Doodie in a bedpan

Above you will notice a shitload of wasps that Russell found up around our front door. Now, you all know I have a huge phobia of wasps, so Russell got me safely inside, then raided the shit out of them. The only thing we cannot figure out is what there are two different kinds of wasps together. If you notice, most of them look like regular wasps, but a few of them are yellow (but yellow wasps, not yellow jackets). Strange. If you have any info on this, please let me know.

In other news, below you will find evidence of Gunther being caught in a most compromising position. Daddy (Russell) tried to put something on him while he was in the position for www.stuffonmycat.com, but Gunther is too much of an ass to sit still long enough. Apparently, he does not want to be famous.

Job is going great. They have me working a lot of hours right now, but that just means I'm making the big bucks. The ribbon cutting ceremony for the new floor is on September 12th. I haven't had to wipe any butts, yet, but I have had to dip a popsicle stick into some doodie, and flush some doodie down the toilet with the aid of a bidet. It is quite useful in rinsing shit down the commode. But, I have to keep reminding myself that I am getting good experience for nursing, so it's not so bad. I've delt with worse, and I'm the girl that pokes deer guts with a stick and cuts sheep open, so there ya go.

Today this person started pooping before we even got her on top of the bedpan, so the person I was shadowing had to just kind of catch it. Yikes! But they had a laxative, so I will forgive them.

School is also going good. Class is boring as hell. I have orientation for Chestnut Ridge early in the morning.

Wal*Mart sucks

What do you get after putting your life into a place for over 2 years?! Absolutely bubcus. The only thing I heard from the manager giving me my exit interview was "you don't work here anymore". Nice. No "hey Tonya, we're going to miss you" or no "good luck with your new job Tonya". What a bunch of shit.

Well, I say kiss my ass Wal*Mart, and good riddance. I can finally have my sigh of relief.

The Black Dahlia

I must have been pretty damn tired last night because I kept thinking of some terrible things. First off, I heard about the Black Dahlia for the first time. Apparently, they are making a movie about it. How do you make a movie about something like that?? For those of you who don't know (I didn't...I had to look it up), the Black Dahlia is a movie star (Elizabeth Short) that was brutally murdered around 60 years ago, and the murder was never solved. I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares after the pictures I saw. They are so old that you can't see a lot of detail, but you can definitely tell what it is. This woman was found naked, cut in half, skin ripped off on her face and other body parts, and she was sodomized after death (they found grass in her vagina). How do you make a movie about something like that? It's just crazy.

The second thing I was worrying over was Gunther. I know it sounds silly, but how can it be said that animals don't have souls? Gunther is more like a person than a lot of people I know. Russell even caught him having a nightmare yesterday. He was sleeping on my computer chair, and all of the sudden he sat up and hissed. It was cute and funny. If he doesn't have a soul, then how does he dream? So, after thinking about all this, of course it made me think of Gunther dying and not being here anymore, and it made me really sad. I don't know what I'd do without the little butthead. He's my baby.

And yes, I got a little sad about leaving Wal*Mart tonight. Don't judge me. Tomorrow night is my last night working there, and I garantee that I will be a little sad. I mean, this is two years of my life, gone. Two years is a long time to be somewhere and not be affected when you leave it. I will talk more about this after it actually happens.

BYE BYE WAL*MART!

Well, I guess so much is going on that I have to make a post about it...otherwise Andrea might kill me. :)

I GOT MY JOB AT RUBY. I start on August 21st. I am getting to work on a brand spanking new floor that is just now being built. 10 west is going to be a cardiac step-down and ICU floor. Until it is finished, I will be working on 10 east. I have my hospital orientation on Monday (if I don't have clinical that morning), and then the rest of the week, I will be training. I also have to get a new PPD done on Monday which is the TB test where they stick a needle under your skin and make a little bubble, and then you have to come back in 2 days to check it.

Today I had to go do a physical fitness thing at HealthWorks. It was gay and made me feel bad because the woman doing it was tall and thin, and she had to weigh me and have me do things that I could barely do without falling (i.e. squat against the wall for a minute). Stupid stuff like that I will not be doing at Ruby. When in my life am I going to have to squat up against a wall and hold it for a minute in order to take care of a patient? Then, I had to go back to Ruby and pee in a cup for a drug test. The lady wasn't very nice, and then she ordered me to leave the door cracked while I peed in the cup, then I was not aloud to flush the toilet or wash my hands until I brought the pee out for her to seal, then I was aloud to go back in and flush the toilet and wash my hands. Then she actually had to take my blood to test my blood alcohol level. Did I look drunk while I was there?? Oh well. It's done.

Thursday is officially my last day at Wal-Mart. YIPPEEEEEE!!!! Bye bye assholes!

Sloth Foot

This is my sloth foot that I received one day after my nice vacation began. Mom took us to beerun on a picnic, and we decided to walk down to the beach part one more time to jump in real quick before we left. Well, apparently holes follow me because I stepped in one, and there I went. My ankle even cracked real loud. Well, it turns out that when you're in a lot of pain, you don't think about what you say in front of your own mother. I couldn't even remember exactly what I said until Russell reminded me.

"WHO PUT THAT FUCKING HOLE THERE?!...................I'M SORRY!.................MY FOOT HURTS!"

Russell and mom made fun of me the whole way home. The first day was the worst. My foot was the size of a watermelon. The terrible picture that you are seeing is 6 days after the occurence. Imagine what it looked like before. I couldn't walk for that first day without help, and then a few days after that it was touch and go, but then I could get around with a bit of a gimp. Russell's mom called me crip...lovingly of course. His parent's have witnessed plenty of my ankle injuries over the past 7 years. Russell waited on me all week...it was very sweet and nice. Russell's dad even touched my nasty ass foot to wrap it with horse wrap, lol.

Other than that, vacation was good, but way too short. Russell and I got to spend lots of quality time together which was very nice.
We watched "Bench Warmers"...a must see if you want to pee your pants.

Interview went very well. I will update more about that when I know for sure what is going on.