Sugar, we're going down swinging.

It's been a while since I posted. Things have just kinda been crazy lately. I'm sitting at the library, like usual. Having no electricity sucks ass! I don't know if you realize, but it gets kinda cold when everything in your apartment is electric (including the heater), and there is no electric. That snow was just CRAZY! What the hell was that?

Anyways, we're going into Braxton tonight to stay with Russell's parents. Then we have to get up early in order to get some blood taken. That should be fun. At least I'll know if either one of us has anything wrong. That kinda makes me feel better, although lately I've been a little freaked about that sort of thing.

This week in animal physiology lab, we had to work on our own sheep. I thought I was okay with it, but something about tearing flesh of a live animal bothers me. Yeah, it's anesthatized and can't feel anything, but it's just weird, warm, and beating. I'd rather be working on something that's already dead, but then again I guess you couldn't really study the living body otherwise. The things we do are kind of neat, and we get to see things that you normally would not be able to see, but I kind of had a breakdown about it the other night. All the sudden, death was just so confusing to me. I just couldn't handle it. But, now I'm fine. I'm sure I'll be okay next week when we have another sheep, but hopefully I don't have another night like this week. If you knew me as a kid, though, something like that would seem normal. I use to always cry and cry to my mom about death. It was like an everyday thing. Kids shouldn't worry that much, but I was one of the most worry-wart kids you'd ever meet. I learned different techniques when I was younger to cope with my feelings about death, and after I grew up some, I would have those thoughts less and less, but I still sometimes get those awful feelings again. Now it's easier to ignore, but then I think that maybe I shouldn't be ignoring them. It's real life.

I know all of this is probably confusing to someone reading, but it all makes sense to me, and that is what's so....I don't know. Whatever. Add any word that you want. I'm done for today.

Bug Crisis

Welp, I forgot to tell everyone the story of my mystery bugs, so I'm going to update once again. Last night, Russell and I went to bed around midnight thirty, and then around 1:15 am, I started freaking out. I thought I saw tons of larger sized nat looking things flying around our bed. I jumped up really quick and started yelling at Russell. "TURN ON THE LIGHT! TURN ON THE LIGHT QUICK!!" I ripped him out of his sleep, so he didn't know what was going on. As soon as he turned on the light I realized that there was nothing around me. No bugs. No nothing. Let's just say that Russell wasn't too happy that I woke him up due to imaginary bugs seeing as though he had to get up at 6:00 am. Woops.

At least I haven't checked out any Wal-Mart customers in my sleep lately. That was a very bad time in my life. Hmph.

Sniff sniff

Russell and I took a three hour nap this evening before his big world of warcraft raid. Why is it that it's so much fun to take naps together? It seems more special than just sleeping together every night because everyone sleeps every night, but to take a nap together during the day means you actually enjoy sleeping beside one another. I know. I'm a big dork. And yeah, we definitely won't be able to sleep tonight.

I also have always had this fetish with smelling him. I can't get enough of it. Sometimes I just sit here, lean over, and smell his arm over and over and over. He smells so good, and I think it probably has something to do with his pheremones, as well. Ever since I met him I've had this thing with smelling him. Mmm...gotta love that old spice, too. :)

Do me a favor...leave me alone.

Why can't people just leave other people alone?! I would love to be able to walk back and forth to class without someone bugging me, but it just does not and will not happen. Whether it be the guideans (spelling?) or people trying to get your vote...leave me alone! I will not vote for you unless I know you anyway, so by you bugging me, I'm just going to not vote for you even more or worse, vote for the opposite person just because they left me the hell alone! Take today for instance, I was minding my own business walking to the library to update my life for all you loyal readers when out of nowhere, this guy stops me. You can kind of tell when these people have something in mind just by the way they stare at you when you're walking toward them. He stopped me and asked me if I wanted to buy some "interesting religious books from India for $1". Is this my punishment for not taking the stairs?? LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
I don't know you.
I don't want to know you.
I don't want your product of any kind.
I don't want to sign your petition.
I already have three bibles.
I don't vote.
What else do you want from me? Hey, I'm not saying that I won't do all these things for my friends, because I do not mind doing that, but if I don't know you, don't freaking talk to me unless you're lost or need the time. Other than that, I'm dead to you. Get it? Probably not. This subject of human beings bothering other human beings will never end. People just love to be annoying.

I want my damn cookie dough poptart!!

It took me FOREVER to find a damn seat in the library today! What the hell? I always find an empty computer right away. I went to almost every freaking floor, too! So, finally I found one on the bottom floor, and now I can't eat my cookie dough poptart because all of the library trolls are watching me. They have x-ray glasses, and they know that I'm carrying a poptart in my purse, although they may not know that it's the deathly cookie dough poptart. I got yelled at once in here for having a drink! That had a lid on it! Never mind a crumbling poptart.

Animal physiology lab test is today. It really shouldn't be too bad. I know this stuff.

I spent buttloads of money yesterday on clothes, but I actually got some cute things like sweaters (pumpkin colored) and dressy shirts and a button up sweater...and nice pants. Maybe I won't look to shabby or like a hobo this fall. I felt bad about spending that much money, though, seeing as though Russell didn't find anything he wanted...*sad face*.

We were seriously looking at some houses in the Homes and Land catalogue, but when we looked online at the realtor's websites, each house was already under contract, so now I am furious. I WANT A HOUSE NOW DAMN IT! Who knows what we'll end up doing. We have until May, but when you're buying your first house, that really isn't that much time with all of the things that you have to do.

I want my cookie dough poptart. I'm losing ATP as we speak...losing it through typing that is and possibly through fidgeting as well.

I've been working at the courtesy desk more, and I've been seeming to like it. Time flies by a lot faster over there than up front. I'm not constantly checking my watch because I don't mind what I'm doing. I already got my 20 cent raise even though I haven't started there fully, yet...not until the new schedule, but I have been filling in when they don't have anybody. I can now do all of the Money Gram sending and receiving and money orders on the computer, so I'm not a total idiot.

OHH, and in my psychology class, we watched a film on the "wild child", and it was so moving...and it pissed me off. There was this 13 year old girl that they called "Genie" whom they found in her mom and dad's house tied to her potty chair. She was beaten any time she made a noise, so she never talked or communicated, and she lived most of her life tied to the potty chair. Because of this, she missed the critical period to learn language, and she seemed mentally retarded, even though they believed that she wasn't born that way. Scientists and psychologists were all fascinated by this, and they wanted to study her and teach her. They even taught her how to speak (even though it was high pitched and muffled), and they also taught her how to do sign language, but alas, the scientists did not record their research, and their granting was taken away. They always said how much they loved and cared for "Genie", so what did they do when the granting was pulled? They gave her back to her incompitent mother after being placed in many different foster homes. Her father had previously commited suicide, and her mother stated that she was also oa victem to her husband. She didn't live there very long before being placed in a home for mentally retarded adults where she still resides today. The people who said they loved her never saw her again.

It pisses me off because even though she was disabled due to the circumstances handed her, she was learning with gaining a mental age year every year after they found her. But, because they didn't have money anymore, they gave up on her, and sent her to the dogs. It is so disappointing. All in the name of science, right? I recommend that you go to your local library and find the movie about "Genie" also known as "The Wild Child".

Large glasses equals pissing my brains out.

I have a huge paper due and two tests this week, but am I using my free time productively? A big hell no to that one. Instead I am updating my blog. It's nice to know that I have my priorities straight. I am on the bottom floor of the library today. I normally go to the sixth floor, but the elevator is out of order, and I refuse to walk that many flights of stairs.

We went on a double date with Andrea and Erik on Friday night. We went and ate dinner at CJ Maggies which was very good. It's scary when you get a kick out of drawing penises on the table with a crayon and asking the waitress if they have any live pigs at least three times. Their glasses are so huge that I had to pee many times that night. After dinner (and horrid traffic) we went to the movies and watched "Corpse Bride" which was just okay. I probably wouldn't watch it again unless someone already had it on the tv. I also won a chicken that poops out a yolk sack. I will post pictures of that when I get home sometime. AND I bought a shirt about mullets, so that's cool also.

Welp, I will post more later, but I'm going to head to class early to see if I can catch Steffie today. I have been missing her for the past few weeks on our Monday meetings because I keep forgetting. BOO to me!

Shame on me

I'm sitting here in the library once again. It is much better than sitting on the hard floor at Brooke's for an hour. You know, I was thinking this morning, and I know absolutely nothing about wordly issues. I am not a wordly person at all. I'm more at home. I know everything that has and will effect me and my family and friends, but nothing else. I'm terrible. I don't watch the news or anything. Politics bore me, and I do feel for people that go through tragedies, but I don't watch them on the news. I read sometimes on the internet, but I don't have much time for that, and when I do, I end up doing something else. Shame on me.

I think lab is going to take the full five hours today, and I'm not too happy about that because I have to go to work tonight, and I need a break already.

I'm tired.

Courageous Women

Today I went to see mommy. I took her all her birthday presents, we went out to eat at Shoneys with Grandma and James, and then we came back to her house and watched "Monster-in-Law" (second time for me). They thought it was cute. I miss being able to see mom whenever. An hour and a half away is longer than it sounds, especially when work and school come into play.

I was thinking today about how amazing my mom and grandma are. My grandma took care of my grandpa for a long time while he was dying of cancer. It takes a very strong person to go through something like that and keep living. He died when I was 6 years old. My mom also endured all of that, and she was married to an awful man for 20 something years. A man who was a terrible alcoholic and would also disappear for days at a time on his drunken sprees. He was never abusive to her or I, but he stole from me, and beat the hell out of my brother on more than one occasion. She finally had the courage to leave. She had enough, and she left. That does take a lot of courage to finally leave knowing that after many years of being with someone, you are going to be alone. My grandma remarried a man that also had a spouse die, and I'm sure my mom will, too. I hope she finds someone that will treat her like a princess and give her everything in life that she deserves. I want her to be so happy, and I know right now has to be very hard for her. Especially now that neither I nor my brother can be there for her on a regular basis. I don't think I could ever be as strong as these two women. I look up to them for their courage.

This next week shouldn't be too awful - no tests and no lab reports. I think I have Thursday and Friday off, so that ought to be very nice although I do not want to work the rest of the days. We'll see how the week goes.