. Well, they did, and they put it on hold for me. Russell heard this conversation, and he says
"You bitch"
"What?"
"I was getting that for you as one of your presents!"
"Umm, this isn't for me..."

LOL! So, anyway, now he's mad at himself for telling me. Too funny.

In other news, I finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Yes, I have been reading it forever, but when you're in nursing school, there isn't much extra time for reading other than about nursing. Sooooo good...and sad. And now I keep thinking "OMG, I'm on the last book, and I'll be finished with it and die because I have to wait for the next one to come out! What am I going to do?!" So, I've read the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And now I'm even sadder that a whole other chapter is gone....gone! And I'm getting pissed having to wait until next summer to see the damn movie! UGH!

Well, I'm going to go make lunch. Laterz.

Computer trouble

I got very lucky today. We have been talking about wiping and redoing my computer for a while now because my World of Warcraft hasn't been running so swell and it has been getting errors a lot, and the computer has been spontaneously restarting....so, I burned all of my pictures, music, and word documents (along with some programs) that I wanted to keep onto cds so we would have them to put back on after the wipe. Well, my computer was acting even more crappy last night so we were planning on doing it this morning. I shut my computer down before I went to bed. I came in this morning to check weatherbug to see what the weather would be like today, but when I tried to turn it on, all there was on the screen was black and a message saying that there was an error with windows and that it needed repaired. Well, I lost everything (we might have been able to recover it, but it would have taken a while). So, we actually didn't have to wipe the computer because it was already wiped. Now it is new and fresh, but I'm now having to download every annoying update and program I want on it. Sucks much. We're thinking I had some kind of nasty virus or worm that had done a lot of damage, so I urge everyone of you to keep your virus checker updated and running often so you don't lose all your precious stuff on your computer.

Oh, and it's not fun getting a pt that weighs 400 pounds constantly ringing the call bell for people to come in and scratch her ass....
It was so bad even turning her that we needed at least 3 people and me putting all my weight into pushing her stomach over. It's a good thing the girls on our floor are buff.

Blah

I'm tired of working and schooling. I'm getting burnt out again. I love the nursing stuff, but there is only so much a girl can take. It hits me even more this weekend that I have off because I'm already thinking on Saturday about having to go back on Monday. My time off goes way to damn fast. I would like to be a home body for about a month, and I think that will get it out of my system. I think it's a good idea for Russell and I to barricade ourselves in the trailer for a month and do nothing but lay in bed, read books, play video games, watch tv, eat, do it, and repeat.

In other news, I actually cleaned my kitchen today in between laying on my sick ass and watching tv.

Pictures from girlies night in

We did facials while drinking boone's farm out of the bottle with neon straws and watching "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls". We also went to IHOP and harrassed Russell at Wal-Mart. It's a bit shocking to come walking up to someone with your arms full of boone's farm and a toilet plunger.

Dead body #deuce

I went to work yesterday hoping it was going to be a good day. But, when I walked in, I was informed that I was being pulled to the 5th floor which is MICU (medical intensive care unit). I started to freak a little because I had never been trained in an ICU. However, I marched my butt down there (by way of elevator), and they showed me the ropes a bit. I need to be learning this anyway because our cardiac intensive care unit will be opening soon. At times, it seems easier at ICU. All the machines take the vital signs (except temperature which you only take 4 hours anyway), so the CAs go around and write down vital signs off the monitor every hour. If someone poops the bed, then you help clean it up. Blah blah blah. I spent most of the time standing around because there wasn't much to do.

The CA beside me ended up having a patient die because they took them off life support. I poked my head in to be nice and see if I could help because in that situation, then more people the better. I wouldn't want to be alone. So I took the body bag in for them, and it was him, me, and the nurse. He face looked HORRIBLE! It was almost terrifying. And she was seaping stuff everywhere. She also kicked me. That's right. The were rolling her to put her in the body bag, and her leg kicked me. *sad face* Ugh, I was just sitting here in a daze reliving the moment. Anyway....

So, in better news, I absolutely loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove my hair. Love love love it. Best decision I ever made. I've been having people tell me that I even look more sophisticated...hmm.

Also, plans are in the process for a girly night this weekend with my two favorite girlies, Andi and Seese, so yay for that. Today is my last day of work until Wednesday. Yay me! I actually have time to get some much needed homework done this weekend. OH, and no class on Tuesday is a happy day for Tonya.