What's the deal with my brain. Why am I so obviously insane.

I love that song.

Anyway, big changes coming. I accepted a new job in the pre/post anesthesia care unit...aka before and after surgery. My last day in the ICU is May 14, and I'm actually sad at the moment. I'm sure if I had a really bad day there...again...that my mind would change pretty quick, BUT as of right now I'm sad. I like most of the people I work with and it seems that I am just now feeling like people like having me around. For this, I will miss the ICU. I think I will also miss doing a few other things like changing nasty wound dressings (lmao, I know I am gross) and things like that. But I will not miss feeling like the bottom is always going to drop out. Who knows, the stress for me may be just as bad in the new place, but then it's just time to keep looking because I am totally done with this stressful unhappiness that I have been carrying around for so long. I am too young to be bitter, yet I am. I'm ready to be care-free, happy, and loving life. I'm still not there, but I am working on it. I may be able to blame my problems on someone else like some would say I have the right to do. A stress-filled childhood a lot of times leads to a stressful life. Maybe this is why I am a "chronic worrier" or always waiting for that bottom to drop out because that is what I learned. That is me apparently. But I'm through with it. I don't blame anyone but myself. I allow myself to be this way, and now I'm trying to reverse it. It's not an easy process, but I'm working on it. Let's hope this job is the change I am looking for.

In other news, I am totally ready to go camping! I want to go so bad. I'm ready for campfires with Rusty and me cuddling in our tent with our books! It's so relaxing and care free (until the huge storm comes and we're trying not to let our butts touch the ground so we don't get struck by lightening! lol). Oh and this time we're going to plan a little better so our coolers don't get attacked by ricky raccoon who feels the need to open the cooler and sit in it. Maybe his butt was hot or something. Maybe we can go for my birthday!! Unfortunately it always seems to rain on my birthday, plus I am owed a trip to red lobster.

What the hell do I want? Surely that's an easy question. I want to be free from all this bullshit. I don't want to have to go to work today. It's not healthy to sit here and just worry about the fact that you HAVE to go into work today. I was hoping this change would come sooner, but it looks like they're dragging out the process.

*Cross your fingers* Job change in the near future.