NEW HOUSE PICS!

I promised you pics, and here they are!! There is so much more to see, but this is a good start.

This is the loft. Notice the huge primitive hangings on the wall.

View down into the living room. Gas fireplace.

Loft area.

Kitchen with beautiful stove. Hope she leaves it! lol

Another pic of the kitchen. The sliding door leads into a walk-in pantry.

Dining room. Sliding glass door leads to the back deck.

Guest bedroom.

Another pic of the guest bedroom.

I think this is the first floor bathroom.

Hallway.

Hallway and area beside laundry.

Primitive wallpaper in master bedroom!

Master bedroom with huge skylight. Love the colors!

Front porch.

House on right, office on left. Notice how they hook together so you can walk from one to the other.

Front porch.

Front door.

Front door from the inside.

Living room, kitchen, dining room.

Living room/Dining room.

Stairs and loft.

Stairs.

I cannot wait to live here!

MOVING!!!!

Rusty and I are moving! We don't know when exactly, yet, but it will most likely be October or before depending on when the people are able to find a new house. Faith Mountain is a non-profit retreat for non-denominational ministries. These people decided to sell the place because they wanted to move back to Ohio which was closer to their family, but they wanted whoever bought the place to provide the same purpose as they do now. They are selling the whole 250 acres and all the buildings and furnishings in the cabins for the price of just their home (pictured above). Russell's mom fell in love with the place, and she wants Russell to run the whole thing, which means we will be living in that gorgeous house in Rosedale, WV. She has so many ideas of what to do with the place. The house is only like 12 years old, and it is gorgeous inside in out. I don't have any other pictures at the moment, but I'm supposed to be getting some through email in the next day or two, so I will definitely post a bunch of pictures. The pond pictured above is around 2.5 acres (so actually considered a lake), and has a side dock and a floating dock. We're planning on making a sandy beach area, and it is stocked with many fish. There are 3 cottages to rent and a large cedar house. There are hiking trails, and the whole place is just perfect. All of our bills are going to be paid for, and Russell will be making a salary. We're already looking for a new puppy (Russell wants an Australian Shepherd). We are so excited, and I cannot wait to move!! I'm not too happy about having to drive a good ways for employment, and it will take a lot of getting used to not having anything I would want within a 15 minute drive, lol. AKA WALMART!!!! The house also has a whirltub and a gas fireplace. It has 2 large bedrooms, a loft, and 2 full bathrooms. The master bedroom has a huge skylight above the bed!! There is also a large office with a sink and stove hookup, an extra room, and a full bathroom adjoining the house. It has a front porch and a deck on the back. There is a gorgeous view from every window. There is a two car garage, a basement with a pool table that they are leaving...and the basement has a kitchen area, laundry room, and another full bathroom. So that is four full bathrooms altogether lol. A lot of toilets to scrub. There is a fire pit in the front yard. A laundry room on the first floor. A kitchen and dining room area with a huge walk-in pantry! The master bedroom has primitive wallpaper which I am extremely in love with and have always wanted to decorate in, and she has huge primitive artwork on the walls that she may be leaving. She is a fabulous decorator. The whole house has fantastic hardwood floors (GREAT for cleaning and Russell's allergies!!). We've already been looking for new furniture to buy! We want new living room furniture, huge front loader washer and dryer (I'm trying to talk Russell into getting me Electrolux! in red or turquoise depending on color of the wallpaper which I think is a maroony color)(also I think we can get this stuff tax exempt since it is nonprofit), and a whole bedroom set (hopfully a king size bed with headboard and footer, chest of drawers, another set of drawers with a large mirror, and bedside tables. I also have my hope chest but not sure where I'm going to put it, yet. We may also need a new fridge and a stove if they take theirs (the stove is old fashioned, really expensive, and she may be leaving it since it is so wide). It looks kinda like below, but is all white.


Check out the website and tell me what you guys think. As soon as we get moved in and settled, you're all invited to come over and play!! I'll actually have to keep this place clean! So I'm going to go ahead and start packing up things here we won't need and get rid of a bunch of stuff so it's not chaos when we do move. As soon as we get pictures, we're going to start buying furniture I think...we're going to be storing it in Russell's mom and dad's house in Frametown until we get to move. We're going to have well water which I will also have to get used to being a city girl. We are so lucky and blessed. I guess I will have to watch my foul mouth and stop saying the "F" word all the time since we will be around church people a lot, lol. And pron will have to be limited HAHAHA! I also want a treadmill in the basement....I hope they will leave theirs!! lol

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked down at my finger today, and I saw a big dent in the side of it. I almost started freaking out and thinking of why the hell I would have a dent in my finger. Well, it turns out that instead of writing with my finger in the air like it has been habit for me lately, I wrote like I normally do which created a dent mark in the side of my ring finger!! I wrote normal and didn't even realize it. Awesome!

My first physical therapy appointment is next Wednesday. I hope it goes well. Here's to bending my finger normally!!!

Itchy gitchy yaya dada.

I spend waaaaay too much money. I know this, and yet I still go and buy buy buy. Like today for example, I went to Sams and Walmart for some grocery goodness. Did I really need to buy a 4 pack of chlorox wipes? Did I really need a 20 pack of swiffer replacements? No. But I buy anyway. Maybe because I can. We never had money to just spend in my family. It was always coupons, sales, and scrimping. We didn't just buy things whenever we wanted to. That probably had mostly to do with the fact that my dad drank and gambled all our money away, but it's not like we were rich to begin with. It's nice to be able to buy whatever you want whenever you want it. This might get me into trouble one of these days, but for now I am enjoying it. Maybe I should just enjoy it a little less.

I'm getting more into photographs and decorating. I've bought more picture frames, and it's nice to have a new multipurpose printer that scans, copies, prints, faxes, and whatnot because I can print off any photo I want. Mom is also sending me some old photos of family members like my great grandma and grandpa at a young age, etc. They're old black and white photos that she had at the reunion, and she asked me if I wanted copies of them, so I figured that I could get a collage frame and put them in there.

I'm also getting rid of a whole bunch of shit. This is ridiculous how much crap we have that has been here that we haven't even touched or laid eyes on since we moved here. Gotta go. So far I have 5 garbage bags full of junk....and that's just from clothes and some stuff out of the guest bedroom. I haven't even finished that room, and I have even dared touch the office, yet. That is going to be a lot of shit. We still have a whole box full of the playstation ONE and bunches of copied games. How long do you think it's been since we've even played it?? AT LEAST 5 years or more. Gone.

Massive updates and such

Since I haven't posted since forever and a day, I thought would give it a go. The finger is healing quite nicely. I do have a nice deep scar that you can definitely see and feel. The tip of my finger does not bend, but I'm supposed to start physical therapy on it. I think it's mostly due to all the scar tissue, not bending it for so long, and all the tendons and ligament healing tight. I got the splint off last week, and let me tell you that it is heavenly to not have to wear it. I'm supposed to wear it when I sleep, but I haven't been because I'm a bad girl. So let's hope that the finger can get back to normal because I'm tired of having sloth finger.

I started back to work last week. It is definitely hard to go from being off for a whole month to getting up at 4am again. Not fun. But work is okay so far. Still trying to get used to putting IVs in and such since I don't have much experience with that. It makes me nervous, but I'm still trying to make myself just get in there and do it.

We went to Ohio this past weekend for our family reunion. It's been so long since I got to go. I missed everyone, and it was good to see them. It will never be the same without my great grandma and grandpa there, but it's still nice. Got lots of good yummy food. Got to go hang out with a bunch of funny drunks. Some of my favorite quotes from the weekend:

"I just stuck my ass right up to that fan and farted." -my cousin Andy's boyfriend drunk as a skunk...he also mentioned playing "covered wagon" lol
"Well that son of a bitch just popped right in there and right back out!" -my great uncle Carson during a game of throw the washer in the hole (lol I don't know the real name for it, but it's fun as hell)

We had a great time and a lot of good laughs. I'll post some pics of my family when mom sends them to me. We also played a rendition of an auction where we buy tickets 6 for $5 and you put the tickets in a bag under the item you want, and then they draw names for that item. Well someone brought one of my great grandma's quilts, and I was hell bent on taking it home with me. We all know my weird and twisted fascination with blankets, and of course it is one made by the hands of my great grandma which makes it extra special, so I put like 18 tickets in that bag alone, lol. AND I WON IT. I was so excited. I thought for sure that luck would not be on my side and someone that put one ticket in there would have gotten it, but I did. And it still smelled like her house. I'm actually going to put this one to use unlike all the others that are in a space saver bag in the closet for safe keeping.

Some books that I have been reading...


I love Charlaine Harris books!! Her most famous is of course Sookie Stackhouse, but she is such a great writer. The Lily Bard series above starts out slow but I thought each book got better and better. There are five books total, and I really recommend reading them.

I also just started My Sister's Keeper which is an excellent story so far. I'm not even half way through, but I really look forward to reading the rest. And I definitely want to see the movie to see how it compares to the book.


I had also been playing a lot of DS since Russell bought it for me for my birthday. I sat for hours on end playing Viva Pinata. Awesome game. Even as I sit here typing, I am thinking about starting a new game and playing it all over, but Russell seems to think I should try something new, lol. They need to come out with another one.

Sloth finger??

I started my new job last week. They gave me a GREAT mentor named Mary. She is so sweet and very patient. I pretty much just followed her around and did some little things on the first day. My second day I got to do a little more hands-on. I put in a couple of IVs, and it seemed to be going well. I'm very nervous about doing so many IVs because I don't have a whole lot of experience with that coming from the ICU since most people already had a line in place.

So apparently I am told that I have the worst luck ever, and I am a very clumsy person. I'm always doing something to hurt myself...twisting ankles, stubbing toes, splinters, bumps, bruises, scratches. You name it, I do it, lol. My second day of work, and my coworkers already know I'm the clutz-girl. I go and get my finger shut in an automatic door that I pound on and still won't open. I had to yell for someone to come stand in front of the sensor just to get my finger out. Before I knew it, I had 20 people standing around me and blood dripping everywhere. They wheeled me down to the ER where I spent 5 hours of my day. They called Russell for me, but they only told him that I mashed my fingers some and was in the ER not to freak him out. So he showed up, and I showed him this.....






I think his mouth dropped open a bit. I really don't think he expected it to be that bad since as stated before I hurt myself a lot. So they said they had to start IV antiobiotics since the door was so dirty, and I had an open wound (see picture with dirt all over fingers...don't they clean?!). I told the guy right away that his best bet would be to go for the hand since my veins suck. Of course he didn't listen, and I ened up with two blown veins before he finally got one in my HAND. I still have a huge bruise on my arm. They gave me the IV antibiotics, I had many x-rays, and then they gave me Morphine. I do not wish this on anyone. I instantly wanted to puke, and my legs started to tingle and went numb. Yuck. And then the mean resident came back with her big needle. She did a full block on my finger which means the whole finger was numbed. This was the worst pain I have ever felt. Let me tell you, I almost could have left the finger crooked. I could feel the needle hitting the back side of my finger, and it was not pleasant. After that she popped my finger back into place, and Russell said it sounded like taking the cap off a snapple. Then they meticulously washed the wound and made it bleed to get all the nasties out of it. Then she stitched me up, bandaged and splinted the finger, and I finally got to go home and SLEEP. I've been having to take 4 antibiotics a day. I'm off work for at least 2 weeks while the wound heals, and then they will take my stitched out and let me know if I can go back to work or not. I would say if I do go back then that I will probably be on light duty since I have to wear this splint for 6 weeks, and I'm not supposed to be getting the finger wet or lifting any weight with this hand (although that's kinda impossible unless I want to sit on the couch and not move for 6 weeks). I'm ready for the stitches to be out now. My finger is still blue, and it itches like crazy. Still no signs of infection, so that is a relief. I thought for sure I would end up with MRSA. But at least I don't have to have surgery. The orthopedic surgeon said the tendons still seemed to be intact, and that I should regain full range of motion of the finger after some time. Good news! The wound seems to be healing pretty well.

And yes, my long ass vacation is coming up soon, and we're planning on going camping for some of it, and visiting home some as well. I'm excited! Also, I need to go swimming bad. They need to open the damn pool up around here. Well, I'm off to go watch more True Blood. Best. Show. Ever!

What's the deal with my brain. Why am I so obviously insane.

I love that song.

Anyway, big changes coming. I accepted a new job in the pre/post anesthesia care unit...aka before and after surgery. My last day in the ICU is May 14, and I'm actually sad at the moment. I'm sure if I had a really bad day there...again...that my mind would change pretty quick, BUT as of right now I'm sad. I like most of the people I work with and it seems that I am just now feeling like people like having me around. For this, I will miss the ICU. I think I will also miss doing a few other things like changing nasty wound dressings (lmao, I know I am gross) and things like that. But I will not miss feeling like the bottom is always going to drop out. Who knows, the stress for me may be just as bad in the new place, but then it's just time to keep looking because I am totally done with this stressful unhappiness that I have been carrying around for so long. I am too young to be bitter, yet I am. I'm ready to be care-free, happy, and loving life. I'm still not there, but I am working on it. I may be able to blame my problems on someone else like some would say I have the right to do. A stress-filled childhood a lot of times leads to a stressful life. Maybe this is why I am a "chronic worrier" or always waiting for that bottom to drop out because that is what I learned. That is me apparently. But I'm through with it. I don't blame anyone but myself. I allow myself to be this way, and now I'm trying to reverse it. It's not an easy process, but I'm working on it. Let's hope this job is the change I am looking for.

In other news, I am totally ready to go camping! I want to go so bad. I'm ready for campfires with Rusty and me cuddling in our tent with our books! It's so relaxing and care free (until the huge storm comes and we're trying not to let our butts touch the ground so we don't get struck by lightening! lol). Oh and this time we're going to plan a little better so our coolers don't get attacked by ricky raccoon who feels the need to open the cooler and sit in it. Maybe his butt was hot or something. Maybe we can go for my birthday!! Unfortunately it always seems to rain on my birthday, plus I am owed a trip to red lobster.

What the hell do I want? Surely that's an easy question. I want to be free from all this bullshit. I don't want to have to go to work today. It's not healthy to sit here and just worry about the fact that you HAVE to go into work today. I was hoping this change would come sooner, but it looks like they're dragging out the process.

*Cross your fingers* Job change in the near future.

I just realized where my unnatural obsession with freezer pops comes from.

THE SUTTON POOL where I would ride my bike to and from every day of the summer!!

I had such a nice tan in those days.

Something to make you smile.

Today is the first day I've had in a REALLY long time at work where I actually enjoyed myself and was happy. Now don't expect this is a big change for me, and that it's going to be like this from now on because it was just a one day thing, but it was great. And I think I even did a little happy dance.

My patient was really sick. He was in a coma and not responding at all except to painful stimuli (i.e. if you pinched him, he would pull away from it). He wouldn't even open his eyes. This patient had a huge family, and when I say huge, I mean I had never seen a family this big before. It was awesome to see so many people loving and supporting him. They were at his bedside almost the whole day (probably 20 different people in one day).

One of his doctors came in to talk to the family today, and he bluntly told them that he thought he was doing terrible, and that it was his opinion that he would never wake up. In my experience, this conversation was completely premature. I have seen people that just needed a couple days, and when they were ready, they would wake up. The family was distraught all day, and they continually asked my opinion. I told them how I really felt which was that it really could go either way and he just might not wake up, but sometimes people just needed time to heal and rest, and that shutting down was their way of doing that. I told them that I felt it was too early to be losing faith and hope. I think they appreciated me being honest, yet still giving them something to cling to.

This is the most that I have ever hoped that someone I didn't even know would just wake up and be okay. I tried every hour and assessed him every hour, and he still showed no improvement.

The wife spent some time alone in his room, and I could hear her outside of the room yelling at him in tears to "WAKE UP! OPEN YOUR EYES! THIS ISN'T FAIR! WAKE UP AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!!" I almost cried myself.

One hour before my shift is over, and I once again go in to do my hourly neuro check. All of the sudden he opens his eyes. I got so excited, but thought for sure that he still wouldn't understand me. Sure enough, I asked him to squeeze my hands, and he did. Well, that had to just be a reflex. I told him to wiggle his toes, and he did just a little. It's a coincidence...he isn't really following commands. I asked him to hold up two fingers......he did. OMG! He's awake!! I was so ecstatic, and I just couldn't believe it. If any family deserved it, they sure did. I wanted so bad to give them the good news, but unfortunately they all left to have dinner! UGH! I looked at him, and I said "You're wife is going to be so happy that you're awake!!!"

And he smiled at me.

Computer vs. 1 less day of work = ??

Well, I would really like a new laptop that can play games, BUT I also want to work less, lol. I obviously can't do both since this laptop is like $1000. I don't need the computer. But I kinda want it. Damn double standards.

We've gone and made such fools of ourselves.

Fresh warm air makes me a happy girl. I'm loving this weather. It definitely helps make me feel better. What doesn't make me feel better???

The fact that you can't trust your life to the hospital. You're really sick, and they give you some fluid and send you packing with a prescription for pain meds...
What is wrong with this picture? The fact that the next day you come back to that very same hospital and die. Why has this happened too many times now? Have we not figured out that apparently people are getting meningitis? Is it that the residents are too stupid to pick it up, and the fellow doesn't pay attention to their residents? Is it that we just don't care? You'd think someone coming in with classic signs of meningitis would get a little more than some fluid and pain killers. Hmm, how about some prophylactic antibiotics until we get some test results? How about doing any tests at all? The fact that you would still be alive right now if they just would have given you an antibiotic...bothers me too much seeing as though I didn't even know you.

I cannot stress this enough - your doctor doesn't know everything. Hospitals aren't perfect. Googling your symptoms is not a terrible idea. At least then you'd have an idea what to bring to the table.
If you have flu-like symptoms, headache, stiff neck/neck pain, high fever...MAKE THEM GIVE YOU ANTIBIOTICS! Don't let them send you home with "now drink plenty of fluids and take some tylenol for that headache and high ass fever". Make them do some tests for meningitis. You may not find out right away, but taking that antibiotic could save your life, and it's certainly not going to kill you to take an antibiotic and then find out you really did just have the flu....but having bacterial Meningitis and not taking an antibiotic WILL. I don't care how old or healthy you may be, it will kill you.

I'm done with today's lesson. I don't want to scare anyone because it is very unlikely you will even get it, BUT a teenager just lost their life to it, so don't think it cannot happen to you.


So anyway, we're hitting the ol' zombie mall for some yummy chinese today, and then I'm taking my Rusty to see "The Watchmen". He's uber excited, and I am too. I am so thankful to have today off work. I'm going to try to start enjoying my free days more, and stop analyzing and worrying about work to where my days off are nothing. I want to get better at this, but it's just so hard. When things like above happen, it makes me never want to step inside a hospital again. I'm more likely than any of you to get these things because I'm around it all the time. And here I go thinking about work again. Ok, enough of that.

I'm looking more into making a quilt, and I WILL finish the damn thing (even though Russell and Andrea both think I won't, lol). I haven't decided all the details, but when I do, I will have my blankie!!

And I want to go back to the wow factory. Being crafty makes me a happy girl. And I like being a happy girl.

I need a tattoo now. I am having a hard time picking one that I want. I want something that means something to me personally, but no luck. Anyone with any ideas? Maybe you guys know me better than I know myself.

Oh, in better news that I forgot to share. We are definitely going to Anaheim, CA this August. We are booked and ready to go. I'm already making a list of things I need to buy, lol....luggage labels, beach towels, etc. But I'm still in a funky mood, so I'll post more details and giddiness about the vacation later.

When are things going to get better? I don't know how much longer I can handle this without completely losing it. I've been scared all day today. I can't even function at home as much as I should be because of it. I know I'm behind on homework and housework. The house is a wreck. I have class stuff due that's not done. There's clean and dirty laundry all over the floor. You can't even walk in the bedroom without stepping on something. Same with the office. I have a pot with spaghetti in it that's been sitting there for over a week, and now when I look at it I can't even make myself clean it because I know I'm going to barf. You're not supposed to live like this. I try so hard to be happy when not at work, but I feel like all my free time is wasted by thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking of stupid trivial shit. I'm trying so hard to move on, but so far no one wants me. You'd think that I would be a great grab with getting my Masters, but apparently they bypass me because they know I will not be there long term. I had a dream job lined up. They thought I was perfect for the job....other than the fact that I am bettering myself and would have to leave after a couple of years. This is not fair. I need to go somewhere boring. I need boring.

Wowsers!

So we finally got to go to the wow factory. It was awesome! They have so much you can do there. I think I will definitely go broke because of it. Russell painted a nice cereal bowl, I painted a coffee mug, and Andrea painted a pretty vase. They also offer many other things there including mosaics which I definitely want to try. It's been a while since I've been crafty, and I really missed it. It's time I start something again. I've thought about making a quilt or starting out with quilted pillows to get practice before I start out on a full quilt, but I'm not sure yet. I also really enjoyed painting...maybe there is something there, although I have no experience with it at all!

This is one of the many shelves they have with items you can paint. Don't forget not to touch items without washing your hands like I did. lol
This is our finish products along with our mess.
Andrea's pretty vase!
My hubby wubby painting his cereal bowl that he is excited to use!
I want my coffee mug so I can drink out of it sooooo bad!!

We couldn't decide if Russell's art was actually clouds or man gravy!! LOL

I'm kinda eh right now. Not sure how to get out of my funk. Maybe I should explain more. I cannot at all whatsoever get into my classes. I hate listening to it, and I have no gumption to do any work. I feel terrible about it because mostly I feel like it's becoming obvious to them that I'm slacking.

I'm also wanting to do something crafty right now. I want to start quilting, but 1) I would have to put a lot of money into it and 2) I know it's going to be one of those things I start and throw to the side. Seems like a waste. So I probably won't do anything. Because I am lazy.

Also, I am a very sad person because I got all giddy about buying clinique stuff and getting free stuff, too. If you like clinique go now for the free gift with purchase!

Epiphany Shmiphany

My desktop computer is dead. Thankfully I still have this POS laptop that is too slow, but I'm not sure what
I'm going to do. The little power light comes on, but the computer does nothing. It worked last night...

But in better news I got a new phone. We switched over to AT&T and payed the early contract thing for US Cellular. It's a Pantech Matrix slide phone. I uber like it so far. I love spending money. I guess that means that I do need to keep my job after all since I like to spend money so much. I might even buy myself a new iPod. Man, I am totally spoiled.

So, anyway, last night (after taking my ambien of course), I was laying in bed, and I was so out of it that I had to put my book down because all the words were starting to blur. I turned off the light, lay there for a few minutes, and then I had an actual light bulb ding over my head. I had an actual epiphany. I needed something to write it down on right away. I jumped out of bed, stumbled into the living room dizzily and almost falling down a few times, and I ran across my old journal. I did my best to read what I had written in previous years, and then I started writing. It turns out that I had taken too long and lost it. I thought I had all the answers in the world on how to be happy. Ambien does that for you apparently. I decided that I would write anyway, and maybe it would come back to me. I had completely forgotten about all this until I saw my journal laying in the bedroom floor today. I read what I wrote, and there is no epiphany whatsoever. Mostly scribbles with some stuff I want to buy and a few things I already knew...such as knowledge is the answer to having no fear, lol. I haven't had this kind of reaction to my ambien since the first time I took it. Maybe I accidentally took 2 or something. Maybe I will have a real epiphany tonight (or get it on paper before I lose it). I kept my journal beside my bed just in case!! lol

Snickles in the HooHaa.

Not sure what the title means, but I get that phrase stuck in my head all the time now ever since the first time I took ambien and was playing world of warcraft. The most random things just kept coming out of my mouth, and I'm sure everyone on the appreciated my stupidness.

So, it's research class time, so of course I am looking for something else to do. I just cannot get into the whole class thing. Maybe I'm in the wrong area. I don't know. Or maybe I'm just so burnt out from school since I have been going straight since preschool. Research class is 3 hours online staring at the computer. That is enough to drive even the most sane person crazy.

I'm thirsty.

BTW, what is with college students making fake outs when crossing the street? I strongly think that pedestrians should have a blinker just like cars do. I don't know how many times I drove past a crosswalk today, and a butthead would walk close to the road like they were going to cross, so I would stop, and then they would do a 90 degree turn and keep going. BAH!

I'm tired of the cold and the snow. I have stuff to do outside that can't be done in the wet damn snow. Stop it already.

I want to go to the beach. Bad. I want to lay in the sand and get a tan. I also want to go the Disney Land. I wonder if I can talk Russell into a vacation this summer? I'm also itching to go camping at our spot!!

Omg, 2 more hours of class. LOKAJSLKRJLKDFJOSIDFJLKJLkjas.

I wanna just quit work and school and be a hermit for a while. I wanna be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Also, Russell seems to think that I am attracted to his sickness. He thinks I am naturally cold and therefore I am drawn to the warmth of his sickness. That could be something to look into. lol

You know what? I have the best hubby in the world. Not only does he always make me dinner every night after long ass days of work on the weekends, but he makes the bed for me, tucks me in, and this weekend was the best! I hate hate hate work, but Russell made it a good weekend anyway! Friday night, we ordered tons of pizza hut goodness, set up our air mattress on the living room floor, and cuddled and watched good movies all evening. We had so much fun we even slept there the whole night (although it was frickin cold and we had to run an electric blanket and an electric heater pointed at us, lol). It was great! AND to boot, it was all his idea. He even went out in the cold to dig out the mattress, lol. Then last night, I come home from a long day of work, and he ordered us Applebees, cleaned up the living room including folding all the blankets we used and the air mattress, and he was doing laundry. :)

Like I said, I have the best hubby in the world! ;)

Pomegranates are yummy and awesome. They are so easy to prepare, and they are yummy juicy! The seeds inside kinda suck, but totally worth it. I can't wait to try it on some oatmeal or something!!

Our xbox 360 died, but thank goodness they are going to send us a new one for free since they got sued for making sucky ones.

I don't wanna start classes again. Not looking forward to it.

That's all for now. lol

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Some things really need to change for me if I am ever going to feel good. Everything is GREAT with Russell and I, but that is about as far as it goes. I just feel down and miserable all the time. I'm not going to be able to feel good about me until I can get my life in order. Here are some things that need to be altered:

1. My weight/health - this is of course number one. The healthier you eat, the better you feel. The more you exercise, the more energy you have. I KNOW this through and through, but that doesn't change the fact that I do not do it. I want to feel good, and I know in my heart that this is a major problem.
2. My organization - my home is a wreck. It is dirty, smelly, and disorganized. There is junk that needs to be thrown out. All the walls need washed. The carpets are in desperate need of tender loving care. I think they are saturated in dog shit, piss, and puke. I need to replace filters and dust, and bleach, and scrub. I need a whole week of nothing but cleaning. A healthy home would make me feel better.
3. My job - I desperately need to feel better about my job. This is the one I have. This makes me a lot of money that allows us to buy what we want and need and to spend more money than we really should. I want to know more about my job and have more experience. I think this will make me not only more comfortable there, but will also let me stop doubting myself and stop caring if I'm perfect or if everyone there thinks I'm perfect.
4. My school - I need to stop being pissed that I am still in school and just do it. I know that I have no idea in hell what I want to do with this at the moment, but I know it will come in time, and for now I need to learn everything I can so I do not have the same problem I have now where I wish I would have payed more attention in class. I need a nice clean work station around my computer for optimal learning. I need to stop being pissy just because I have homework that I don't want to do and just do it.
5. My friends and family - I need to make more time for them. I need to send cards for birthdays and be a good aunt (also camping trips are a must have), and have more Lishy and Andi dinners and get togethers. I spend too much time sulking to do these things.

I think this is a good start. It seems like a lot, and it will take me time to get these things accomplished, feel healthier, and feel better about myself, but I feel a little better just thinking that I know what needs done, and hoping this is my fix.

Also, I want a new car. lol I think we're going to look sometime into getting a tribeca, but paying off the trailer comes first! not to mention that school loan payments will be coming soon enough, but i'm not going to let money worry me because we are more than fine.

Oh, and I got stuff for the camera, so i'm going to take pics of my goodies soon.

I hope you all had a wonderful new year, and I hope you all feel good in your own way.

I am so tired of a lot of things right now. I absolutely hate going to work! HATE IT! With a passion. Not to mention the fact that I am tired of seeing dead people....although this last one was kinda weird. I thought he wouldn't pass for a while, and then his wife showed up for a few minutes, and right after she stepped out he did. It's like he waited for her. I've heard of things like this happening, but I have never actually witnessed it before.

Back to my rant. I'm tired of asshole people who treat you like shit just because they can. People sense that I am someone they can walk all over, so they do. IF YOU CAN'T NOT BE AN ASSHOLE, THEN JUST KEEP TO YOUR DAMN SELF!

I'd like to talk about christmas and tell you all the wonderful things I got, but I am totally not in the mood right now. I would also like to show you pictures, but I can't do that either because my camera is dead (no pics taken), and I have lost my adapter so I can charge it. Hmph.

The job is ruining life once again. I am getting more comfortable with a lot of things, but then I just get a patient that has stuff going on that I am so intimidated by. For example, taking care of a younger person that has an aorta that is going to pop at any second and there is nothing that anyone can do to save them is not fun for me. Lots of blood pressure drips get me all uppity. And because of all this, I dreamed of work all night and constantly woke up to sit up in bed or walk toward the living room because my patient is in there and something bad is happening. This is not normal. I even try to reason with myself when this is going on. "Tonya, there is no way that you have to take care of a patient right now because it is night, and you do not work at night." It takes me a while but I finally calm down and go back to sleep....only to have it happen again and again and again and again. This used to happen to me when I worked at Wal-Mart, too, but I don't think it was ever this severe. Ugh. Maybe I should get paid for being at home, too? lol. Here's hoping for a work free good nights rest.

#54 Done

Woot! I actually raised my hand on wimba and talked tonight without being called on. I HATE talking on that thing. BTW, this is my online live class. GO ME!

My home.

#23 Done

I got a new piercing yesterday. It was actually an impulse pierce although I had been thinking about doing it for a while. I got my right cartilage done. Big woop. I figured I had enough piercings on my left ear that I needed to even it out some.

#86 Complete

I bought Russell a pair of blue flannel sheets today. I'm going to wash them and put them on the bed tonight and hope that it's cold enough tonight that we don't roast, lol.

101 things to do in 1001 days project

I finally completed my list for 101 things to do in 1001 days project after working on it for a week! It will always be listed on the side bar of the blog, and it will be updated on a regular basis...PROMISE! I will try to write about what I finish so you can have a detailed description of what took place or maybe even a picture. I swear, that Andrea Ware is trying to make us all be better people and damn her for it.

Today (11/3/08) I finished my first book of the southern vampire novels. This one is called Dead Until Dark. I highly recommend everyone reading it, and you also need to start watching True Blood on HBO because it is a series based on the short novels. Good stuff. I was going to start reading book 2 tonight, BUT I realized that the book I bought is indeed book 9. Woops.

Anyways, trying to make some changes in life, and I will let you know after things are done so I don't unintentionally screw myself over in any way.

The house I grew up in burned down.
Wow, that's weird.

Tonya Young, the next J.K. Rowling.

I want to write a book so bad. It seems like it would feel amazing to write a book and have people want to read it. After reading Twilight, I know I could never write a book anything like that, but if I were to write a book, I would want to to be too much like Twilight, lol. Stephenie Meyer, the author, actually never planned on writing a book. She dreamed it up...like actually had a dream, and then started writing about that dream. If only it were that easy. I mean, she did have a degree in english, but how hard would it be to write a book without a degree in english. My grammar and punctuation aren't terrible, but I know I don't even come close to knowing all the rules. I guess that's what editors are for. I can write a book, and Andrea can edit it for me!!! lol

Maybe one of these days...

Hold me, wrap me up.

Wow, has it really been 7 months since I have posted? I guess you just have to be in a mood for these things, and life has been hectic to the point where sometimes I just don't want to think. I guess it's time to think again.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself and my identity. Has anyone ever felt like that? What kind of person am I? What kind do I want to be? Am I the caring nurse or the one who just tries to get their work done? Is my house dirty because I am lazy, or do I really just not have enough hours? Too many questions I guess. This whole nurse thing has thrown me for a loop - a big one. It has somewhat made me push me to the background so I don't have to think about all the scary things that could happen. Don't get me wrong, I still worry constantly which isn't necessarily something different from usual for me, but it's all too much. I've even been having nightmares, and these aren't like the Wal-Mart nightmares that kept Russell and I both up all night. These are omg someone is gushing blood from their face in which case I fly out of bed like a cat that has just been spooked and flick on the light so I can see the damage. This is when I wake up enough to realize that I'm still at home in the middle of the night, and Russell can't figure out what the hell I am doing because I just ripped him out of his sleep, too. I LOVE critical care, but the stress and anxiety is almost too much to bare. I keep telling myself that I can push through this period because everyone does, but what if I just can't. I was never one for an adrenaline rush. I never thought I could EVER work in a place like this. I used to think that people were crazy for wanting to work in the intensive care unit or ER, but it's like the best place ever. I'm kinda hooked. Maybe I'm a glutten for punishment. I know it's hard for everyone to understand unless they have worked there before, but imagine waiting for the bottom to drop out at any second. What are you going to do when it does? Will you even know what to do?? Will anyone be there to help you pick up the pieces? Will you lose a patient? Will it be your fault? Can you live with yourself if you lose the fight? Do you know in your heart you did everything in your power? It's the scariest shit you can imagine, and you can be changing various lives for the better or worse.

To add to all this mess, I have made the decision to go back to school. My first classes were this evening. I will be getting a Masters in Nursing and taking certification for Family Nurse Practitioner. I wanted to do neonatal, and maybe one of these days I will, but then I would always have to work in a hospital setting, and I'm not so sure I want to be so constricted on my career choices. All of the courses are online webcasts with live instructors and other students in the class. Much better than having to drive to class, but I don't really like talking over the microphone. Am I crazy for doing this so soon or at all? I don't know the answer to that, yet, but I do know that I cannot be a floor nurse for the rest of my life.

Russell is doing great. He's back into classes as well, and finally getting to do real courses that have to do with his interests....aka not statistics and biochemistry, lol. This is also hopefully his last year (he may need more to finish his research), and I'm wishing upon a star that he can find a job close to home so we can move back. We already have a house ready in Frametown until we can build one of our own. I'm really excited. I'll actually have room for a garden!!

Citi is still spoiled as ever, and Gunther acts like he doesn't like her, but we still catch him enjoying it when Citi chases him and licks him on the ears. It's too cute.

Oh, and I got stung by a wasp today on my finger tip. This is the first time I've been stung since elementary school, and I am not pleased by this. It hurt like a bitch. I don't remember it lasting that long or being that painful. Asshole.

I will leave you with a song to listen to for my mood. "Breathe me" by Sia. Great song.
And don't worry. I enjoyed posting tonight, so I should be back, lol. It's nice to be able to get my thoughts down to make sense of things. It help me remember that through all the shit at work, I still want to be where I am. I always have to remind myself that I am so lucky. I have my own place to live, a great job that pays the bills and keeps us in our luxuries, and a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally...even when I scare the shit out of him jumping out of bed in the middle of the night, lol. And here I go on a tangent again. Be back soon.

Tomorrow is my first day of work....how did my break go by so darn fast?? Even though all I do is listen to people talk tomorrow, I am sooo nervous. What if this job isn't right for me? What if I suck at it? I don't think I'll suck, but it will definitely be hard. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Russell and I just went to the eye doctor again for the second time in one year because Russell has already lost his expensive first pair of glasses. It's nice to have vision insurance now, although make sure it is working before you go to the eye doctor and have to spend your whole appointment time on the phone. Anyways, we finally got checked, and it turns out that my vision is now 20/200 in my right eye and 20/100 in my left eye. Wowsers. Never thought my eyes would get that bad. But indeed they are. She talked me into getting a new kind of contacts. I was using the Acuvue Oasys which I loooooved, but she wasn't pleased that I was wearing 2 week contacts for a month straight. She decided she felt safer if I chose a new pair, so I got these Bausch and Lomb monthlies that are really thick, but comfortable, and you are supposed to be able to wear them for a month straight if you want...not that the optometrist still recommends that, but nevertheless it seems to be the safer choice for me. I also tried on some colored contacts there, but they just didn't work. They did not fit and were squirming around in my eye; I could see the color they were in my vision sometimes, and they didn't seem to change my eye color as much as I thought they should. Or as much as their pictures show they should. I tried on freshlook and acuvue colors....so if anyone knows better ones, please let me know.

I start my brand new job this monday. I am soooooooooo nervous and scared. Not so much for the first week, but after that I am expected to be a competent nurse, and I don't think I am ready to be that, yet. I know they don't expect me to know everything, and that is why I go through orientation so I can learn all these things seeing as though everyone says you don't learn how to be a nurse until you start working, but it's so risky. I'm working in an intensive care unit where people's lives are in my hands. Did I bite off more than I can chew? I just wanted a job that I love and want to go to. Is this it? I guess only time will tell.
I also have to go take my NCLEX license exam February 4th, and I can't even make myself study. This is terrible. My pay drops down a minimum of $11 from what I was making, and I have to fork out another $200 to take the damn test again which my chances of passing after failing drop a ton. Can you tell this is a big deal? Why am I being so casual about it? Why can't I just study like I'm sure everyone else is doing right now? I want to puke right about now.

Other than that everything is going alright.

Oh, anyone want to come and clean this stink-hole of a trailer? I don't think anyone could take this mess on....lol.

Since I am not allowed in the living room right now due to the fact that Russell is wrapping my presents, I thought I would write a little. Things are going great! I finally graduated!! Russell got me this beautiful afghan that has embroidered nurses caring for patients on it, and it says...

Tonya R. Young, RN
My life, My love, My soul.

Man, that was a tear jerker. Mom and grandma got me this really pretty diamond ring. They came up for graduation, and we went out to eat at Cheddar's. It was nice.

I start my new job on MICU/SICU on January 28. I'm really excited, but I'm also REALLY nervous. I only have to work one more day as a CA, and that isn't even until January 4th, so it's muy nice-o. I'm so glad to be moving on with my life.

I really don't even know what else to say. If you're close to me, then you already know everything that is going on in my life anyway. Maybe I'll write more later, but probably not...

This is our new puppy, Citi!!

This is the week from hell, but I keep reminding myself that I am sooooo close to being done. But yet it seems so damn far away! If you question how much my week sucks, then here is my schedule for all you nonbelievers:

MONDAY - Class from 9:00am-2:30pm with 2 large tests plus 2 at home tests
TUESDAY - OB from 7:00am-3:30pm
WEDNESDAY - Work from 3:00pm-11:30pm
THURSDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
FRIDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
SATURDAY - Work from 11:00am-11:30pm

Notice the day where I go from working to 11:30pm to getting up and being at OB at 7:00am. That one is my damn favorite. Anywho, I am almost done. I only have 30 hours out of 200 hours left for my leadership rotation which will be done with one more shift after Thanksgiving break. We're getting to go home for a change and have some fun. Graduation is December 9th with 2 finals after that, and I am done done done! I cannot wait!! It seems so unreal!

So, still no definite on the puppy, yet. I don't even know if Russell's mom still has it or not, but I guess you will know whether or not we come home with a puppy or not after break.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I cannot make it through this damn week. How in the hell do I do it?? It's so not fair. And on that note, I am done talking.

No one wants to go to fright farm with me, and I have to say that I am not too pleased about it. This is not something that you can do on your own. Well, actually you could, but why would that be fun?

We may be getting a doggy. Not sure, yet. It's mostly jack russell terrier with a golden color, but we'll see. She's a big love bug I hear, and Russell's mom and dad are waiting to see if anyone claims her. It would have to be on a trial basis first to see if we have enough time for her, and also to see if Gunther gets along with her okay because he's still number one.

I seem to be pretty miserable these days, but I'm just trying to get through it. On any given week I am working up to 50 or so hours plus class, so I'm very grouchy. I think all this stress is giving me some female problems, so I need to make an appointment and get myself checked out to make sure it is indeed stress and not something else.

Heroes is the best show EVER! Love it!!

I'm already getting excited to shop for Christmas presents. I have bought one, and then some partials. Is it too early to be thinking this much about Christmas? I think I love it even more this year because I should be done by that time!

Andrea has been wanting me to update FOREVER, but I just have no time, and when I do (rarely), I don't really feel like writing. Things have been going well. Had a slight pregnancy scare...well, not really, but brushing my teeth has been making me gag and sometime puke a lot, so I decided to go ahead and take a test. Doesn't hurt, right? So, I peed in a cup, dipped my stick, and put the timer on three minutes. Russell stood in the living room, eyes wide open. "Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet?" Long story somewhat short - it was negative. Obviously. But, this experience made us realize that if we were to be pregnant, it wouldn't be a terrible time for it. I'm almost done with school (until masters), and I already have a job at the MICU/SICU at WVUH, so everything would be okay. This, plus working on Maternity, has brought on lots of pregnancy and baby dreams. I want one bad, but I can't have a baby right now. I'm not ready. We're not ready. I still need some us time first.

School and work is okay. I stay so busy that I barely have time to wipe my own ass, but so far I haven't had a mental breakdown.

I think I'm going to decorate for Halloween today, which can only mean..............HALLOWEEN VILLAGE YAY!

Okay, I think I'm done talking now. Sorry Andrea.

Things have been going pretty good round here. I'm doing my ICU rotation right now. Next week is my last week. You see some neat but sad things around there. I applied for it not too long ago. They are hiring a lot of people right now, and they just hired 3 new nurses that are graduating in December, so it looks like I have a shot. I also applied for a night job on maternity. I really don't want to work nights, but if it's the only way for me to get in there then so be it. It would only be 3 nights a week anyway, then I would have the rest of the week off! I also got into the maternity unit for my leadership rotation (200 hours worth), so that gives me a better shot than what I have before. My preceptor on the floor can pretty much make or break me, so I'm hoping all goes well.

Russell is loving school. He has four classes now, and he is also teaching 2 biology 115 labs for some yummy money. He's doing really well. Him and some of the other people in his class have a lot of study group sessions because the classes he is in are incredibly hard, and the teacher in the statistics class skips things, doesn't explain, and goes way too fast, so they pretty much have to teach themselves.

I applied to work in telemetry at work. All you do is sit there, look at monitors, call nurses, and then do whatever the hell else you want to do...like homework, listen to loud music, or play on the internet. I've been talking with the woman that's the head of it about switching there, and she's going to set me up with an interview. It pays a little less, and I will have to pay a little more for benefits, but we have the money right now, and it's so worth it. Being a CA right now is terrible. We are overworked and not appreciated at all. Switching to a nonstressful job right now would be right up my alley seeing as though I also have to do around 24 hours a week of clinicals plus work. One week that I have scheduled, I am doing 28 hours on maternity and 24 hours for work. That is just not right, lol.

My house needs cleaned. :(

Well, I thought I should update now that Russell is officially back into school. He's getting his masters in environmental microbiology, and he's taking Agricultural Biochemistry 610 and Statistics 512! Not to mention he has to start his research. His research has something to do with finding a new and more efficient way to store spores. As of right now, they use liquid nitrogen to freeze and store them. Since 911, they have apparently been more strict with what you store liquid nitrogen in, so these containers are VERY expensive. So, it's Russell's job to find a new way to do this. Awesomeness. Everyone keep him in your thoughts because it's gonna be rough. :)

i miss harry potter, and i think i'm going to have to read the last one again...i'm reliving the old ones through rusty!

rusty is supposed to get his acceptance letter in the mail soon soon so he can go become an official student.

i love 300. i have watched it twice now, and i could probably watch it every day...blockbuster can kiss my ass for not having any when i went there.

the rain is nice to hear, but it better go away for when we go camping.

the red goldfish has a hole in his head now. i brought her and professor snape back from some nasty ich, but now she has the hole in her head. i have moved her into rusty's tank and plan on starting antibacterial treatments tonight. too bad my nursing skills cannot help me here.

i love being off work and school. very good feeling.

the water has been brown and smelly. i think it is clear now so i can wash my smelly clothes and dishes...horray.

So I totally just spent $400 at Wal-Mart yesterday. We have to use our discount while we still can, lol. I bought shit tons of camping stuff. We're going to have so much and just be able to RELAX! We also bought some saw stuff to fix the floor with.

Today starts my 5 days of total hell - day 1. Argh! Why can't it be day 5!!? I just want this shit to be over so we can go to Ohio and not think about work and hardly think about school (except for revisions to my paper and making my poster for my presentation).

I have car news, but no time to talk about that.
I also got some new fishies and will post some pics later. But they are doing great. We have a black moore called professor snape, and we have another one that is orange and white...we've been calling her red, but no technical name, yet.

Harry Potter was great, but even though the epilogue is what I would hope for, it was still kinda cheesy. Oh well.

Getting ready and off to work!

I forgot to mention that Russell got an estimate on his car. $3700 dollars ($500 of which we have to pay for our deductible). We were going to take it to this body shop up here, but the guy was really flaky and wanting the phone # to our bank and everything, so that's a big fat NO! We're going to try to take it to Pletcher's instead before we go on our trip...someone we can actually trust.

My car gets dropped off on Monday to get fixed. Hopefully all will work out well with that.

I made pepperoni rolls yesterday...mmm they were good. It's been a long time since I've made them, but they were still as good as ever! Yum.

Oh, and if the claims guy had any doubt that we hit a deer even though there was deer hair everywhere, we found deer shit stuck to Russell's grill when we pulled up the hood...LOL!

The claims guy also cut his finger on Russell's car. :( Does our insurance cover that?? lol

YAY MY TANK IS FINALLY CYCLED!! It has taken like 2 months, but well worth it! The only problem is that we're going to be gone for a while coming up, so I don't know if I want to get fish, yet. Especially to leave them alone like that with no water changes or food so soon after getting them. We'll see I guess.

I am very annoyed these days.

Russell and I have been shit on a lot lately. We've both been doing a decent job keeping each other sane. I have a feeling that something really good is coming our way. Maybe we can laugh about it later.

School is almost done for the summer. I'm really looking forward to some time off. Too bad I have to work three 11am-11:30pm shifts in a row to get that time off.

I just bought a $40 NCLEX study book. I'm really finding out how much I do not know.

Gunther licked my eyebrow today.

I really want to have a nice bubble bath, but I am out of bubble bath.

I mowed the lawn yesterday and felt really good about it. It looks nice.

I am very displeased with Harry Potter. The movie was so off from the book that I could not even enjoy it. Don't the author's have to approve these scripts?! I could go on and on and on about what was wrong with that damn movie. Maybe another day.

Russell's poor subaru...

This is what happens on a foggy Friday the 13th. Notice the deer hair?

Watching Life as a House was a great experience. A movie hasn't made me cry that much since The Notebook. I don't know how to feel about it, though. Would it be better to have someone die hating them and never actually knowing them, or to get to know and love them, and then they are gone forever? That's a tough one.

It really brings up not so good issues with me. But, I still love the movie. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, you just have to let yourself think.

Finally took the subi to see how much it would cost to fix the oil leak...

$1600

Umm, yeah. That's a hunk of change right there. So we went and spent $35 at applebees to make ourselves feel better about it. lol

Everyone needs to go watch The Life of David Gale if you haven't already! Awesome movie.

The wedding was good. They were so cute. My bridesmaid dress was a little big on me, so it made me look bigger, but all is well. We all got our hair fixed really cute. I missed being able to dance with my Rusty, though.

School is coming close to the end for the summer. Very excited about that. It's scary to think that I'm going to be a nurse soon.

Well, I'm off to watch some tv, then going to Wal-Mart to shop and have dinner with Rusty. Making another surprise pit stop before that as well.

Maybe I'll post more later.

finally bought a new pair of glasses...should get them in a week

had to buy pasties for the wedding *shiver*

something borrowed is super good...almost done reading it

already bought something blue for when the other one is done

harry potter comes out soon and i can't wait

russell cutely played with my hair as we went to sleep last night
i love it when he does that

i have dead silence on video...i'm almost too scared to watch it

transformers was good and russell and i liked it
i was good and didn't eat movie popcorn
although i ate at cici's but i was still good and ate reasonably within my points system
i've lost more weight, but i'm not going to say how much because it's not weigh in day

i have to work 11a-11p tomorrow, and i am not happy about it

I went to student health to try to figure out my sleeping-don't-want-to-do-anything problem. They took some blood. My CBC was good, and I wasn't going to find out the TSH until today. Well, it's supposedly in the normal range, so that rules out the thyroid. She seems to think that it's because I'm burning out and doing waaay too much. She wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to have to take a drug to make me feel good, so I'm going to try other things:

• Having bedtimes again.
• Taking time for myself without work or school or homework or housework.
• Setting an alarm if I take a nap.
• Continuing my weight watchers with drinking lots of water.
• My daily vitamin.
• Walking and/or swimming.
• Spending time outside with lots of deep breaths of fresh air.
• Cooper's rock with Russell when we have days off together.
• Writing more on here to try to hash out my issues. A "journal" if you will.

I may add to this list, but this is my reminder I guess. I haven't figured out the bedtime yet, but maybe I should just gradually decrease it instead of trying to cut staying up late cold turkey.




I got my ear pierced....the tragus which is the little flappy cartilage thing that is right next to your cheek. My camera is dead right now or I would take a picture. It hurt like a bitch, but I like it. It's not nearly as sore as it was before. I was having a really bad day when I got it done, and I thought that a piercing pain would make me feel better (if that makes sense to anyone other than me), but it didn't. I do feel better now, though. Not great, but it's better than shitty.

SLEEP

I've known for a while that I sleep a lot, but lately it seems to be more of a problem. I'm ALWAYS napping, and that's all I think about is "gee, when I get home I am going straight to bed" no matter what time of day it is. even as soon as I get up, I look forward to my nap. I just woke up from a 4 hour nap. I decided I'm going to start keeping a sleep log, and if it starts seeming crazy then I am going to go see a doctor about it.

Everyone is always telling me it's because I work so damn much, but is it really? After I took that big nap, I logged my first days sleep, and it's only 10.5 hours for the whole day. That's not so crazy. I logged what I slept last night, and it was 1:30am-8:00am...6.5 hours for the night. And that's more sleep than I usually get at night because I typically have to get up earlier than that. I am not a morning person at all, and I'm not the kind of person to run on low hours of sleep either. I'm hoping that this is the only problem I have (although I hardly exercise and I am currently working on my diet...stress I cannot change). If I can get out of this nap funk, then maybe I can start getting the hang of going to bed at a decent hour. This is a hard task because Russell normally stays up until 3:00am anymore because that is the funk he is in. I don't like his funk because I like going to bed with him, but he can't really go to bed any earlier than that because he'll just lay there. He doesn't have to get up early like me anymore. I need to quit trying to stay up a little later with him and give myself a bedtime or something. Gosh, I hate that. I like staying up later. :(

But, I'm going to have to try something. *shrug*

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Really.

STIR CRAZY!

I have really been getting stir crazy lately. It has been 2 years since I have had a vacation. I think I'm damn due. I haven't been working my ass off for nothing. I think I am very deserving of a vacation. And it's not just that. I want to get out and do things more. I want to go out on a boat, go fishing, swimming, camping, to our cabin, to the beach, to amusement parks, biking, walking, etc. You name it, and I want to do it...minus going to the bar. I want to have a picnic outside. I want to breathe fresh air and see pretty nature things. I'm so tired of Morgantown. I want Russell and I to do all these things together, but it's so hard with our schedules the way they are. I want to go fishing and swimming every damn day. I want to grill hotdogs on our cool rock on the lake like we had done so many years ago. I'm tired of wasting my life away inside all the time.

This swimming every day thing could be a bit tricky since I refuse to wear a bathing suit in public. I'm supposed to get my weight watchers stuff in the mail next week sometime, and I am excited to get started and lose weight. I have done it before, and I can do it again plus more. I already have my game plan, and I refuse to let it not work. I may love food, but I want to love my body more. Everyone send me good thoughts every once in a while to keep me going strong because once I get started, I don't want anything to sidetrack me. I have a shitload of clothes that I want to wear that I will not or cannot where right now because of my size, and I cannot wait until I can wear them again.

In other news, the aquarium is almost ready for fish. I'm soo excited to get my babies. Soon soon.

OH, and the three year anniversary is this Monday. We'll mostly be celebrating Sunday, I think, because I have class from 9-5 on Monday. We haven't decided what we're going to do yet, but I definitely want to do something.

3 years married.
8 years together.
Sooo happy with my baby. :)

You might be a nurse if...

1. You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you, and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
2. It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other.
3. You've had a patient with a nose ring, brow ring, and 12 earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
4. You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
5. You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
6. You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
7. You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
8. You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
9. You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
   

Lots of stuff

I realize I haven't posted in forever. Oh well.

Some things that are going on:
School starts back on May 21. They are killing me. They make plans at the last second and ruin my already made work schedule, and my life. Damn them. You probably won't even know I exist over the summer because I am going to be that busy.

Do you remember sometime in March when I got my tetanus shot, and it went all crazy so I had to go to the emergency department to have it checked? Well, they actually tried to bill me $90 for it. $90 for some dude to look at my arm and poke it a few times in less than a minute and tell me to take some damn tylenol...wow. So I had to go through a lot, but now employee health (the place that gave me the shot) said that they are going to take care of the bill....GREAT!

The school is giving me almost $5000 loan that I never accepted for summer school. I only need like $1700 of that. I thought about just sending the rest of the money back so I don't have to pay for it later, BUT now I'm thinking about other uses for it. We need to get our holes in the kitchen and our almost hole in the bathroom fixed. I am also going to need a vacation at the end of this summer. I am trying to talk Russell into taking me to our cabin in the Smokey's for some love in the hot tub and Dixie Stampede among other things. We'll see.

Russell's sister is having to have surgery soon. They found a tumor on her ovary. :(

In other news, I told Russell I either want a baby or a dog...preferably a bulldog. He seems tot try to be ignoring me on this topic. We'll see how that goes also.

Fish tanks are still not even close to being ready. I am very angry about this and about ready to just throw in some fish anyway! Damn it. that big beautiful tank is going to waste.

I want to go out to eat today. I wonder if I can talk Russell into it. We may go see Shrek 3 tomorrow early. Maybe. We're also having a cookout/in tomorrow night. Russell is trying to make some gourmet burgers, but alas a couple of our guests do not like onions, so there goes one of his favorite ingredients. I also bought beer. We never have beer in this house mostly because we don't like it. I may try one.

And now I'm thinking even more of getting fish now. The only downside to that is I will have to change out large quantities of water every day instead of once a week. I do not like that. 29 gallons is a lot of water to be bucketing every day.

We watched Eragon last night. Good movie. Can't wait until the next one even though I really didn't want to watch the first one, lol.

Six Feet Under is the shit. We watch is together almost every night. :) We get it from Blockbuster total access which I highly recommend. We were getting netflix, but we can get twice the amount of movies for the same price. Good stuff.

Birthday is coming up. I am off work the whole weekend, but Russell has to work. The bitch wouldn't let him have it off. Well, too bad because I am making him not go! Bwahaha. lol Mom also wants to come up, but I have no idea what we're going to do, yet. Maybe go to Kennywood? Hmm. That is a thought. Or maybe good food somewhere. I did buy a new snazzy dress to wear somewhere, so maybe.

Russell is still sleeping. I need to clean. I cannot clean while he is sleeping. Well, maybe I can start on this far bathroom. Yes, that sounds like a plan. Buh-bye.

Watch it.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/527593/the_lanlord/

Aquariums

Finally took some pictures of the new aquariums (minus fishies). These are all pictures without the flash, so that's why they look somewhat blurry. I had better pics, but somehow I lost them, and I am very angry now. The first one is my 29 gallon tank that is going to have goldfish in it, and the second one is Russell's 5 gallon tank that is going to have tetras in it. Yay.

YAY FOR FISH!

I am so excited right now! Russell bought me my 29 gallon fish tank. Huge, right? Well, I'm getting awesome goldfish to go in there, and I have been reading so much to become a goldfish pro and a good mommy. Those things, if taken care of properly, can grow to be HUGEMONGOUS!

So, not only am I excited about that, but Russell decided that he wanted to take the 5 gallon tank and put some pretty tetras in it! So, we're going to have 2 awesome fish tanks. I think we might put the smaller one in the bedroom. We have to have a heater for it, though, because tetras are tropical freshwater fish. They look so neat though.

The only sucky thing is that I have to cycle these tanks before we can even get the fish. I told you I was becoming a pro, lol. It will take about a month, but I need to run the tanks with ammonia in it to cycle it to where there is no ammonia, no nitrites, and just a little bit of nitrates. Look it up if you want to know more about what I'm talking about. As soon as I get stuff going, I will take some pictures.

I am also EXTREMELY EXCITED about something else. We both are. But I'm not going to tell you what it is, yet. You will just have to wait a while until things are fixed the way they are supposed to be. I don't want to jinx anything. No, not even you, Andrea. ;) You'll have to wait like everyone else. lol

Night of the living wasp

I hate wasps! I have this freakish phobia of them. I can't help it. The fear just takes over. I was in the living room sitting on the couch just now when all of the sudden a big wasp flies in my freaking face! I start screaming like someone is murdering me, and Russell comes running. He was a but pissed that I was screaming like that over a bee. It's not all bees I'm scared of...just of ones with stingers that can get you over and over again. I can kill those fat ones that eat your wood with the best of them. In fact, I hold the record in this household for most killed with a flyswatter. I will reign again this year! But I see a wasp, and I just lose it. I just read that the queen wasps are the only ones out right now (early spring) to make their nests and lay eggs, so I'm hoping that wasp will be the only one I see for a while. Now I'm scared as shit to go back in the living room, and Rusty won't go check the windows. :(

Why can't I be normal? Why can't there be no wasps? Why can't that stupid stove vent be sealed?!