Tomorrow is my first day of work....how did my break go by so darn fast?? Even though all I do is listen to people talk tomorrow, I am sooo nervous. What if this job isn't right for me? What if I suck at it? I don't think I'll suck, but it will definitely be hard. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Russell and I just went to the eye doctor again for the second time in one year because Russell has already lost his expensive first pair of glasses. It's nice to have vision insurance now, although make sure it is working before you go to the eye doctor and have to spend your whole appointment time on the phone. Anyways, we finally got checked, and it turns out that my vision is now 20/200 in my right eye and 20/100 in my left eye. Wowsers. Never thought my eyes would get that bad. But indeed they are. She talked me into getting a new kind of contacts. I was using the Acuvue Oasys which I loooooved, but she wasn't pleased that I was wearing 2 week contacts for a month straight. She decided she felt safer if I chose a new pair, so I got these Bausch and Lomb monthlies that are really thick, but comfortable, and you are supposed to be able to wear them for a month straight if you want...not that the optometrist still recommends that, but nevertheless it seems to be the safer choice for me. I also tried on some colored contacts there, but they just didn't work. They did not fit and were squirming around in my eye; I could see the color they were in my vision sometimes, and they didn't seem to change my eye color as much as I thought they should. Or as much as their pictures show they should. I tried on freshlook and acuvue colors....so if anyone knows better ones, please let me know.

I start my brand new job this monday. I am soooooooooo nervous and scared. Not so much for the first week, but after that I am expected to be a competent nurse, and I don't think I am ready to be that, yet. I know they don't expect me to know everything, and that is why I go through orientation so I can learn all these things seeing as though everyone says you don't learn how to be a nurse until you start working, but it's so risky. I'm working in an intensive care unit where people's lives are in my hands. Did I bite off more than I can chew? I just wanted a job that I love and want to go to. Is this it? I guess only time will tell.
I also have to go take my NCLEX license exam February 4th, and I can't even make myself study. This is terrible. My pay drops down a minimum of $11 from what I was making, and I have to fork out another $200 to take the damn test again which my chances of passing after failing drop a ton. Can you tell this is a big deal? Why am I being so casual about it? Why can't I just study like I'm sure everyone else is doing right now? I want to puke right about now.

Other than that everything is going alright.

Oh, anyone want to come and clean this stink-hole of a trailer? I don't think anyone could take this mess on....lol.