Schooools out for summer...or not.

I've been assigned to do my clinicals at Primary Care Systems in Clay. My mentor's last name is Boner...seriously. How will I not giggle every day? I'm nervous because I feel like I don't know anything, and they are going to see right through me. This place is not only a clinic, but they also do urgent care, so that will be a good experience I think. The only crappy thing is it's around a 45 minute drive from home, but almost everything is a long drive for me anymore. I start the week of July 1st.

I had an interview at hospice yesterday. They seemed to really like me and what I had to say, but they said to give them 2 weeks before they let me know because they put an ad in the paper and were going to do more interviews. They didn't come right out and say it, but I'm thinking they are concerned about having to work with my clinical schedule. After all, I have to do 20 hours of clinicals per week for 6 weeks, and 16 hours per week for Fall and Spring semesters. My life is going to suck this year it seems. Oh, not to mention that I will have class on top of that. I also have to keep a log on all the patients I see which takes time, but I think it will be an interesting thing to keep track of to see what all I have done.

I'm trying to learn more with my classes, but there is so much information that it is hard.

Meh.

Memory lane is closed...so why are all the immigrants breaking the baracade?

WOW,I just found my old Blurty from 2004/2005...the days before the Blogger. I've been reading them, and my life back then sounded much more happy and simple. I was excited about EVERYTHING! And that was the days of my big weight loss. Such motivation I had. Where did it go? I think I was happier because I felt healthier and much better about myself in general. Not that I'm not happy now, but I was more of a giddy person back then, and somehow I have lost some of that along the way. I still think it's because of the weight. Maybe reading these will help me get back in the groove!

Man, I even had cool and witty titles like thee one above!

EXCUSES

Why do I always have an excuse to not start WW? I'm paying for it. Shouldn't that be incentive enough? I want to lose weight before we go to CA in October and in general, but I always have an excuse to wait. Past excuses: "This week is my birthday; This weekend we're going to visit friends; Russell's mom is having a cookout; First week of work, who knows where I'll end up eating; etc. etc. etc." It's always something. Why does food have to be so important to me? Apparently more important than feeling good about myself. I remember when Russell and I got married and lived in our first apartment, I did WW like there was nothing else. I stuck to it, and I lost a lot of weight. I was even down to the 150s, looking good, feeling good, getting out and exercising because I WANTED to! And BAM, out of nowhere, I got tired of counting points and stopped. And then everything came back, plus a ton more. Why did I do this? I HAVE NO FRICKING CLUE! And that is one of the biggest things that bother me. Because I was doing so well and feeling so good! Why did I let this happen? Now I have more weight to lose than ever. I can't even fit in a lot of my clothes or what used to be loose and baggy now fits. Where do I find motivation? When will the excuses end so I can start? It's like I know how to eat healthy, and I don't at the same time. Breakfast and lunch I know how to eat. Dinners are so hard for me. I'm not a great cook, so it's hard for me to cook healthy for both of us. Every time I look for websites with good healthy EASY recipes, I end up finding ones that have thing I've never even heard of. Oh looky, another excuse. They just pop up everywhere, don't they?

In other news, we're going to Adrienne and Clinton's this weekend, and I am sooo excited! I love seeing them because we're just all friends. The boys are friends, the girls are friends, and we're just all friends with each other, and we get along so well! We all like doing the same things! Even our puppies like each other, and they love to play together! Adrienne and I (and possibly the boys) are going to have a shopping day on Friday! Not that I need to be spending money, but it will be so much fun! Maybe we can talk the boys into watching Sex and the City! So, yet another excuse to eat horribly for the rest of the week and all weekend. Maybe I can get my shit together for next week?! Maybe.

Oh, and we had a great time last night with Russell's parents. We had a weenie roast down by the pond with a big fire! We just hung around for hours and talked and just enjoyed each others company. We're thinking about having a picnic down there for July 4th and doing some fishing! We've seen some HUGE small mouth bass in there, so we're excited to see what we catch!