Not the *cough cough* sideburns!!

Rusty made me cut his hair.

Me.

Cut his hair.

With clippers that he bought at Wal-Mart.

Me?

Me!

Why couldn't he have just gotten it done by a professional? He has to be like his mommy and daddy. His mom cuts his dad's hair with clippers, but one time she gave him a bald spot. Does he want a repeat? At least his dad wears hats a lot.


Well, it was going good. I was doing such a good job. I even made the back and the sides shorter than the top. And then....it happened. He wanted me to cut the sideburns.

The sideburns?

Yes. The sideburns.


So, I cut one of the sideburns.......crooked.

I tried.

I failed.

*tear*

I managed to cut it a bit crooked to where the part beside his ear is higher than the front part. He wasn't too happy. Some lady did that to him once, and he was pissed.

*tear*

So, I refused to do the other one. He did it. He should have done that part by hisself to begin with like I told him to. His sideburn looked good. Mine? Not so good. He doesn't want two shitty sideburns, so now he has two uneven sideburns.

This is why I didn't want to cut his hair. Why me? Why now?
I feel really bad.
It doesn't look that bad.
But, I still feel really bad.
At least his sideburn looks good.
I will never do the sideburns again...EVER!


Now maybe I should cut my hair just because I messed his sideburn up.
See, I still look for excuses to do it.
So sad.

*tear*

JUST CUT IT ALREADY

I have to make confetti cupcakes today....*sad face*. I will want to eat them. Well, maybe one. Even though we pigged out this week (Cici's Pizza, IHOP), I still managed to lose 1.2 pounds. Go me! It's coming off slowly, but coming off. So, that's good. I've been thinking for over a year now about cutting my hair off and donating it. I can't believe I've been back and forth on it for a year now. It seems that every time I think I decide to do it, something happens that changes my mind (i.e. I get a compliment, Russell plays with my hair, or something else that makes me feel he likes it long). It would feel so much better to cut it, though. Less weight on my neck, easier to take care of, easier and funner to fix. Long hair is just plain annoying. This is the longest it has ever been. It's down past my waste now...sheesh! I never though it would get this long. I thought my hair stopped growing at a particular point, but I guess not. It's so long now that it's starting to break off at different points, and it at least needs trimmed anyway for split ends, but I feel that I don't want to cut it at all until I decide to actually CUT IT.

OH, did I mention that Russell's the new CSM at Wal-Mart? I think I did, so I won't go into that again. But he's been training, and learning how to run the registers, and it's cute because he'll come home and ask me questions about it. And he also talks about not wanting to learn the service desk. Hehehe. I really don't blame him. It's hard and annoying. They were going to put him there yesterday, but the woman that was over there is full of it, and she would have taught him all the wrong things. It's funny how all the other CSMs agreed...lol.

bad inspection sticker = bad tonya

Anyways, things are going good. I actually have this weekend off for a change. It's nice if I can actually get some stuff done, such as cleaning this dump. I get started, then I just get too lazy and end up doing something else. Next week is my last week of Psychosocial classes. My final is Friday. Then I get to start maternal! YAY! I'm excited, other than the fact that people tell me there isn't much to do, and you're lucky if you get a good experience since there is so many of us, and so few of them at the same time we're there. I guess I'll just have to push my way in. Who knows, it might be something I'm interested in. I always said I wanted to do neonatal, and maternal is kind of a part of that, now isn't it. You can't take care of a baby if someone doesn't pop it out first.

My car is finally scheduled to get fixed next week. This is a good thing because my inspection sticker went bad in August (shhhhh, don't tell), and no one in their right mind would pass inspection for a car that has windshield wipers that don't work and leaks out every drop of power steering fluid that you put into it. But, alas, it will all be over soon.

Rambling.

I was --><-- this close to getting my hair chopped off yesterday. I was trying to get Russell to go with me and get his hair cut, too, but he was wore out from work, so we didn't go. Then, last night I had a dream that I went to go get it cut, and when I felt them chop it off, I started to cry and hyperventilate. Why is this such a big deal to me? It's only hair, and even though it took me over 3 years to get it this long, it's going to benefit someone else more than it will me. I'm just being selfish I guess. And I'm worried that even though my hair was always short before this that I will look funny. I don't know.

Work is going good. They have me working a lot because I already work at least 32 hours, and then they ask me to stay over all the time. I just got my 45 day evaluation yesterday, and apparently I am doing a good job. She gave me superior on some things like teamwork and patient care. It feels good to know that they like it when I'm there (even if it's only because they don't have to do a bunch of extra work when I'm there). The RNs get 3 patients a piece...max. Me? I can have up to 12 patients. Yesterday I had 9, so it was a rough day.

I switch classes in a week and a half. I'm finished with psych (thank God), and I switch to maternal, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Russell and I are itching to make an awesome Halloween village. This year it's all really exciting to me. We've looked on ebay, but it's all that Dept 56 stuff that's like $100 per house or something, so we're going to go to Michael's sometime soon to look around. We're also going to go to Fright Farm on Thursday with some friends from work, so that should be fun.

Oh, and Russell got a CSM (Customer Service Manager) position at the new Wal-Mart. No more Stockman. He'll be over all the cashier's and stockman, so that will be neat. He goes from a payclass 1 to a payclass 6! Yay!! Oh, and we're crossing our fingers for something else, too.

Random pictures from the weekend.

Has anyone ever seen a donkey drink grape pop?













"WOH!"















Russell's niece Kylie took the reigns.















Who's the jackass now?















Russell's mom's face on the tree.















Rusty and his Grandma (her 90th birthday party).















In order: Laura (Russell's sister), Michael (Russell's brother), Kylie, Ross (Russell's dad), Chris (Russell's mom), and Russell.















Russell's other niece, Sydney.















What kind of a face is that?
















For now I am going to bed. I will do an actual update later, ANDREA! Maybe this will hold you until then, lol.

YAY NEW JOB!

Everything is going great. I just had my first 12 1/2 hour shift yesterday, and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Benefits are good; pay is good. The people are nice. The only thing I find as a problem is getting attached to some of my patients. I already fell in love with the cute old man, and it makes me wonder what will happen to him. He was supposed to leave today, so I had to say goodbye to him yesterday, and he wanted a hug, so I gave him one, lol.

It's come to my attention that people do die in the hospital. Two on my floor died over night before I got there. I have to do post mortum care, and I don't know how I feel about that. I haven't done it, yet, but it's obvious that I will run into death soon or later. I'm not sure if I can handle that.

It has also come to my attention that I would rather work 12 1/2 hours wiping butts (I haven't had to do that, yet, though) than to work 5 minutes again at Wal*Mart. I've helped give baths and dispose of doodie, but nothing that bad. I guess I made a good decision then. I picked up my last Wal*Mart paycheck today, and it was pretty substantial since it had all the extra hours for vacation and personal that I had accrued over my employment on it. I get my first paycheck from Ruby today.

I had my first clinical experience at Chestnut Ridge this week. I spent my first day in the adolescent unit playing Egyptian War and ping-pong with 3 adolescent boys. Not bad. They ranged from 13-16 years old. It's not like you'd think it would be. As I've been told, and I now realize, they are just people like you and me, but with some problems. I think the adolescent unit is more about anger management problems, bad family life, and some suicidal.

Doodie in a bedpan

Above you will notice a shitload of wasps that Russell found up around our front door. Now, you all know I have a huge phobia of wasps, so Russell got me safely inside, then raided the shit out of them. The only thing we cannot figure out is what there are two different kinds of wasps together. If you notice, most of them look like regular wasps, but a few of them are yellow (but yellow wasps, not yellow jackets). Strange. If you have any info on this, please let me know.

In other news, below you will find evidence of Gunther being caught in a most compromising position. Daddy (Russell) tried to put something on him while he was in the position for www.stuffonmycat.com, but Gunther is too much of an ass to sit still long enough. Apparently, he does not want to be famous.

Job is going great. They have me working a lot of hours right now, but that just means I'm making the big bucks. The ribbon cutting ceremony for the new floor is on September 12th. I haven't had to wipe any butts, yet, but I have had to dip a popsicle stick into some doodie, and flush some doodie down the toilet with the aid of a bidet. It is quite useful in rinsing shit down the commode. But, I have to keep reminding myself that I am getting good experience for nursing, so it's not so bad. I've delt with worse, and I'm the girl that pokes deer guts with a stick and cuts sheep open, so there ya go.

Today this person started pooping before we even got her on top of the bedpan, so the person I was shadowing had to just kind of catch it. Yikes! But they had a laxative, so I will forgive them.

School is also going good. Class is boring as hell. I have orientation for Chestnut Ridge early in the morning.

Wal*Mart sucks

What do you get after putting your life into a place for over 2 years?! Absolutely bubcus. The only thing I heard from the manager giving me my exit interview was "you don't work here anymore". Nice. No "hey Tonya, we're going to miss you" or no "good luck with your new job Tonya". What a bunch of shit.

Well, I say kiss my ass Wal*Mart, and good riddance. I can finally have my sigh of relief.

The Black Dahlia

I must have been pretty damn tired last night because I kept thinking of some terrible things. First off, I heard about the Black Dahlia for the first time. Apparently, they are making a movie about it. How do you make a movie about something like that?? For those of you who don't know (I didn't...I had to look it up), the Black Dahlia is a movie star (Elizabeth Short) that was brutally murdered around 60 years ago, and the murder was never solved. I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares after the pictures I saw. They are so old that you can't see a lot of detail, but you can definitely tell what it is. This woman was found naked, cut in half, skin ripped off on her face and other body parts, and she was sodomized after death (they found grass in her vagina). How do you make a movie about something like that? It's just crazy.

The second thing I was worrying over was Gunther. I know it sounds silly, but how can it be said that animals don't have souls? Gunther is more like a person than a lot of people I know. Russell even caught him having a nightmare yesterday. He was sleeping on my computer chair, and all of the sudden he sat up and hissed. It was cute and funny. If he doesn't have a soul, then how does he dream? So, after thinking about all this, of course it made me think of Gunther dying and not being here anymore, and it made me really sad. I don't know what I'd do without the little butthead. He's my baby.

And yes, I got a little sad about leaving Wal*Mart tonight. Don't judge me. Tomorrow night is my last night working there, and I garantee that I will be a little sad. I mean, this is two years of my life, gone. Two years is a long time to be somewhere and not be affected when you leave it. I will talk more about this after it actually happens.

BYE BYE WAL*MART!

Well, I guess so much is going on that I have to make a post about it...otherwise Andrea might kill me. :)

I GOT MY JOB AT RUBY. I start on August 21st. I am getting to work on a brand spanking new floor that is just now being built. 10 west is going to be a cardiac step-down and ICU floor. Until it is finished, I will be working on 10 east. I have my hospital orientation on Monday (if I don't have clinical that morning), and then the rest of the week, I will be training. I also have to get a new PPD done on Monday which is the TB test where they stick a needle under your skin and make a little bubble, and then you have to come back in 2 days to check it.

Today I had to go do a physical fitness thing at HealthWorks. It was gay and made me feel bad because the woman doing it was tall and thin, and she had to weigh me and have me do things that I could barely do without falling (i.e. squat against the wall for a minute). Stupid stuff like that I will not be doing at Ruby. When in my life am I going to have to squat up against a wall and hold it for a minute in order to take care of a patient? Then, I had to go back to Ruby and pee in a cup for a drug test. The lady wasn't very nice, and then she ordered me to leave the door cracked while I peed in the cup, then I was not aloud to flush the toilet or wash my hands until I brought the pee out for her to seal, then I was aloud to go back in and flush the toilet and wash my hands. Then she actually had to take my blood to test my blood alcohol level. Did I look drunk while I was there?? Oh well. It's done.

Thursday is officially my last day at Wal-Mart. YIPPEEEEEE!!!! Bye bye assholes!

Sloth Foot

This is my sloth foot that I received one day after my nice vacation began. Mom took us to beerun on a picnic, and we decided to walk down to the beach part one more time to jump in real quick before we left. Well, apparently holes follow me because I stepped in one, and there I went. My ankle even cracked real loud. Well, it turns out that when you're in a lot of pain, you don't think about what you say in front of your own mother. I couldn't even remember exactly what I said until Russell reminded me.

"WHO PUT THAT FUCKING HOLE THERE?!...................I'M SORRY!.................MY FOOT HURTS!"

Russell and mom made fun of me the whole way home. The first day was the worst. My foot was the size of a watermelon. The terrible picture that you are seeing is 6 days after the occurence. Imagine what it looked like before. I couldn't walk for that first day without help, and then a few days after that it was touch and go, but then I could get around with a bit of a gimp. Russell's mom called me crip...lovingly of course. His parent's have witnessed plenty of my ankle injuries over the past 7 years. Russell waited on me all week...it was very sweet and nice. Russell's dad even touched my nasty ass foot to wrap it with horse wrap, lol.

Other than that, vacation was good, but way too short. Russell and I got to spend lots of quality time together which was very nice.
We watched "Bench Warmers"...a must see if you want to pee your pants.

Interview went very well. I will update more about that when I know for sure what is going on.

I pierced my first ear! It was a one month old baby girl. It was actually kinda fun...until she woke up and started crying. :(

Beating me down down into the ground.

So, today I finally got my phone call....
I have a scheduled interview for Ruby Memorial Hospital on August 2nd at 1:00pm. Ya know, it's funny. You want something so bad, and when you get it, you wonder if it's what you really want. I guess that just shows how fickle people are. I know it's going to be good experience for me, and it pays good, good benifits, and they help pay for my schooling, but it's going to be a lot of hard work. It will be worth it, though.

I'm already going through a point where I wonder if this is what I am meant to do. Is this right for me? Maybe it has to do with something that happened that pissed me off, but I'm being shaken, and it shouldn't be that easy to shake me at this point. Although, I'm still new and learning, so maybe this is normal for what I'm going through. One more week. I can handle that, right? I've already finished my health assessment class with an A, but it seems like my clinicals is nothing by subjective grading, so I wonder if I've sucked up enough for an A? I know I've been doing well, and I'm competent, but does that deserve an A? This shit is so hard. They expect a lot out of you. Although, I do have more good news. They decided to waive my Ethics writing course since I've already had one, so now I can concentrate on my main class with clinical. Grats to me.

Is it sad that I'm excited for Fall to start? It's not that I don't love summer, but this is not a summer for me. It's miserable hot weather accompanied by class with no vacation and no fun time. We do have a vacation coming up, but who knows if we'll get to do anything fun. I'd like to rent a boat or go camping, but who knows on that one.

Oh, our electric bill was $465!! For two months!! We found the problem...hot water tank with bad thermostat that constantly ran without ever shutting off. That makes for one nasty bill. It's unfortunate that we couldn't have caught it before the bill, but you live and learn. It's fixed, and hopefully the bill will go down.

This clock never seemed so alive.

Things are going good. School is so close to being over that it's scary. There is no way that I have had enough experience in order to be competent to take my skills exam. They give us a scenario, and we have to be able to prioritize the care for our patient which is a simulation dummy that cost over $10,000. Fun.

Clinicals have been such a learning experience, though. I had this older man who was really confused. He had a bunch of dressings on his abdomen that needed changed, so I got to see what an infected wound looked like. Gross, I know, but I loved it.

We had such a good time on the 4th. Andrea, Laura, and Seese all came over, and we had some yummy food, watched some good movies, had some good conversations, and fun with snakes and sparklers. My friend Sammy and her fiancee came over sometime later for a little while. I'm having a blast spending more time with Andi and Seese. We're going to start a walking and swimming program for weight loss fun. Russell, me, and Andrea are going to the Olive Garden tomorrow and then going to watch "Pirates of the Carribean". Should be a good time. We tried to convince Seese to call off work so she could come, too, but to no avail.

Gunther is his same loving self. He's still running back and forth through the trailer. That's kitty exercise for you. He also had a good time at the party.

I get to go watch surgery in the operating room this week. I even get to pick what kind of surgery I want to see, and I may even get to do a catheter on someone while they're knocked out. Good times.

I smashed a bug on my computer screen days ago and it's still there.

Speaking of bugs, I found a big black centipede on our bathroom floor yesterday. I squished it, then I left it on top of the toilet to show Russell what I found, forgot about it, then when I came home from work, it was gone. Either I did not kill it, and it escaped, or Gunther found it and ate it for extra protein. He eats ants, so why not centipedes? We assume that is how he survived in the wild...by finding ant hills and eating them.

I will leave you with the cutest picture ever, taken by Laura.














(Gunther a.k.a. Mr. Gunphy Gunphersons)

Beach wedding pics

Oh, and I wanted to post a couple of pics of Russell's mommy and daddy's renewal of their vows. They're so cute!
This was their awesome cake that Russell's aunt Norma made.

Kissy face.

All the girls wanted to make sure that granny's dress didn't get dirty because all of them claimed it for when they get married.

This is the happy couple with all of the nieces and nephews (minus one niece) + Russell's brother Steve holding the rowdy one. Logan (the one crossing her arms) had a big crush on Russell this week although she tried to deny it. It didn't help telling her older sister who is a tattle tale...lol.

Damn dirty bees

BTW, the carpenter bees have went from making small holes the size of their body, to this.....















And this....















And those aren't the only two. There are many more just like that. Some even bigger, but I didn't feel like walking out in the grass to take the pics.

It makes me cherish the memories where we killed 60 of the bastards with our fly swatters. Mmmmemories.

Bathroom poetry

So much has been going on. I finally got to go get Russell on Saturday night. It was a nice reunion. *wink wink* I missed it so much, and it was so nice to have him sleeping next to me again. Gunther has a pretty bad cold. All he has been doing is sneezing his head off since Russell left, and once he even sneezed right in my face. Thanks Gunther. Russell finished a whole book while he was gone. You can tell he didn't have much to do...lol. He had a good time, though. The first thing his mother said to me when I saw them was "I am never taking him anywhere without you again!" Hehehe. Apparently I was missed. *insert awwws here*

I had my first patient with a partner last week. I get my very own this week. I'm kinda nervous, but very excited at the same time.

I had to miss my Ohio reunion this year because it was this past Saturday when I had to pick Russell up. I was told that my great grandma likes to make up her own poems and rhymes now. I will share one with you that I recently was told. My aunt Sharon took her to the bathroom, and while she was sitting on the toilet, she made up this one:

I stink, I stink
Alas, Alas
I smell like a skunk's ass

I think I almost pissed my pants. Yes, she is becoming a little delirious, but I still love her.

Mr. not-so-know-it-all

It's nice to know that one of your Nurse Practitioner instructors gets his information wrong...

We were learning about gastrostomy tubes (the ones that go through the skin on your tummy into your stomach) and nasogastric tubes (the ones that go through your nose down into your stomach). Well, in order to check placement of the tube before you begin feedings or right after the NG tube was placed, you have to 2 of 3 possible things: insert 30cc of air into the tube and listen for air bubbles with your stethoscope, pull out gastric juices to check color, and use a pH meter to test the gastric juices to see if it came from the stomach or small intestine. Our one instructor told us that Ruby does not use pH meters, so we were to do the bubble test and look at the color of the gastric juices even though most hospitals do not like using the bubble test due to error of checking placement when the air bubbles you're hearing could be bowel sounds. We all thought this was pretty dumb of such a great hospital. Well, it turns out, he was incredibly wrong, and Ruby does infact use pH strips now. What a way to confuse me.

Today we did our unit orientation at the hospital. I am on 7East which is a medsurg unit. A lot of the people on my floor will be older. However, I will get to see and do a good variety of things on that floor. We found out today we get to have partners for our first patient which relieves some of my anxiety. I will try to keep all of you informed of some of the experiences that I have, but it will have to be random because of HIPAA compliance and patient confidentiality.

Orientations never end

Tomorrow I have my unit orientation at the hospital. I won't have any patients, but we will be going through everything so we know what we're doing next week. I don't like the fact that my orientation day is on the devil's day 6/6/06...hmph.

Russell's leaving me next week.
Haven't decided how much of a breakdown I'm going to have, yet.
5 whole days.
And the knowledge that he will be flying on an airplane.
I think I might have a minibreakdown right now.

How is this fair that I don't get to go? I work my ass off, and no vacation for me.
Other than the fact that we're going to go to Kennywood this weekend for our 2 year anniversary. I don't think that counts, does it? One day at an amusement park? It will be mucho fun, though. I'm looking forward to it. Maybe while I'm on a rollercoaster, I will figure out what life is all about and everything that I'm supposed to know about taking care of another human being will just snap. Or maybe it will be my leg.

Arrrggghhh! My head shall explode.

Sorry. Things have been so hectic lately, so anytime I think I feel like updating, I end up just getting annoyed with it, so I don't. I learned A LOT this week. They're jamming way to much info into 3 weeks that I don't feel like I'm going to know what I'm doing when I start clinicals in a week. We learned things like folley catheters, Nasogastric tubes (that ones that go through your nose down to your stomach), blood pressure and other vital signs, ostomy bags, removing impactions (with your finger...*shiver*), enemas (yes, I said enemas, Dawn), bathing, brushing teeth, moving patients, range of motion exercises, changing the bed sheets with the patient still in the bed, and much more. That's only two days of stuff. I had another test this week. I got a 100% the first week, and an 88% this week. Not bad, but some of the questions just seemed like it could be more than one thing. I guess that's true for nursing though....there is always something you could do differently whether it's the best possible way or not. Everyone needs to come over so I can practice taking blood pressures.

Oh, birthday was good. Mom just came over yesterday and brought me a crap load of gifts for birthday, graduation, and our anniversary. She's too good to me. I don't get to see her nearly enough. But, I made her and Russell dinner, and we watched a movie, but then she had to leave. She got me a lot of scrapbooking stuff, and a mother/daughter bracelet, some stuffed piggies, earrings and a necklace that match (they have leaves on them), and she got me this awesome pitcher/glasses set that I really wanted from the ABC catalog. She's the best mommy in the world. :)

Well, I guess that's enough for now. I will update more another time when I'm not super busy.