Just the FIVE of us...

2011-08-20T13:24:00.002-05:00

Already started on goals. We canned some fresh green beans that we grew in our garden boxes (fat boy runners lol), and all 5 quarts were successful! It's exciting to grow and can something yourself and know that you have made food to feed your family. I've also read the first book of the 50. It's called Game of Thrones, and it's actually a whole series written by George R.R. Martin (also a new show on HBO that is awesome). The book is fantastic! It's a little longer that what I have been used to lately, but it definitely keeps your attention. The show actually comes right from the book, so it was interesting to read the book after watching the show to get some more insight into the characters. I've just started on the second book A Clash of Kings. Russell is on the third book. I think there are 5 books total so far, and he is still writing. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes to read. I have to warn you though, he is not afraid of killing off main characters which is a change from usual books. It's quite a shocker.

I've bought some more make-up (shocker), and I'm using a lash extending potion which I will do a review on after another week or two when I start seeing more results. I've been using it for a couple weeks now, and I think I'm starting to see a little bit of a change, although it says you will notice more of a change (40%) in 4 weeks. And I have stumbled upon a new AWESOME mascara that I bought a sample of at Sephora called Benefit BADgal lash mascara. It makes your eyelashes REALLY long looking, and it also separates them quite nicely and does not look clumpy. Kind of expensive, but apparently you get that if you want quality lol.

2011-08-01T11:00:00.001-05:00

Almost forgot. We're headed out today, so I talked Rusty into taking me to the mall so I can go to the new Sephora in JC Penny's!! I'm really excited, and there are so many urban decay things I want to buy along with a few other things. I hope they have the things that I want...and that I don't go broke in there. If I get some extra time, I'll take some pictures of my treasures and post!

New 101 things to do in 1001 days

2011-08-01T10:55:00.004-05:00

So here are the new goals! Hopefully, I can complete all 101 this time!! I'm excited to get started!! :)

1. Be approved for prescriptive authority

2. Get DEA license

3. Decorate my desk and office space at work

4. Get pregnant ;)

5. Get a tattoo

6. Plant a vegetable garden each summer

7. Swim in the ocean

8. Clean and package my wedding dress

9. Lose 10 lbs.

10. Lose another 10 lbs.

11. Take baked goodies to work for no reason

12. Make a blanket leaving the details up to me

13. Up-date blog at least once per month

14. Finish reading Game of Thrones series

15. Try two new Crockpot recipes

16. Make five new recipes

17. Learn to bake a pie or cobbler

18. Take new car through car wash three times

19. Go to an amusement park

20. Buy Christmas presents for a less fortunate kid

21. Clean out and organize the garage

22. Decorate our home for each Christmas during the 1001 days

23. Organize and file important documents again

24. Pack lunch for work every day for two weeks

25. Go to a drive-in movie

26. Get a massage

27. Take Russell on his first skiing trip

28. Get a manicure

29. Get a pedicure (even though I’m still a freak about people touching my toes)

30. Go to Comicon

31. Donate to goodwill

32. Create and notarize a medical power of attorney/living will for Russell and me

33. Write a regular will

34. Make Russell breakfast in bed

35. Pay off my student loans

36. Buy a handgun and safe

37. Learn how to shoot said handgun

38. Go fishing

39. Pack quilts not being used in space-saver bags

40. Organize all four closets

41. Clean out pantry thoroughly

42. Send my hair that’s been sitting in my cabinet forever to locks of love

43. Complete a 5k marathon

44. Rent a boat

45. Thoroughly clean the grill

46. Whiten teeth

47. Go to a concert

48. Buy a shelf and organize dvds

49. Buy a new king size bed

50. Take Dexter to the beach!

51. Buy new good pots and pans

52. Stain porch/deck

53. Stain picnic table

54. Hammer down nails in porch

55. Re-play all resident evil games

56. Clean out fire place

57. Get Lasik surgery

58. Establish care with a medical provider

59. Ride in a plane

60. Get a chemical peel or microderm abrasion

61. Get Dexter’s teeth cleaned

62. Get laser hair removal

63. Buy a new pair of glasses that I actually want to wear

64. Go on a cruise

65. Do something special with nieces/nephews (no parents allowed)

66. Read 50 books

67. Can something (meat or from our garden)

68. Send flowers to someone

69. Teach Dexter a new trick

70. Find a new hairstylist closer to home

71. Donate blood again

72. Take Russell on a surprise date

73. Take a picture every day for 30 days and document

74. Complete a coloring book

75. Go to Las Vegas

76. Identify 101 things that make me happy

77. Learn to knit

78. Go to Fright Farm

79. Buy a new car for Russell

80. Go camping twice

81. Attend high school reunion

82. Use treadmill x20

83. Protect and catalog loose photos

84. Finish a scrapbook

85. Give graduation photo to mom and grandma

86. Start my pig farm

87. Start a retirement plan

88. Answer the “50 questions that will free your mind”

89. Donate to a good cause that benefits animals

90. Take an online academic course (possibly anatomy or wound care)

91. Start a savings account

92. Go to church with mom for a special occasion

93. Dress up for Halloween (even if I have nowhere to go)

94. Lay out in the yard to get a suntan

95. Buy the puppies life jackets

96. Thoroughly clean and redesign the aquarium

97. Buy a new goldfish so Chi-Chi has a friend

98. Wash dishes every day for two weeks

99. Build a snowman

100. Fold and put away all laundry

101. Host family dinner party

Old 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days Project

2011-08-01T10:02:00.001-05:00

Start date: November 3, 2008

End date: August 1, 2011

Wash dishes every day for 2 weeks. (0/14)
Wash or change the sheets every week (unless we are gone). (1/143)
Take my car through a car wash twice. (2/2)
Organize the shed and get rid of the stuff we don’t need. Completed 2/13/09.
Decorate our home inside and outside for every Christmas during the 1001 days. (3/3) 12/08, 12/09, 12/10
Fix and install light/fan in bedroom. moved in 11/09 and have one in new house
Organize and file important documents. Completed 10/2010
Re-gravel the walkway. Completed 6/2009
Get a teeth cleaning at the dentist. Completed 8/2009, 7/2010.
Lose 10 pounds. Completed 11/2010.
Lose another 10 pounds. Completed 12/2010.
Lose another 10 pounds.
Do 15 minutes Wii Fit every day for 2 weeks. (0/14)
Buy an incline for my side of the bed and sleep on it for 7 days straight. (0/7)
Pack lunch for work every day for 2 weeks. (0/6)
Take a daily vitamin with my other drugs for 1 month. (30/30) Completed 6/2010.
Go to my first WVU home football game.
Read all of the Southern Vampire stories. (9/9) Complete 12/08, 5/2009, and 5/2010.
Paint something at the wow factory. Complete 2/13/09.
Go to a drive-in movie.
Get a massage. From Rusty counts! Completed 12/2010
Get a tattoo.
Get a new piercing. Complete 11/4/08
Take Russell on his first skiing trip.
Go on a real date with Russell once a month. (0/33)
Host a slumber party. Completed May 2010
Visit a zoo. Completed March 2011
Get my first pedicure even though I’m a freak about people touching my toes.
Go to Blizzcon with Rusty. Completed 8/2009 and 10/2010
Swim in the ocean. Completed 8/2009 and 10/2010.
Visit friends in Texas.
Take a spontaneous, overnight trip with Russell. Completed 9/2010
Visit Dave and Buster’s. Completed 8/2009.
Replace all light bulbs in trailer with the more economic ones. Moved to a new home. All economic light bulbs.
Donate to goodwill twice. (2/2) Complete 2009.
Donate 50,000 grains of rice through www.freerice.com. (600/50,000)
Donate blood again (since I had a bad experience last time). Completed 7/2010.
Create and notarize a medical power of attorney/living will for Russell and me.
Get a professional family photo taken.
Move to a new home (new for us!). Complete 10/2009
Go camping with Rusty and Citi at least 3 times. (1/3) June 2011
Get all close family and friends’ birthdays, write in calendar, and send cards. Complete 1/09.
Make Russell an appointment to go to the dermatologist for a mole check. Complete 8/2009.
Make Russell breakfast in bed. Complete 5/2009
Put together a large picture frame with pictures of Russell and me.
Get pregnant. ;)
Buy a freezer. Complete 12/08.
Buy colored contacts.
Start buying a Christmas village. Complete 12/18/08. (thanks Andrea!)
Pay-off trailer loan. Complete 1/09.
Buy a hammock for home use.
Buy a pistol and a gun safe.
Graduate with my MSN. Completed May 14, 2011!!!! :)
Raise my hand and talk on Wimba without being called on. Complete 11/5/08
Get professionally fit for a bra. Completed 2/23/09.
Clean and package my wedding dress.
Use the bread maker. Complete 6/2009
Make a blanket (leaving the details up to me).
Use the sewing machine once.
Get a new job. Complete 5/2009 (moved from ICU to PACU)
Shoot a can with a real gun.
Make 20 of The 50 Best Cookie Recipes on the Internet. (0/20)
Make a new recipe once a month. (2/33)
Get my flute out and play it again.
Pack quilts not being used in space-saver bags. Complete 6/2009
Fill out a cookbook with extra recipes I like. (started)
Go fishing. Completed 3/2010.
Buy real silverware. Complete 11/08.
Get a 4.0. Completed Fall 2008.
Try a pomegranate. Completed 1/12/09.
Clean my car out completely. Completed 6/2010.
Visit an amusement park. (Disneyland) Completed 8/2009.
Wash all of extra laundry that I have collected. Completed 11/2009
Steam clean all carpet thoroughly. Completed 2009.
Spend one day at work without outwardly complaining about something. Completed 6/15/2011
Take 50 bubble baths. (30/50)
Take both of our cars to the Subaru dealership for complete check-ups. Complete 12/8/08.
Get O2 sensor replaced in my car. O2 sensor is fine; cannot complete.
Send my hair that’s been sitting in my cabinet forever to locks of love.
Completely clean each room in the house from ceiling to floor. Completed 11/2009
Organize kitchen cabinets (get rid of things I don’t use). Completed 11/2009.
Buy one piece of country decoration (have piece in mind – don’t know what it’s called). Completed 2009.
Can something. (deer meat) Completed 1/4/2010.
Give Russell a 15 minute back massage twice. (0/2)
Complete the Couch-to-5K running plan.
Buy a pair of flannel sheets because Russell likes them. Complete 11/4/08
Go to a family reunion in Ohio. Complete 6/2009
Update my laptop that I never use and actually use it. Complete.
Take a picture every day for 30 days. (0/30)
Set off fireworks. Complete 1/1/09.
Witness my first shooting star.
Swim in the Sutton Lake! Completed 8/2009.
Rent a boat.
Buy an awesome sticker for my laptop.
Fake Bake 5 times. (0/5)
Use the grill twice. (0/2)
Thoroughly clean the grill.
Tar the roof. Completed 7/2009.
Whiten teeth.
Buy a gas weed eater. Complete 5/2009
Make 5 new recipes in the crock-pot. (2/5) Mac and Cheese, Cornish Game Hens.

2011-07-31T17:34:00.003-05:00

I totally just realized that my 101 things in 1001 days is over tomorrow! There are a lot of things that I have not done, but I am okay with that because there are many many of the things that I have accomplished, and I am proud of those things!! I guess I'll have to make another list! It was actually fun getting to mark off the things that I had completed. I finished 58/101 of the things on my list, and a lot of the ones that I did not finish, I completed partially. Here's to the next 1001 days....

Purple Nurples

2011-07-15T22:31:00.002-05:00

Thought I would give everyone who even still reads this a quick update. I would say probably no one even looks at it anyway since I never post anymore. But, I have bunches of good news, so I thought I would share. I knew 2011 was going to be my good year! It started out rocky, but as I predicted, it has improved a ton.

I finally graduated with my Masters of Science in Nursing. I actually went to graduation, although I mostly did it just for my mom. Plus it was nice to kind of finalize my journey, I guess...get a little bit of closure. I have been working my ass off for years! I have been going to college straight for about 8.5 years minus a semester waiting to start another program. That is a long freaking time! Not to mention the fact that I have worked for most of that while taking classes and doing clinical hours. And taking care of my family. It's been a rough road. But now I have the diploma to show for it!

Not long after that I had an interview at a primary care facility, and they offered me the job! I could not believe I was chosen over all the other candidates! I really didn't think I was going to be offered a job anywhere since it seemed like no one was hiring, but they did! Even when most of my fellow students weren't being offered jobs. I was so excited! And then something even better happened....I WAS OFFERED A SECOND JOB! That is amazing to me that I get offered two jobs when most are being offered none. It's quite flattering actually. Of course, the second place is in Clay and is the facility where I completed most of my clinical hours, so they called me up and offered me the job without even interviewing me. I bet you could guess which job I accepted, lol. The first placed wanted me to run their school-based health program in Gilmer county and work at the clinic on days the school was closed. It was a nice offer (and where my teacher works actually), but it just didn't feel right. At Clay, I was offered to just work in the clinic seeing primary and urgent care patients of all ages. I was even able to talk them up an extra $10K of which I am very proud of myself. So, I started there on July 1st, and I have my own desk, and I've got to see my own patients (even though I can't write prescriptions for them, yet...so another provider has to write them for me for now). People show me lots of respect as a medical provider, and it's just so awesome. It's amazing how much more revered you are moving from a Registered Nurse to a Nurse Practitioner. I really like it there, and they were all really excited for me to be starting since they already knew me and everything. I share an office with two other providers which is nice so I can have their support and ask questions when I need to. I've already seen some interesting patients, and I'm really enjoying that aspect of it, although I still have so much more to learn.

The most exciting thing I have to report, though, is that I took my board certification through the American Nurses Credentialing Center (ANCC) on July 13th....AND I PASSED! I really though I failed, but I didn't. I'm so excited I could crap my pants! This just makes it all worth it! So now my new credentials are Tonya R. Young, MSN, FNP-BC, and I am a board certified Family Nurse Practitioner! It feels so good to be done! Especially when so many of my classmates still haven't taken it, and I can help them prepare. Now I am working on all the paperwork that goes along with getting ready to practice. I just finished sending in all the paperwork to announce my practice with the board of nursing, and then I will have to apply for prescriptive authority, and then I will have to apply for a DEA license so I can prescribe controlled substances. And throughout all this we are also having to work on a shit ton of paperwork to get me credentialed with all the insurance companies so the company can bill for me. As of right now, I can only see patients that don't have insurance for that reason. There are not many people who come in without insurance that aren't already seeing another provider unless they come in through the urgent care, so I haven't gotten to see many by myself, yet. It gets boring sitting at a desk all day with nothing to do.

And the family is good as well. Russell and I are both losing some weight and have lost a good bit so far which is good. We're trying to get healthy. Our babies (Dexter, Citi, and Gunther) are all doing well. Dexter got a hair cut this summer so he could be cooler. It took a while to get used to, but he started sleeping with us more since he wasn't as hot, so that was a plus. It's all growing back so fast though. He just turned two on July 11th, so now we have to take him to get his hip x-rays so he can be rated for hip dysplasia. His hips should be good since both his parents were.

Anywho, so life is going well for the Young's. :) I get my first huge paycheck next Friday, and they are talking about giving me a lump sum of my annual salary to start out with so that will be freaking awesome. OH, and we bought a new car which I am still in love with. My 2011 Toyota Highlander Limited! :) And we built garden boxes this year, and we are currently growing tomatoes, kohlrabi, corn, green beans, honey dew, watermelon, banana and chili peppers, cucumbers, and potatoes. The garden is actually doing really well, and I've already dug up a few new potatoes which were quite yummy. And the tomatoes will be ripening soon! I'll take some pictures sometime and post so you can see what we did.

Hopefully I won't wait as long again before I post, but you know me. I've just been really busy lately. But good busy. :)

Love,
Tonya <3

Durka Durka

2011-03-11T10:03:00.004-05:00

Wow! I fell off the face of the planet! Things have been so crazy this semester. I think this is the busiest I have ever been! Been doing at least 24 hours of clinicals every week, plus my Capstone project, plus paper writing, plus presentations, plus other homework, plus WORK work. I'm pooped. I napped for 3 hours last night, and then went to bed. Hmph. So what has been new with me?

I recently switched companies AGAIN with my job. I really thought about just not working until I graduated and got a job, but having some extra income is nice. We have a lot of money in the bank to live off, but it was just too scary to think what if that starts dropping, and I don't have a job. No one really wants to hire someone that will only be there for a few months. Especially a nursing job when there is training involved. So I figured out many mistakes I have made regarding the job stuff. I followed the wrong person from Mountain CAP, and I paid for it big time. It finally came to the point where they told me that I was losing the company money (which is their fault, but that is another story), and they were going to no longer pay me for travel time or nonbillable time, and they were going to cut my pay rate for the only billable time that they were going to pay me for. So by the time you calculated everything out and all the work I had to do for them without getting paid, I would only be getting minimum wage-ish....as a Registered Nurse. That is so completely ridiculous that it's not even funny. You would think that cutting my pay that drastically would be illegal, but alas they can apparently do anything they want to me and get away with it. So what did I do? I went to a company that valued my work, and they thought I did a good job....and I took my clients with me. HA! I hate to say it, but it felt nice to take things from them after what they did to me. Anywho...

School has been crazy busy like I said, but this is my last semester, and I graduate on May 14th. I've been a nervous wreck that it's my last semester, and I will be on my own soon, but it's a good thing because I should be making quite a bit of money soon. And I need a new car, so this is good. I've been told by various people that they were started out at anywhere between $65-$80K per year, so I'm uber excited about this. Not to mention the fact that if I work at a rural clinic, all of my student loans will be paid for with a big fat check as soon as I'm approved, so this is fabulous. Now we will only have to worry about Russell's loans.

Faith Mountain is covered in snow this morning. I can't wait until I can go lay in the yard with lots of sunshine while my babies play. Dexter, Citi, and Gunther are all doing well. Citi's getting her teeth cleaned in about a week and a half, so I'm a little worried that she has to have anesthesia for that, but her teeth need cleaned bad, and I think she will be fine. Dexter's a growing boy. He's up to 53 pounds last time I checked. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. Gunther is still a rotten boy. Russell's doing well, and he's been such a help to me. He's always finding something to help me out like making me dinner or doing some dishes or rubbing my back or running me a hot bath. I don't know how I would keep getting through all this crap without him being so sweet. He knows it has been hard for me.

So anywho, that is a quick update of my life. Maybe I will come back again soon!

Automagically

2010-11-02T20:11:00.003-05:00

We have been talking about taking a vacation with our good friends for a while now, but before we were talking about going to Vegas. After that shitty California trip, we decided we did not want to go to Vegas, yet, where all you can do to have fun is spend money. I think we're going to plan a whole family beach trip...meaning us, our puppies, them, and their puppies. We're thinking maybe the Outer Banks in NC where they have lots of dog-friendly beaches and renting a house. It seems really expensive there, so we're also going to look at some closer places to see about prices and such. If we do this, it will probably be this summer before I take my boards. This is going to be awesome because I really don't want to leave Dexter again for a vacation, but this way he comes with me! And I know that he would absolutely looove the beach! And what better way to enjoy a vacation then to go lay out and relax on the beach (for free) with the love of your life and your best friend! This beach trip is a genius idea! And what better way to get ready for my boards then to go on a relaxing vacation!

Which reminds me that I found out that I can start working as a Nurse Practitioner right away as soon as I graduate! Apparently I can see patients and everything, but someone else has to write prescriptions for me until I pass my boards. This is so great because now I can take my time and study right to take my boards instead of rushing to take them right away so I can start working. $70 grand a year plus insurance plus getting all my student loans paid for, here I come! Can May get here sooner? I already know a few places I'm going to apply. I think I will definitely go for Clay where I am doing my clinical rotation if they have an opening because it is so laid back there, they have their own pharmacy, and I already know the people that work there! It's about a 45 minute drive from home, but where am I going to go to work that doesn't have a decent drive associated with it! Umm no where!

Did a crappy job on my test this evening, but I still have two more tests this semester to bring it up. And I have a paper due next week. Ick. But my best buddy Adrienne is coming to see me this weekend! Yummy foods and fun games! I can't wait!

But until then, I have to go back to work tomorrow. I really don't want to. I hate this job. No respect as a nurse. They can suck it. I'm quitting the second I am able.

Christmas is coming soon, and we are poor. Definitely going to have to cut out most of the people we usually buy presents for this year. Hmm, how about the people who don't buy us crap? Yes, that will work. And brothers and sisters that never get us anything in return. And how about their 12 kids, too since we buy them stuff every year and never get anything from their mommies and daddies. I hate to do that, but buying 12 nieces and nephews gifts really adds up. Especially when you can only get them something crappy for around $10 a piece anyway. Who knows. I guess we will see what the bank looks like when the time comes, but we've been spending a lot of money on different things lately, and I'm not working a ton...or getting paid much.

Maybe I'll skimp on Christmas cards this year, too.

Don't judge me.

Oh, and that 10 pounds I said I lost, apparently it was only around 6. Wii fit tells me differently though. But it's still poundage, and I'm expecting lots more to fall off on it's own...automagically. Schwang. Rusty lost 6 pounds, too.

Mr. and Mrs. Awesome Sauce

Ohh...and shows that you should be watching right now. Because I am, and they are awesome. They keep me going week by week....

Dexter
Boardwalk Empire
Weeds
The Big C
Jerseylicious
LA Ink (their real shop isn't the one on the show btw...rip off)
The Biggest Loser
The Walking Dead (new zombie show on AMC based on a comic...so awesome, probably my new favorite...other than True Blood of course)
Scrubs reruns. As always.

This winter Big Love comes on for their last season. And US of Tara which I heart a bunch.

If you don't watch these shows, then shame on you. You should be.

2010-10-31T14:03:00.003-05:00

I don't think I can go back to real life this week. I can already tell it's going to be a horrible week. And I have a test Tuesday, a paper due in a little over a week that I haven't started on, 24 hours of clinical time, and back to a job I hate.

On one happy note...I've lost around 10 pounds without even trying and stuffing my face like mad on 8 days of crappy vacation. Now that's talent.

I'm awesome sauce.

California 2010 Pictures!!

2010-10-28T12:45:00.011-05:00

Farewell beach. I hate you California.

Wow...the beach is not supposed to look like this.

My awesome meal at Red Lobster with fresh wood fire grilled salmon and snow crab legs! Yum!!

Tenacious D live at Blizzcon 2010. Awesome show!

Jack Black on the big screen!

Uh oh.

Russell's worst nightmare...

Did I mention we totally met Kevin Bacon, Tom Hanks, and Bill from Big Love? lolol

Melissa and Joey (our friends that we met on WOW) acting goofy at Universal Studios.

This is the woman who caused us to waste over an hour of our day waiting in line at Universal Studios...

Monday was supposed to be our beach day, but we ended up at Disneyland instead due to crummy weather. We actually had a blast and the lines were short since kiddies are in school and not a lot of people thought the happiest place on earth would be so happy on a cold and rainy day!

While we were at Disneyland, we ate at a BBQ place, and Russell actually ate ribs off the bone!! So proud!

The vacation from HELL!

2010-10-28T11:04:00.003-05:00

California sucks. Like really. Not sure if we will go again, and if we do it will definitely not be Anaheim. I think we took WV with us or at least the black cloud that was over our heads. Cold and rainy in the 60s most of the week. And when it wasn't raining, it was still COLD! So much for my big plans to go and lay on the beach. We started having a day with sun and warm, so we headed out to long beach....on our way the sky turned black....a few minutes after we got there it started raining. It was so cold we had to use our towels as coats. I got to go in about as deep as my thighs, and I think I could have stood the cold enough to get in, but it was raining, and no one else was swimming, and I was afraid I would be eaten by a shark, lol. It was nice to at least see the ocean, but I definitely did not get my ocean fix, and now I am craving it.

We got to go to Knott's Scary Farm, and it was probably the best thing we did the whole trip. It was a billion times better than Fright Farm. They had monsters everywhere, and they really put themselves in the characters, and they scared the shit out of me many many times. I lost my voice because of this. They had awesome mazes, and their rollercoasters were still open for the night. It's a whole new dimension riding a loopty in the dark! We also got to watch this fantastic magic show that was ran by Ed Allonzo (the magician that owned Max's on Saved by the Bell). He did an amazing magic show, and he was so hilarious. He even added perviness to the show. He even started talking about masturbation, and then looked at Russell and said "you know what I'm talking about dude" and then he went to give Russell a high five, and then stopped and said "nevermind I see you're busy" HAHAHA! So funny. There was even a part of the act done by the woman who had no legs and she did an up in the air rope act, and she did a trampoline act. This woman had the biggest arms I have ever seen on a woman that wasn't beefed up with steroids.

Our hotel was terrible. We figured out why it was so cheap. They nickel and dimed you for everything. Parking was $11 per day. We had to pay $50 for one week of internet. There is no continental breakfast, but hey they do have a hotel restaurant on site. They had $3 bottles of water on your desk trying to get you to drink it. And they charged us $3 for a receiving and handling of a package fee that we were never informed about until we were checking out. We even told them ahead of time that we would be receiving a package. And so much for charging of the handling since Russell had to walk to the office to get it himself. For $3 they should have been hand delivering that package to my hotel door and kissing my feet before they left. We even got accused by one of the non-english speaking maids that our room was not our room, and she made us get out by waiving her finger at us. It's so funny that BOTH of our key cards decided to quit working at the same time, and it just happened to be when the maid was in our room wanting to prove that it was OUR room. Did we get an apology from the hotel for the fact that our keys stopped working and caused us grief? No. Not only did they not apologize, but they tried to act like it was TERRIBLE that our maid wouldn't let us in our room...umm hello....she did her job by making sure someone else wasn't saying it was their room to take our stuff. It was YOUR fault that our keys didn't work...not hers. Safe to say we will never go there again. And you should not either. It's the Anabella in Anaheim, CA. Do not go there. Seriously. They also kick you out of their pool at 10pm...and they stop serving drinks at their bar at midnight. Who does that?!?!

The bad luck continued through out our whole vacation. We went to Universal Studios. Apparently they are only open from 10am-5pm in the fall....yet they still charge you FULL price. We got there at 11 due to bad traffic, and then we had to wait in line to buy our ticket for over an hour because the lady working the booth was RETARDED! We finally got in and luckily they were slow enough that we were able to get on the rides we wanted to do one time and then leave. Totally not worth $79 a piece.

We did get to go to this awesome restaurant that was small and off the grid. It was a Brazilian BBQ, and I am craving it right now. They had a bar with typical Brazilian food like black bean stew and white rice and collard greens that were amazing. The biggest part to the restaurant was the BBQ meat! They had 7 rounds of fresh meat brought to your table on a metal stake where the waiter would carve the meat onto your plate right there at the table. As much as you wanted. They had sausage, chicken, pork, sirloin steak, garlic steak and many other kinds of meat. All of them juicy and all of them had a piece to it cooked exactly the way you wanted it! All of the meats were slow roasted all day, and they kept bringing the meat until you said stop. We went twice, and the one time we went we were the only ones there because it wasn't quite dinner rush time yet, and we had star one on one meat treatment. Awesome. I totally wish we had a place like this around here because I would go there every day. Mmmm meat. We also ate at places like Fire and Ice which is a Mongolian grill that you put what you want in a bowl and they cook it right there in front of you (a popular choice from last year as well), Cheesecake Factory, Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster (where I had FRESH wood fire grilled salmon and crab legs), and a very questionable place called Tiffy's where we had the worst service I had ever had. They ran out of coke, our food took an hour and a half and the food was terrible, and Russell ending up crapping his pants the whole next morning and our friend Joey puked. Mmm still thinking about meat. Meat. MEAT!!

Did I mention 60s and raining almost the whole week?? In California....
The weather was better in WV!!

We totally should have just stayed home, relaxed, and spent our $4000 on something else. Because this trip sure was NOT worth it.

OHH, and did I mention when we got back our dogs got lost for 4 hours? They took off after a deer or something, and then just never came back. We searched everywhere! But there is so many woods around here that there would be no way to find them. We thought maybe they were hurt or someone found them and picked them up and took them. We really thought we would never see them again, and you have no idea what that feels like. Imagine you have a baby or child and they are missing. For 4 hours. How would you feel? A neighbor saw them walking up our driveway and came and told us. He said they wouldn't get in his truck and would not follow him which is good because now we know someone would not be able to steal them easily. I immediately jumped on the 4-wheeler and sped down the driveway and picked them up. Poor Russell only saw Dexter when I was coming back up with them and thought Citi was still missing but I was holding her in my arms and she blended in with my shirt I guess. We had a great reunion, and so glad that are home and safe with us! I don't ever want to leave my puppy again!! From now on there will be full family vacations lol.

Umm. Yuck.

2010-09-14T18:29:00.002-05:00

What happens when a certain puppy snarfs a dead rotten animal off the ground and swallows it whole so you can't take it from him? He barfs it up on your bedroom floor at 4 in the morning of course! After coming --><-- this close to purging it on your bed. Luckily it was surrounded by a cocoon of half digested dog food so all I could see was some sort of ear sticking out...otherwise mommy would have been barfing, too! Thanks Dex! I'm guessing either a huge mouse, bird, or flying squirrel. Did I mention that maggots and a big black spot were left in the grass where he snatched it from?

True Blood is officially over until next summer. Finale was a big disappointment. There was no finalizing to it at all. Everything was left open - like a lead up for next season. Seemed like a mid-season episode. They were definitely off-track from the books this season. Again. But I am looking forward to the Harlow/Eric story for next season. And they better do it right!

2010-08-27T15:59:00.002-05:00

I usually despise it when people try to get attention out of another person's loss, but I promise this is not for attention. Someone who was only a year older than me died tragically last night, and it has me scared to my bones. One second you're here, and then the next you are gone. And the scariest part is that it can happen to any of us. We may think that it will never happen to us, but it can, and it will. We could die tomorrow. It just takes one second, and we could be gone. Or someone that we love so much that we can't live without them can be gone. I've always had a big problem with death, and I've gotten pretty good at putting it away and not thinking about it, but something like this just smacks you in the face and brings it all back. I may have never been friends with him, but I hurt for him. I hurt for his young daughter. I hurt for his friends and family. The only thing I ask is that I hope he did not see it coming, and I hope there was no pain. It bothers me that we will never know why something like this happens. So many young people. And somehow I just wait for it to hit closer to home. And it makes me so sick to my stomach.

2010-08-22T15:57:00.003-05:00

I am so not ready for this week to start. School is back (not like I had a summer free, but at least I had 2 weeks to breathe). Job sucks. I so thought that coming to this new company would solve all the job issues, but there seems to be all the same issues, and I'm wondering if they didn't just follow my "supervisor" from the old job to the new job. Possibly going to CAMC if they call with a job offer.

Clinicals went well this summer. My preceptor gave me a great evaluation. I'm hoping to learn a lot more this Fall and be able to apply myself better. I need to do a lot more self-study so I can learn the things I've been missing.

California is in less than 2 months, and I am so ready...well, other than the losing weight part. But I'm so ready for a vacation. I may still have to do class that week, but it will only be our 3rd day there, and not much going on that day. I'm just hoping there won't be a test that week, so I can just relax and enjoy my break. There will be some catching up on clinical hours that I'll have to do, but it will be totally worth it.

Puppies are doing good. Dexter was sick, but some antibiotics fixed him right up. He had a small case of kennel cough. He's so much like my own baby, and I'm so lucky to have him. He makes me laugh all the time, and he's always full of love and hugs/kisses.

I've also been lucky to find a very best friend, Adrienne. She is just so great. We like most of the same things (excluding ranch and sour cream, lol), and she wants to be with me to actually be with me and not because she wants something from me. I just wish we lived closer. She lives in Fairmont, but she's always up for taking turns to stay weekends with each other. Dexter's always depressed when they have to leave us :*(

Faith Mountain is driving us crazy. No privacy whatsoever. Will discuss this more later.

Russell just had a birthday. Big 28. He wanted grilled cheese with bacon in it for his birthday dinner! lol I got him seasons 1-7 of Penn and Teller and some other things, so we've been watching that a lot together.

Did I mention that I hate my job? Where is this magical job that I love?

Oh and I got a scholarship that will give me a stipend of $3600 per semester. I like free money.

True Blood only has 3 episodes left, and that makes me sad...however, Weeds just started on Mondays along with The Big C, so that makes me a little happy.

Think I'm getting sick. Ugh. So not good timing for this.

Schooools out for summer...or not.

2010-06-12T20:21:00.002-05:00

I've been assigned to do my clinicals at Primary Care Systems in Clay. My mentor's last name is Boner...seriously. How will I not giggle every day? I'm nervous because I feel like I don't know anything, and they are going to see right through me. This place is not only a clinic, but they also do urgent care, so that will be a good experience I think. The only crappy thing is it's around a 45 minute drive from home, but almost everything is a long drive for me anymore. I start the week of July 1st.

I had an interview at hospice yesterday. They seemed to really like me and what I had to say, but they said to give them 2 weeks before they let me know because they put an ad in the paper and were going to do more interviews. They didn't come right out and say it, but I'm thinking they are concerned about having to work with my clinical schedule. After all, I have to do 20 hours of clinicals per week for 6 weeks, and 16 hours per week for Fall and Spring semesters. My life is going to suck this year it seems. Oh, not to mention that I will have class on top of that. I also have to keep a log on all the patients I see which takes time, but I think it will be an interesting thing to keep track of to see what all I have done.

I'm trying to learn more with my classes, but there is so much information that it is hard.

Meh.

Memory lane is closed...so why are all the immigrants breaking the baracade?

2010-06-01T10:58:00.003-05:00

WOW,I just found my old Blurty from 2004/2005...the days before the Blogger. I've been reading them, and my life back then sounded much more happy and simple. I was excited about EVERYTHING! And that was the days of my big weight loss. Such motivation I had. Where did it go? I think I was happier because I felt healthier and much better about myself in general. Not that I'm not happy now, but I was more of a giddy person back then, and somehow I have lost some of that along the way. I still think it's because of the weight. Maybe reading these will help me get back in the groove!

Man, I even had cool and witty titles like thee one above!

EXCUSES

2010-06-01T09:46:00.004-05:00

Why do I always have an excuse to not start WW? I'm paying for it. Shouldn't that be incentive enough? I want to lose weight before we go to CA in October and in general, but I always have an excuse to wait. Past excuses: "This week is my birthday; This weekend we're going to visit friends; Russell's mom is having a cookout; First week of work, who knows where I'll end up eating; etc. etc. etc." It's always something. Why does food have to be so important to me? Apparently more important than feeling good about myself. I remember when Russell and I got married and lived in our first apartment, I did WW like there was nothing else. I stuck to it, and I lost a lot of weight. I was even down to the 150s, looking good, feeling good, getting out and exercising because I WANTED to! And BAM, out of nowhere, I got tired of counting points and stopped. And then everything came back, plus a ton more. Why did I do this? I HAVE NO FRICKING CLUE! And that is one of the biggest things that bother me. Because I was doing so well and feeling so good! Why did I let this happen? Now I have more weight to lose than ever. I can't even fit in a lot of my clothes or what used to be loose and baggy now fits. Where do I find motivation? When will the excuses end so I can start? It's like I know how to eat healthy, and I don't at the same time. Breakfast and lunch I know how to eat. Dinners are so hard for me. I'm not a great cook, so it's hard for me to cook healthy for both of us. Every time I look for websites with good healthy EASY recipes, I end up finding ones that have thing I've never even heard of. Oh looky, another excuse. They just pop up everywhere, don't they?

In other news, we're going to Adrienne and Clinton's this weekend, and I am sooo excited! I love seeing them because we're just all friends. The boys are friends, the girls are friends, and we're just all friends with each other, and we get along so well! We all like doing the same things! Even our puppies like each other, and they love to play together! Adrienne and I (and possibly the boys) are going to have a shopping day on Friday! Not that I need to be spending money, but it will be so much fun! Maybe we can talk the boys into watching Sex and the City! So, yet another excuse to eat horribly for the rest of the week and all weekend. Maybe I can get my shit together for next week?! Maybe.

Oh, and we had a great time last night with Russell's parents. We had a weenie roast down by the pond with a big fire! We just hung around for hours and talked and just enjoyed each others company. We're thinking about having a picnic down there for July 4th and doing some fishing! We've seen some HUGE small mouth bass in there, so we're excited to see what we catch!

Long, overdue update.

2010-04-22T13:31:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a while. As always. What has been going on?

Dad is now in jail for his trying to run over a police officer and fleeing, etc. etc. I say good riddance. He is where he belongs. I'm not even sure how long he will be there. I was so worried about running into him now that I live in Braxton, but a judge took care of that for me.
Loralei supposedly had her 3rd child a few weeks ago. Another girl. I hope it eats her.
Russell's sister Kim is pregnant with another boy and due in August.
Brittany is PREGNANT AGAIN and due in November I think. Kylee is around 6 months old. She's really pretty.
We've booked our trip to California for October 17-25th. We're staying at the Anabella which is right beside the Convention Center for Blizzcon. Not sure what all we're going to get into this year, but we have lots of new online friends that we are excited to meet as well as some ones we met last year that we hope are going to make it again, and I definitely want to go to the beach and see Nikki!! This year I hope to get a prescription for Xanax or something for the plane ride because I had an anxiety attack on one of the planes last year. Those things SUCK! One of the planes on the way there and on the way back are only 2-seaters, so hopefully that will help.
I'm majorly disliking my job. Lots of stupid shit going on such as trying to not give me health insurance after was already promised it. And I'm sorry to say it because it makes me sound selfish, BUT I am worth a lot more money than what I'm getting paid right now. In other words, I'm job searching.
School sucks but is over in a week, and then I get 2.5 weeks break. I have a big proficiency exam that I have to take next week that I have to pass with an 85% or better in order to do clinicals. Russell thinks that I'm going to like school more and know that this job will be something that I will like whenever I get into my clinicals. He thinks I'm really going to enjoy assessing and diagnosing people, and I hope he's right. We discussed yesterday what we would have done if we had to do it all over, and he thought he would have done something in computers (which he would have been really good at), and I'm not sure about me. I definitely wouldn't have gotten two degrees before going to MS. Russell thinks I would have went into wound care nursing, and I agree that I really would have enjoyed that. If I wouldn't have wasted all this money getting my masters, then I would still do that now. Gross wounds just sounds like something I would like, lol.
So far the treadmill has been collecting dust. I've only used it like three times so far. I just need to get myself in gear, and I know I will use it more. I've just been really lazy in my small amount of free time that I get lately.
I would love to just quit working and be a stay at home wifey. I don't think I enjoyed it enough when I didn't have a job because I was going through depression and withdrawls from my meds. I miss being home every day to take care of the pups and make my Rusty lunch.
Dexter is still getting huge. He weighs around 48 pounds now (via Wii Fit of course). He likes to act like he's a big mean doggy when there is a "trespasser" or he thinks an animal is outside or something scares him, but he always jumps on mommy's lap for protection while he does his big boy bark and growl, lol. He's so funny. He also likes to jump in your seat while you're in the middle of sitting down because he knows he'll get attention if he's in your seat, lol. I love my puppy so much, and he makes me giggle. I don't know what I would do without him.
Citi still has her splint on from where she tore the ligaments in her leg. She should be able to get it off next week. As of right now, she sounds like a pirate with a peg leg when she walks down the hallway! :)
We had a "work party" on the mountain last Saturday and another one is scheduled for this Saturday. We got most of the horse stables built and a lot of things done on the inside of the building. I don't like having my free time taken away because I feel like I am expected to volunteer my time to help, but these are things that need done. It's also Russell and my only day "off" together, and it makes me mad that he is definitely expected to be there for work even though he is only supposed to work until 11 on the weekends. He only gets one full, real day off on Tuesdays and then half days on the weekends, so that deal kind of sucks. It's hard to tell your parents that they aren't treating you like a real employee...

Well, that's all for now. Maybe I'll update more often. Or maybe not.

2010-03-07T09:11:00.002-05:00

If there are almost 30 towels in your cottage, and you only have 20 people staying there, how do you manage to use all of the towels in one night (bath towels and dish rags). This is the same amount that people typically use in one week...and you used it in one night. And same with the trash bags. How did you use all the trash bags that someone would use in a week IN ONE NIGHT? Seriously? Thank you for ringing our home doorbell multiple times to let us know you needed more trash bags because you used them all IN ONE NIGHT while we were enjoying our only day off together...ish, since Russell already had to sit in the office until noon...but you wait until after that to come ring our home doorbell. Thanks. I think church ladies are the worst ever.

Am I an uber grouch? Yes.

This is going to be a terrible week.

I have to spend my whole day in Charleston Tuesday doing pap smears and who knows what else, then taking a test in the library, and probably class, too, because they like making me drive home in the dark. I hate you WVU.

I invented post-its.

2010-03-02T17:53:00.002-05:00

Things are about to change at work. The social worker that they hired to do the program with me has quit. No 2 week notice. Just quit. So this could be good or bad. I'm going to try to see this as good. This means that I have twice as many clients now because I'll be taking over hers as well (well, I'm assuming this...I haven't spoken to my boss, yet, but there isn't even enough clients to split the case load in two and have two full-time workers). Since I have been only getting 10-13 hours a week, I see this as a good thing. Although, when I say I have only been getting 10-13 hours per week, I mean I have only been getting paid for that much and actually working probably twice that amount. There is so much paperwork, and organizing, and mailing to do, but the job is only based on billable time right now, which means I only get paid for what I can bill the client (i.e. going to a home visit or calling them on the phone). If I'm going to take on this many clients, things are going to have to change. I'm going to request to my boss that the position be changed to a "regular" employee as in I get paid for what work I put into it. If I come into the office, I get paid for it. If I call 40 clients, and only 2 of them answer the phone, I get paid for the time I spent calling all of these clients rather than only getting paid for 15 minutes billable time. I am a busy person. I have three graduate level classes right now. I have a home, husband, 2 dogs, a cat, and goldfish to take care of. I have friends and family I would like to see. And I would like to be paid for the work that I put into something...especially since the program is around 4 months behind and everything is in disarray, and I'm not going to put it back to rights for free. Being organized takes time, and I am not willing to put my free time into it when I can go somewhere else, get paid for what work I do, and probably get paid more. Did I mention that I accepted this job for $6 less than what I was making in Morgantown. And I still don't have insurance and won't for like another 2 months? And my boss doesn't know anything about the program that she monitors? And I had no orientation and have been having to take MY FREE TIME to learn how to do my job? It really sounds like I am crazy for even staring there, BUT they need someone to help, and there are good points to this job. Maybe I should ask for my own desk, too, since there is one empty where someone left a post-it note that said "I quit".

I love post-its.

2010-02-21T22:50:00.002-05:00

I really thought that 2010 was going to be a good year. And so far, I would have to say that it's the same bullshit as 2009. Somehow I always manage to dig myself a hole and fall in it. I'm always so relieved to claw my way back out, but it seems like as soon as I'm standing on flat ground, I jump right back in the hole. It's exhausting. I am so far behind in my classes that I just want to quit and be done with it. I haven't figured out, yet, if it's because I'm too lazy, or I just don't give a shit. Maybe they go hand-in-hand. I have 2 tests this week that I will probably fail like I failed the last one. Not because they are hard, but because I don't do the work required to know the material to do well on the test. I need to be working on a seminar with a group, and all the group members secretly hate me because I haven't come to any of the group meetings, and so far I have not contributed at all...although our project isn't even due until May. But I'm a terrible person for spending my time doing other things. They haven't said anything like this, but I know better.

Ok, so what was written above I wrote last night, never finished it, so it never got published. I'm feeling a little better today. I know I have so much that needs to be done, and I just need to quit whining, quit sitting on my ass, and get it done. I'm not getting many hours at work, yet, my house is a disaster area (hasn't been cleaned in weeks, and you know what this means when you have shed crazy dogs who track mud and dirt inside the house and have accidents, etc), and I am so far behind in my classes. I failed my last test, and I told myself that I was not going to do that again. I have a test Tuesday and one Thursday. The one Thursday is on like 5 or 6 weeks worth of class that I haven't even listened to. The one tomorrow is on Male genitalia and rectum and some other stuff, too, lol. Which reminds me that I actually had to watch a movie last night on how to do a penile and scrotal exam....and a rectal exam....on a live model. I totally saw his butthole which made me giggle, and then I felt a little better. Why can't I just get it together?? Can someone help me GET IT TOGETHER?!

It's President's Day?

2010-02-15T14:57:00.003-05:00

Have you ever had to pee so bad that you couldn't even make it up your driveway and into the house for the bathroom? That happened to me today. Let's start from the beginning...

I got up early, showered, dressed, and even put on makeup to go into work. I haven't been in a while because of how bad the roads have been up here on the mountain. I was so proud of myself. So I pull into the typically full work parking lot only to find that there are merely three cars in the parking lot. Then I go to the door, and of course it's locked. And why is that? Because it's president's day. Really? Yes, I really went out for nothing today. So I went and had breakfast at Shoney's to see mommy. I was there for quite a while, and mom gave me a late house warming gift which I will takes pictures of and post later (hint: it went up on my mantle). And I also bought a couple decorative things to go up on the walls (which I will also post later). And btw, I was very proud of myself for that, too, today because I put all these things up on the wall instead of setting them aside to do later. Anyway, back to the point. I had to pee before I left Shoney's, but I figured it would be fine until later, so I left.

Then I went to go get Russell's car checked at Skeeter's which was a waste of my time, and I needed to go to the bank, so I went to park, and guess what...it's president's day, the bank is not open. Well, shit. So, I went on my merry way and stopped at the animal hospital to pick up some frontline, chews, and interceptor. I had to pee there, too, but did I? No. Then I had to stop to pick up Russell some pepto, and the I was on my way home.

I was fine until I was a few miles from home, and the pee bomb hit me. I tried so hard to hold it. It was so bad that I thought I was going to pee in Russell's car seat, and then he would have been maaaaad. I needed to pick up the mail so I pulled over beside the mailbox, and I could not move. I had to pee so bad that if I moved one inch, I was going to pee in my pants and on said car seat. I finally came to a point where I could get out of the car, but I knew 100% that I would not make it up to the house to pee...so I pulled down my pants by the dumpster on the side of the road, and I peed. Do not judge me.

Oh, and btw....the mail didn't run today. Because IT'S PRESIDENT'S DAY! You think I would have gotten this by now.

Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris

2010-02-12T11:26:00.002-05:00

Great book and series! I actually made a gasp noise out loud while reading this book. It wasn't until after I was finished that I found out that this will be the fourth and final book in the series. It does end with questions being answered, but you can always hope that something else can come out of it. But apparently, she has decided that she will not be writing any more in this series. Everyone should should read these books. Charlaine is such a great writer!

Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks!

2010-02-11T19:29:00.002-05:00

My makeup obsession has been getting progressively worse this week. For instance, I have been browsing many makeup websites (i.e. clinique, e.l.f., sephora, etc.) and clicking on many things to buy and then not buy them! I finally made a "small" purchase today just to make myself feel better. I did not get the clinique gift with purchase, however I did buy from clinique.com. I purchased a full-sized bottle of 7 day scrub which is the bomb! I got a sample size from a free gift with purchase a while back, and I have used the whole bottle which does not happen a lot for me, so I decided it was worth the $18 to get some more.

I highly recommend this product. It really makes your skin glow, and it gets rid of all the yuckies and flakies on your face. It really makes your skin smooth, and you can use it on your hands and your lips as well! And because I bought this, I got two freebies!

First is the Super City Block Oil-Free daily face protector SPF 40 sample. This product had 5 star reviews. It not only protects your skin from the sun, but it's tinted for a slight sheer foundation type coverage, and it covers the oil on your face. I'm really excited to try this. They also have a full-sized product in SPF 25 if you need less of a coverage from the sun (which I would probably get if I bought the larger product).

Secondly is my trial size of Clinique Happy! I have wanted to get Happy for years now, but I don't know if I would like it enough to use a huge bottle (which is $40 for their smallest size), so I was happy to get this trial size to use for a while to make sure I REALLY like it before I spend that much money on a huge bottle and then not want to use the whole thing.

And no I am not against homosexuals (as per my title). I'm just watching "But I'm a Cheerleader" and I think it's funny! I looove that movie!

And I just realized that none of the stuff I am getting from clinique is actually makeup, but I'm realizing that I am having fun being more of a girl. If I could just lose some weight, I would be one hawt chic...with my cool makeup and good smellies. My goal is to be able to wear a bathing suit in public on the beach this summer (whether it be a one piece or a two piece) without wanting to stay covered up with a robe the whole time. Still trying to get Russell to decide on my treadmill!!!

2010-02-09T22:22:00.001-05:00

New blog banner...looks like crap, but I made it myself, so here's to working on a better one!! :)

formspring.me

2010-02-07T16:04:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/iloverustl

Soap Box

2010-02-06T22:06:00.002-05:00

I'm going to hop on my soap box for a while and tell you what I think. What is so wrong and scary about assisted suicide? Those who fight against this and think it is so evil have not watched someone lay there and suffer as they die. Yes, death is scary. I am one to admit that because death is one of the biggest fears that I have. So much so that once I get to thinking about it, it makes me cry and want to puke. I have stayed up many nights thinking about this. Death is fucking scary! BUT, suffering is also scary. I think if I were terminal, there were no options to save me, and I was just waiting to die a slow and painful death, I would want to be able to make my own choice whether I wanted to die slowly or die with dignity. I watched Scrubs the other day, and it was about a patient that was terminal, and the way she was going to die was awful. She would slowly become paralyzed until all she could do would be to lay there until he lungs stopped working and she suffocated. She wanted to end her life on her own terms, and I think that is a very brave thing. She had already said goodbye to everyone she loved, so why put yourself AND your family through that. Why do we allow animals the dignity of not suffering, but we do not allow people the same right. If you had witnessed someone miserable and in pain waiting to die, then you would understand. We give them morphine and every drug in order to keep them "comfortable" while they die, so why can't we allow them to go in peace. Sorry about my soap box, but I just saw a commercial for a Dr. Kevorkian movie, and it made me think. Thinking about death is so upsetting for me, but sometimes I just can't help it. There have been many times where Russell has had to talk me down or get my mind on other things because I have been on the verge of freaking out. It's been a long time since that has happened. Maybe it was the crazy pills. Ok, time to start thinking of something else.

We just watched Temple Grandin, and it was such a wonderful movie. I can't believe how amazing of a person she is. Autism is such a hard thing, and she was strong enough to break free from some of the prisons of the syndrome. I would love to meet her.

I've been thinking hard about some other things lately, too. It has been a hard process the past couple of days. It is very difficult when something that you have long feared smacks you straight in the face. It's not such a bad thing because sometimes when that happens it can steer you in the right direction and can cause the change in your life that is much needed. I'm hoping this is the case because if not, then the pain was for nothing.

In other news, we broke the bed today. And we still haven't fixed it. We'll possibly be sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight, hahaha!

The Buzz...buzzzzzzzzzzz.

2010-02-04T17:07:00.005-05:00

I recently bought a bunch of new products from Sephora.com, and I wanted to let you know what I think of a few of them. I recently stumbled upon a make-up brand called urban decay. I'm not sure if anyone else has ever heard of it because I don't think there are any stores in WV, but I loooooooooooove it!! It is more of an edgy kind of make-up, but they also have neutrals, so you can do either or mix and match. I actually bought a few of their products to try. I read rave reviews about their 24/7 glide-on eye pencil in zero (black), and boy were they right. It is freaking awesome!! I have never used an eyeliner like this before. It does exactly what the name implies....glides on. It's so creamy and just draws right on you without having to go over and over the same spot just to make a tiny little mark. It also smudges and blends very easy to get the look you want, but it dries within a couple minutes into a waterproof line that does not budge. I don't think I will ever use another eyeliner again!! They have a bajillion colors from zealous black (zero) to bright aquamarine (electric) to brilliant deep copper (lucky). Some of the pencils even have silver sparkles or gold glitter within the color. I want to try more colors, but for right now I just spent a lot of money on make-up so I may hold off on that. I DEFINITELY recommend this pencil, and I think everyone should go to their website and buy some now!!

Another product I bought from urban decay is their Eyeshadow Primer Potion. Just like the pencil, it is awesomeness. I have only used it once or twice so far, but it is fabulous! It makes a very nice canvas for your eyeshadow. It works well especially if you wear make-up for a long time during the day because it makes your eyeshadow stay put longer, it makes the eyeshadow a more true to form color (more vibrant), and it keeps your eyeshadow from making the little creasies that I hate so much. It swipes on creamy with an angled brush, and it dries almost instantly. I would definitely buy again if I ran out, but it's not something that I absolutely need. Notice that it also comes in a cutsie bottle! :)

I bought more goodies, but I'll review more of those later. Everything is going well for me right now. The job started off kind of frustrating. No one really wanted to train me because everyone had so much on their plate already. The company is having financial problems right now because they don't have enough money since they haven't had people working certain programs lately because of people leaving to go elsewhere. And of course...the economy (insert Twilight Zone music). AND I don't get paid for a typical hourly rate. I get paid for what they call "billable time" which means if they get paid for what I'm doing, then I get paid. Which means I could possibly be doing tons of work that I won't be paid for. Everyone keeps telling me that you have to be creative to get paid, and this is very different than what I am used to, so that has had little bells and alarms going off in my head. I haven't exactly been stressed, but frustrated and a little disappointed because I was really looking forward to this job. So since things weren't starting out the best, I told myself that I was going to stick it out for a bit, dig my nose in while I am getting paid by the hour for orientation, and see if I can figure it all out. Today was my 6th day there, and it's already getting better. I'm not working billable time, yet, until next week, BUT I'm feeling more comfortable with what I need to do. I'm really excited to be able to get out there and help people that really need it. And I know that I can get this billable nonsense worked out. Plus I have a couple family members in the program, so I can get paid to just go visit them, lol. It is really nice to feel like I'm a part of a team, and that by doing my job I actually make a difference. I didn't feel that way in the hospital because I am one of many. If I don't do the job then a hundred people will line up to take my place. This job is different. Not everyone is made to be able to do this job, and I feel proud that I am. Everyone at the office is so nice, and they accepted me from day one as part of the team. They seemed grateful that I was there to help. I'm really happy to have this job even though it doesn't pay as much as I would like. It's nice to feel like I'm contributing to our family once again. And I've enjoyed making myself look pretty for work. I've really been getting into the make-up stuff lately (which if you know me well enough, then you know I RARELY wear make-up unless it's a dressy occasion). I've been having fun playing with my new products, and I'll be doing some more personal reviews on these products soon. :)

Love,

Me.

2010-01-13T15:28:00.002-05:00

Still no word from my job interview. I called and got a voicemail, so I left a message. It's at least common courtesy to call someone and let them know even if they did not get the job so they don't sit around thinking about it forever and a day. I have better things to think about....like my ever growing list of homework and school decisions.

Bootylicious

2010-01-10T11:04:00.002-05:00

You know what's funny? You'd think that weighing yourself and seeing that you've gained 15 pounds in the past few months would get your ass moving to want to lose the weight. I am so uncomfortable in my body right now that I can't even stand to be naked to take a shower. I know that sounds stupid, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm looking into getting a cheap treadmill, so I'm hoping that if I find and buy one, then I will be motivated to diet as well. How did food become so important to me? Why would someone choose eating whatever they want over being comfortable in your own skin? I do not have the answer to this, but I would love to hear from someone who does! Maybe this knowledge will kick start me into a healthier lifestyle. I would love to do Jenny Craig. I hear that the food is awesome, and of course it takes the thinking out of losing weight. It's so expensive, but I think it would get me used to eating healthier foods and also cutting down to the right portion size. If whatever job I get pays decent, then I just may do it for a while to get me started, then switch over to weight watchers to continue. I've done this before. I lost a lot of weight eating healthy and exercising, and then I just quit. I have no idea why, and that bothers me. I'm at the heaviest weight that I have ever been. It is ridiculous how little willpower I have when it comes to food. Chips? Of course eating that is worth being fat for...but it's not. Why can't I get that through my head?

They took our JERBS!

2010-01-08T12:30:00.002-05:00

I finished reading "The Pact". It was a very heartbreaking book, but very good also. I definitely recommend reading it sometime. My next book will probably be school books for a while. I am determined to actually learn this semester, so I'm going to try my best to keep up and read the chapters assigned.

This snow is getting so annoying. It just keep piling up and up and up. At least we still have power this time. I can endure any amount of snow as long as I have my electric and water!

I've been offered the job at CAMC, but I would really not rather take it unless I have to. Thankfully, I just got a call today, and I have an interview on Monday morning for Mountain Cap in Sutton. The job is Right from the Start project coordinator, so I would be getting clients, and educating them on their pregnancies and infant care for the first year of life. I would also be able to help those mothers in need that do not have clothes, diapers, cribs, etc. by working with other organizations to get them what they need. It sounds like a great program, and I am excited for the interview. I don't think I'm going to get paid what I would like, but I am willing to take a pay cut to do something that I find interesting and could possibly enjoy doing.

School starts next week. I have tons of stuff going on, so hopefully I won't have any trouble getting back into the groove of things.

10th Sookie Stackhouse!! Due May 2010.

2010-01-02T23:36:00.000-05:00

This could be the year.

2010-01-02T23:01:00.002-05:00

Just finished reading Sookie Stackhouse for the second time all the way through. I love those books so much. They are very important to me, and I feel like such a part of their lives when I am reading them. I cannot wait until the 10th book comes out in May. I'm expecting it to be a good one since so many questions were left unanswered in the most recent one. They have the first chapter available on Charlaine's website already, but unfortunately you cannot make predictions on this one based on the first chapter. The whole chapter is very vague, but did answer one question of mine from the end of the previous book. Since I have to wait so long for the next installment, I'll tell you about some books that I am reading now and some books that I am planning on reading.

Right now I am ready "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. She's the author that wrote "My Sister's Keeper" which is a fantastic book. Russell bought this one for me for Christmas. It was a very thoughtful gift since he did research to find a new book that I hadn't read, but he knew I would like and appreciate. The book is about young love...a boy and a girl that grew up in houses next to each other. For some reason or another, they made a suicide pact, and the boy killed the girl so she wouldn't have to do it herself, and then he was supposed to kill himself afterward. I don't mind telling you this since this information is all on the first page. But where this is going to lead, I am not sure. So far it has kept my interest. I have a hard time reading a book if it doesn't catch my interest in the first chapter, so kudos to Mrs. Picoult for a great jumping off point.

Some other books that I'm wanting to read in the near future:

"The Time Traveler's Wife"
"Grave Secret" (another Charlaine Harris series - book 4)....I do recommend her other works!

And I know there are many others, but I am getting tired all of the sudden, so I will have to think of this more next time.

Nighty night!

2010 Goals

2009-12-28T10:58:00.003-05:00

2010 is approaching so soon. I'm hoping this year is a better year. I usually try not to set new year goals because why would I need a new year to do something good for myself, but I'm thinking a few new goals at any time doesn't hurt you, but possibly help you in some way.

I want to be healthier and feel good about my own body. I'm no longer going to say I want to lose such and such pounds because they never works out, and then I end up feeling like crap because I didn't lose that such and such pounds. I want to feel healthier and look healthier. I want to make better food choices (including portions), and I want to be more active.
I want to enjoy my job (assuming I actually get one). Everyone needs to make money, but I want to like what I do to make that money. I'm tired of wishing days away.
I want to be more active in the learning process. This means I want to read the things I am supposed to read for class to learn what I will need to know in the future. I want to know these things, but I am too lazy to be active about it, therefore I just float through class to make it.
I also want to learn to be a better cook. It's hard being out here in the middle of nowhere where you can't just go out or order out food any time you want. Instead you have to scrounge for bologna, or cook something. I just bought a paula dean cookbook, so here is to one step in the right direction. Mmm, that's tasty ya'll! lol

Well, this just seems like a bunch of rambling to me, but oh well. I'm also actually thinking about doing a new 101 goals in 1001 days. I feel that I have changed a lot since I made those goals, and I have more things I want to do. Maybe I'll just make a new one and work on both. Who knows.

New topic. So I got a call today from CAMC for a daytime job. She is supposed to call me back soon for an interview. I know I need a job. It's so nice to have money and benefits and not worry about buying whatever you want whenever you want. I am so not good with budgeting because I haven't really had to before. But I really don't want this job. I think I want a job at a place where you are not just a blip on the radar. When you work at a hospital this big, you usually do not mean a thing, and it's hard to make good working relationships because there are so many people. It would be nice to work with the same small group of people and to seem like you actually make a difference in that place for what you do. I still don't know exactly what it is that would make me happy, but I'm hoping to find it soon. Life is too short to do something you hate everyday...even if it does mean getting a paycheck.

2009-12-15T15:44:00.000-05:00

JOBJOB, where art thou?

Looking back.

2009-11-15T23:09:00.002-05:00

What has happened to my peppy personality? Russell and I were discussing this tonight. I was posting an ad for our trailer on Craig's List, and I couldn't find pictures of the trailer, so I was looking through my old blogs in 2006 to find them. I read some of my old posts along the way, and they seemed so optimistic. I liked school. I liked my job. I posted twice as much as any other year...but about happier stuff. And things that made me laugh. And tons of pictures. It was so nice to see these pictures that I haven't seen in a while. I wanted to learn, and I talked about experiences I had - new things I had never seen before. I think this was right after the time I had lost so much weight. Is my happiness and my attitude based on how much I weight or do I just feel that much better about myself and about everything else. I guess it would be the latter.

So if this is the case, and I could feel soooooo much better losing weight, then why do I continue to eat the way I do and sit on my ass.

I have no idea.

New home?

2009-11-09T11:34:00.003-05:00

So we are here. I need to take some new pics and update you all. The house feels more familiar now, but still not our home. It will get there slowly. I don't like the wasps in the house or the mice (which may or may not be gone now). We finally got our new stove and fridge yesterday. They are fab. We have to work on getting the water hooked up to the fridge today so we can have water and ice. Yay for crushed ice. Today, we are supposed to be getting the satellite dish hooked up, so we can feel a little more normal with tv. I'm going to the grocery store today to stock up on foods, so that will probably be the most exciting thing I do today. I need to start cracking down on the job front, but I just can't make myself do it. Anyone have a good resume they can send me to help me make my own fabulous? I would much appreciate it. Well, off to get some things done. Will post some more later.

Rooster or Citi?

2009-11-02T00:26:00.001-05:00

The climb

2009-10-04T20:39:00.003-05:00

So it is decided.

We are moving. Definitely moving. At the latest on October 30th. Scary huh? Leaving this shit hole trailer we call home. Haven't decided if I will miss Morgantown...yes, I know I will because everything is at your fingertips here. And even though I hate this trailer, I will still miss it because it has been our home for 3 years now, and it holds many good and bad memories. This new house is beautiful, quiet, peaceful, and CLEAN! We're going to have a king size bed, and I'm so excited about that because I can have all four of my babies sleeping with me. Still haven't found a job. Maybe it's cause I'm afraid that I won't find anything worth wanting, so I haven't been looking as much as I should. At least Russell will be making a pay check. I guess we'll be keeping the trailer for a bit before we sell it because there will still be a need to stay in Morgantown for multiple days with Rusty still finishing his lab work.

And if you didn't notice, it is now the five of us. Let me introduce you to.....

DEXTER!!!

It was love at first sight between mommy and puppy. The second I picked him up at the airport, he gave me big kissies! He is growing so fast - already bigger than Citi, and he is only 12 weeks old! I'll post more later with more pics, but he is definitely a momma's boy. Love him!

NEW HOUSE PICS!

2009-08-07T21:32:00.007-05:00

I promised you pics, and here they are!! There is so much more to see, but this is a good start.

This is the loft. Notice the huge primitive hangings on the wall.

View down into the living room. Gas fireplace.

Loft area.

Kitchen with beautiful stove. Hope she leaves it! lol

Another pic of the kitchen. The sliding door leads into a walk-in pantry.

Dining room. Sliding glass door leads to the back deck.

Guest bedroom.

Another pic of the guest bedroom.

I think this is the first floor bathroom.

Hallway.

Hallway and area beside laundry.

Primitive wallpaper in master bedroom!

Master bedroom with huge skylight. Love the colors!

Front porch.

House on right, office on left. Notice how they hook together so you can walk from one to the other.

Front porch.

Front door.

Front door from the inside.

Living room, kitchen, dining room.

Living room/Dining room.

Stairs and loft.

Stairs.

I cannot wait to live here!

MOVING!!!!

2009-08-02T13:15:00.006-05:00

Rusty and I are moving! We don't know when exactly, yet, but it will most likely be October or before depending on when the people are able to find a new house. Faith Mountain is a non-profit retreat for non-denominational ministries. These people decided to sell the place because they wanted to move back to Ohio which was closer to their family, but they wanted whoever bought the place to provide the same purpose as they do now. They are selling the whole 250 acres and all the buildings and furnishings in the cabins for the price of just their home (pictured above). Russell's mom fell in love with the place, and she wants Russell to run the whole thing, which means we will be living in that gorgeous house in Rosedale, WV. She has so many ideas of what to do with the place. The house is only like 12 years old, and it is gorgeous inside in out. I don't have any other pictures at the moment, but I'm supposed to be getting some through email in the next day or two, so I will definitely post a bunch of pictures. The pond pictured above is around 2.5 acres (so actually considered a lake), and has a side dock and a floating dock. We're planning on making a sandy beach area, and it is stocked with many fish. There are 3 cottages to rent and a large cedar house. There are hiking trails, and the whole place is just perfect. All of our bills are going to be paid for, and Russell will be making a salary. We're already looking for a new puppy (Russell wants an Australian Shepherd). We are so excited, and I cannot wait to move!! I'm not too happy about having to drive a good ways for employment, and it will take a lot of getting used to not having anything I would want within a 15 minute drive, lol. AKA WALMART!!!! The house also has a whirltub and a gas fireplace. It has 2 large bedrooms, a loft, and 2 full bathrooms. The master bedroom has a huge skylight above the bed!! There is also a large office with a sink and stove hookup, an extra room, and a full bathroom adjoining the house. It has a front porch and a deck on the back. There is a gorgeous view from every window. There is a two car garage, a basement with a pool table that they are leaving...and the basement has a kitchen area, laundry room, and another full bathroom. So that is four full bathrooms altogether lol. A lot of toilets to scrub. There is a fire pit in the front yard. A laundry room on the first floor. A kitchen and dining room area with a huge walk-in pantry! The master bedroom has primitive wallpaper which I am extremely in love with and have always wanted to decorate in, and she has huge primitive artwork on the walls that she may be leaving. She is a fabulous decorator. The whole house has fantastic hardwood floors (GREAT for cleaning and Russell's allergies!!). We've already been looking for new furniture to buy! We want new living room furniture, huge front loader washer and dryer (I'm trying to talk Russell into getting me Electrolux! in red or turquoise depending on color of the wallpaper which I think is a maroony color)(also I think we can get this stuff tax exempt since it is nonprofit), and a whole bedroom set (hopfully a king size bed with headboard and footer, chest of drawers, another set of drawers with a large mirror, and bedside tables. I also have my hope chest but not sure where I'm going to put it, yet. We may also need a new fridge and a stove if they take theirs (the stove is old fashioned, really expensive, and she may be leaving it since it is so wide). It looks kinda like below, but is all white.

Check out the website and tell me what you guys think. As soon as we get moved in and settled, you're all invited to come over and play!! I'll actually have to keep this place clean! So I'm going to go ahead and start packing up things here we won't need and get rid of a bunch of stuff so it's not chaos when we do move. As soon as we get pictures, we're going to start buying furniture I think...we're going to be storing it in Russell's mom and dad's house in Frametown until we get to move. We're going to have well water which I will also have to get used to being a city girl. We are so lucky and blessed. I guess I will have to watch my foul mouth and stop saying the "F" word all the time since we will be around church people a lot, lol. And pron will have to be limited HAHAHA! I also want a treadmill in the basement....I hope they will leave theirs!! lol

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-01T15:00:00.002-05:00

I looked down at my finger today, and I saw a big dent in the side of it. I almost started freaking out and thinking of why the hell I would have a dent in my finger. Well, it turns out that instead of writing with my finger in the air like it has been habit for me lately, I wrote like I normally do which created a dent mark in the side of my ring finger!! I wrote normal and didn't even realize it. Awesome!

My first physical therapy appointment is next Wednesday. I hope it goes well. Here's to bending my finger normally!!!

Itchy gitchy yaya dada.

2009-06-30T14:16:00.003-05:00

I spend waaaaay too much money. I know this, and yet I still go and buy buy buy. Like today for example, I went to Sams and Walmart for some grocery goodness. Did I really need to buy a 4 pack of chlorox wipes? Did I really need a 20 pack of swiffer replacements? No. But I buy anyway. Maybe because I can. We never had money to just spend in my family. It was always coupons, sales, and scrimping. We didn't just buy things whenever we wanted to. That probably had mostly to do with the fact that my dad drank and gambled all our money away, but it's not like we were rich to begin with. It's nice to be able to buy whatever you want whenever you want it. This might get me into trouble one of these days, but for now I am enjoying it. Maybe I should just enjoy it a little less.

I'm getting more into photographs and decorating. I've bought more picture frames, and it's nice to have a new multipurpose printer that scans, copies, prints, faxes, and whatnot because I can print off any photo I want. Mom is also sending me some old photos of family members like my great grandma and grandpa at a young age, etc. They're old black and white photos that she had at the reunion, and she asked me if I wanted copies of them, so I figured that I could get a collage frame and put them in there.

I'm also getting rid of a whole bunch of shit. This is ridiculous how much crap we have that has been here that we haven't even touched or laid eyes on since we moved here. Gotta go. So far I have 5 garbage bags full of junk....and that's just from clothes and some stuff out of the guest bedroom. I haven't even finished that room, and I have even dared touch the office, yet. That is going to be a lot of shit. We still have a whole box full of the playstation ONE and bunches of copied games. How long do you think it's been since we've even played it?? AT LEAST 5 years or more. Gone.

Massive updates and such

2009-06-29T12:43:00.002-05:00

Since I haven't posted since forever and a day, I thought would give it a go. The finger is healing quite nicely. I do have a nice deep scar that you can definitely see and feel. The tip of my finger does not bend, but I'm supposed to start physical therapy on it. I think it's mostly due to all the scar tissue, not bending it for so long, and all the tendons and ligament healing tight. I got the splint off last week, and let me tell you that it is heavenly to not have to wear it. I'm supposed to wear it when I sleep, but I haven't been because I'm a bad girl. So let's hope that the finger can get back to normal because I'm tired of having sloth finger.

I started back to work last week. It is definitely hard to go from being off for a whole month to getting up at 4am again. Not fun. But work is okay so far. Still trying to get used to putting IVs in and such since I don't have much experience with that. It makes me nervous, but I'm still trying to make myself just get in there and do it.

We went to Ohio this past weekend for our family reunion. It's been so long since I got to go. I missed everyone, and it was good to see them. It will never be the same without my great grandma and grandpa there, but it's still nice. Got lots of good yummy food. Got to go hang out with a bunch of funny drunks. Some of my favorite quotes from the weekend:

"I just stuck my ass right up to that fan and farted." -my cousin Andy's boyfriend drunk as a skunk...he also mentioned playing "covered wagon" lol
"Well that son of a bitch just popped right in there and right back out!" -my great uncle Carson during a game of throw the washer in the hole (lol I don't know the real name for it, but it's fun as hell)

We had a great time and a lot of good laughs. I'll post some pics of my family when mom sends them to me. We also played a rendition of an auction where we buy tickets 6 for $5 and you put the tickets in a bag under the item you want, and then they draw names for that item. Well someone brought one of my great grandma's quilts, and I was hell bent on taking it home with me. We all know my weird and twisted fascination with blankets, and of course it is one made by the hands of my great grandma which makes it extra special, so I put like 18 tickets in that bag alone, lol. AND I WON IT. I was so excited. I thought for sure that luck would not be on my side and someone that put one ticket in there would have gotten it, but I did. And it still smelled like her house. I'm actually going to put this one to use unlike all the others that are in a space saver bag in the closet for safe keeping.

Some books that I have been reading...

I love Charlaine Harris books!! Her most famous is of course Sookie Stackhouse, but she is such a great writer. The Lily Bard series above starts out slow but I thought each book got better and better. There are five books total, and I really recommend reading them.

I also just started My Sister's Keeper which is an excellent story so far. I'm not even half way through, but I really look forward to reading the rest. And I definitely want to see the movie to see how it compares to the book.

I had also been playing a lot of DS since Russell bought it for me for my birthday. I sat for hours on end playing Viva Pinata. Awesome game. Even as I sit here typing, I am thinking about starting a new game and playing it all over, but Russell seems to think I should try something new, lol. They need to come out with another one.

Sloth finger??

2009-05-25T20:37:00.005-05:00

I started my new job last week. They gave me a GREAT mentor named Mary. She is so sweet and very patient. I pretty much just followed her around and did some little things on the first day. My second day I got to do a little more hands-on. I put in a couple of IVs, and it seemed to be going well. I'm very nervous about doing so many IVs because I don't have a whole lot of experience with that coming from the ICU since most people already had a line in place.

So apparently I am told that I have the worst luck ever, and I am a very clumsy person. I'm always doing something to hurt myself...twisting ankles, stubbing toes, splinters, bumps, bruises, scratches. You name it, I do it, lol. My second day of work, and my coworkers already know I'm the clutz-girl. I go and get my finger shut in an automatic door that I pound on and still won't open. I had to yell for someone to come stand in front of the sensor just to get my finger out. Before I knew it, I had 20 people standing around me and blood dripping everywhere. They wheeled me down to the ER where I spent 5 hours of my day. They called Russell for me, but they only told him that I mashed my fingers some and was in the ER not to freak him out. So he showed up, and I showed him this.....

I think his mouth dropped open a bit. I really don't think he expected it to be that bad since as stated before I hurt myself a lot. So they said they had to start IV antiobiotics since the door was so dirty, and I had an open wound (see picture with dirt all over fingers...don't they clean?!). I told the guy right away that his best bet would be to go for the hand since my veins suck. Of course he didn't listen, and I ened up with two blown veins before he finally got one in my HAND. I still have a huge bruise on my arm. They gave me the IV antibiotics, I had many x-rays, and then they gave me Morphine. I do not wish this on anyone. I instantly wanted to puke, and my legs started to tingle and went numb. Yuck. And then the mean resident came back with her big needle. She did a full block on my finger which means the whole finger was numbed. This was the worst pain I have ever felt. Let me tell you, I almost could have left the finger crooked. I could feel the needle hitting the back side of my finger, and it was not pleasant. After that she popped my finger back into place, and Russell said it sounded like taking the cap off a snapple. Then they meticulously washed the wound and made it bleed to get all the nasties out of it. Then she stitched me up, bandaged and splinted the finger, and I finally got to go home and SLEEP. I've been having to take 4 antibiotics a day. I'm off work for at least 2 weeks while the wound heals, and then they will take my stitched out and let me know if I can go back to work or not. I would say if I do go back then that I will probably be on light duty since I have to wear this splint for 6 weeks, and I'm not supposed to be getting the finger wet or lifting any weight with this hand (although that's kinda impossible unless I want to sit on the couch and not move for 6 weeks). I'm ready for the stitches to be out now. My finger is still blue, and it itches like crazy. Still no signs of infection, so that is a relief. I thought for sure I would end up with MRSA. But at least I don't have to have surgery. The orthopedic surgeon said the tendons still seemed to be intact, and that I should regain full range of motion of the finger after some time. Good news! The wound seems to be healing pretty well.

And yes, my long ass vacation is coming up soon, and we're planning on going camping for some of it, and visiting home some as well. I'm excited! Also, I need to go swimming bad. They need to open the damn pool up around here. Well, I'm off to go watch more True Blood. Best. Show. Ever!

What's the deal with my brain. Why am I so obviously insane.

2009-04-22T20:14:00.002-05:00

I love that song.

Anyway, big changes coming. I accepted a new job in the pre/post anesthesia care unit...aka before and after surgery. My last day in the ICU is May 14, and I'm actually sad at the moment. I'm sure if I had a really bad day there...again...that my mind would change pretty quick, BUT as of right now I'm sad. I like most of the people I work with and it seems that I am just now feeling like people like having me around. For this, I will miss the ICU. I think I will also miss doing a few other things like changing nasty wound dressings (lmao, I know I am gross) and things like that. But I will not miss feeling like the bottom is always going to drop out. Who knows, the stress for me may be just as bad in the new place, but then it's just time to keep looking because I am totally done with this stressful unhappiness that I have been carrying around for so long. I am too young to be bitter, yet I am. I'm ready to be care-free, happy, and loving life. I'm still not there, but I am working on it. I may be able to blame my problems on someone else like some would say I have the right to do. A stress-filled childhood a lot of times leads to a stressful life. Maybe this is why I am a "chronic worrier" or always waiting for that bottom to drop out because that is what I learned. That is me apparently. But I'm through with it. I don't blame anyone but myself. I allow myself to be this way, and now I'm trying to reverse it. It's not an easy process, but I'm working on it. Let's hope this job is the change I am looking for.

In other news, I am totally ready to go camping! I want to go so bad. I'm ready for campfires with Rusty and me cuddling in our tent with our books! It's so relaxing and care free (until the huge storm comes and we're trying not to let our butts touch the ground so we don't get struck by lightening! lol). Oh and this time we're going to plan a little better so our coolers don't get attacked by ricky raccoon who feels the need to open the cooler and sit in it. Maybe his butt was hot or something. Maybe we can go for my birthday!! Unfortunately it always seems to rain on my birthday, plus I am owed a trip to red lobster.

2009-04-16T10:38:00.002-05:00

What the hell do I want? Surely that's an easy question. I want to be free from all this bullshit. I don't want to have to go to work today. It's not healthy to sit here and just worry about the fact that you HAVE to go into work today. I was hoping this change would come sooner, but it looks like they're dragging out the process.

*Cross your fingers* Job change in the near future.

2009-03-29T20:49:00.002-05:00

I just realized where my unnatural obsession with freezer pops comes from.

THE SUTTON POOL where I would ride my bike to and from every day of the summer!!

I had such a nice tan in those days.

Something to make you smile.

2009-03-29T20:05:00.002-05:00

Today is the first day I've had in a REALLY long time at work where I actually enjoyed myself and was happy. Now don't expect this is a big change for me, and that it's going to be like this from now on because it was just a one day thing, but it was great. And I think I even did a little happy dance.

My patient was really sick. He was in a coma and not responding at all except to painful stimuli (i.e. if you pinched him, he would pull away from it). He wouldn't even open his eyes. This patient had a huge family, and when I say huge, I mean I had never seen a family this big before. It was awesome to see so many people loving and supporting him. They were at his bedside almost the whole day (probably 20 different people in one day).

One of his doctors came in to talk to the family today, and he bluntly told them that he thought he was doing terrible, and that it was his opinion that he would never wake up. In my experience, this conversation was completely premature. I have seen people that just needed a couple days, and when they were ready, they would wake up. The family was distraught all day, and they continually asked my opinion. I told them how I really felt which was that it really could go either way and he just might not wake up, but sometimes people just needed time to heal and rest, and that shutting down was their way of doing that. I told them that I felt it was too early to be losing faith and hope. I think they appreciated me being honest, yet still giving them something to cling to.

This is the most that I have ever hoped that someone I didn't even know would just wake up and be okay. I tried every hour and assessed him every hour, and he still showed no improvement.

The wife spent some time alone in his room, and I could hear her outside of the room yelling at him in tears to "WAKE UP! OPEN YOUR EYES! THIS ISN'T FAIR! WAKE UP AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!!" I almost cried myself.

One hour before my shift is over, and I once again go in to do my hourly neuro check. All of the sudden he opens his eyes. I got so excited, but thought for sure that he still wouldn't understand me. Sure enough, I asked him to squeeze my hands, and he did. Well, that had to just be a reflex. I told him to wiggle his toes, and he did just a little. It's a coincidence...he isn't really following commands. I asked him to hold up two fingers......he did. OMG! He's awake!! I was so ecstatic, and I just couldn't believe it. If any family deserved it, they sure did. I wanted so bad to give them the good news, but unfortunately they all left to have dinner! UGH! I looked at him, and I said "You're wife is going to be so happy that you're awake!!!"

And he smiled at me.

Computer vs. 1 less day of work = ??

2009-03-11T17:07:00.003-05:00

Well, I would really like a new laptop that can play games, BUT I also want to work less, lol. I obviously can't do both since this laptop is like $1000. I don't need the computer. But I kinda want it. Damn double standards.

We've gone and made such fools of ourselves.

2009-03-06T10:40:00.003-05:00

Fresh warm air makes me a happy girl. I'm loving this weather. It definitely helps make me feel better. What doesn't make me feel better???

The fact that you can't trust your life to the hospital. You're really sick, and they give you some fluid and send you packing with a prescription for pain meds...
What is wrong with this picture? The fact that the next day you come back to that very same hospital and die. Why has this happened too many times now? Have we not figured out that apparently people are getting meningitis? Is it that the residents are too stupid to pick it up, and the fellow doesn't pay attention to their residents? Is it that we just don't care? You'd think someone coming in with classic signs of meningitis would get a little more than some fluid and pain killers. Hmm, how about some prophylactic antibiotics until we get some test results? How about doing any tests at all? The fact that you would still be alive right now if they just would have given you an antibiotic...bothers me too much seeing as though I didn't even know you.

I cannot stress this enough - your doctor doesn't know everything. Hospitals aren't perfect. Googling your symptoms is not a terrible idea. At least then you'd have an idea what to bring to the table.
If you have flu-like symptoms, headache, stiff neck/neck pain, high fever...MAKE THEM GIVE YOU ANTIBIOTICS! Don't let them send you home with "now drink plenty of fluids and take some tylenol for that headache and high ass fever". Make them do some tests for meningitis. You may not find out right away, but taking that antibiotic could save your life, and it's certainly not going to kill you to take an antibiotic and then find out you really did just have the flu....but having bacterial Meningitis and not taking an antibiotic WILL. I don't care how old or healthy you may be, it will kill you.

I'm done with today's lesson. I don't want to scare anyone because it is very unlikely you will even get it, BUT a teenager just lost their life to it, so don't think it cannot happen to you.

So anyway, we're hitting the ol' zombie mall for some yummy chinese today, and then I'm taking my Rusty to see "The Watchmen". He's uber excited, and I am too. I am so thankful to have today off work. I'm going to try to start enjoying my free days more, and stop analyzing and worrying about work to where my days off are nothing. I want to get better at this, but it's just so hard. When things like above happen, it makes me never want to step inside a hospital again. I'm more likely than any of you to get these things because I'm around it all the time. And here I go thinking about work again. Ok, enough of that.

I'm looking more into making a quilt, and I WILL finish the damn thing (even though Russell and Andrea both think I won't, lol). I haven't decided all the details, but when I do, I will have my blankie!!

And I want to go back to the wow factory. Being crafty makes me a happy girl. And I like being a happy girl.

2009-02-27T14:17:00.002-05:00

I need a tattoo now. I am having a hard time picking one that I want. I want something that means something to me personally, but no luck. Anyone with any ideas? Maybe you guys know me better than I know myself.

2009-02-26T13:31:00.002-05:00

Oh, in better news that I forgot to share. We are definitely going to Anaheim, CA this August. We are booked and ready to go. I'm already making a list of things I need to buy, lol....luggage labels, beach towels, etc. But I'm still in a funky mood, so I'll post more details and giddiness about the vacation later.

2009-02-26T13:22:00.002-05:00

When are things going to get better? I don't know how much longer I can handle this without completely losing it. I've been scared all day today. I can't even function at home as much as I should be because of it. I know I'm behind on homework and housework. The house is a wreck. I have class stuff due that's not done. There's clean and dirty laundry all over the floor. You can't even walk in the bedroom without stepping on something. Same with the office. I have a pot with spaghetti in it that's been sitting there for over a week, and now when I look at it I can't even make myself clean it because I know I'm going to barf. You're not supposed to live like this. I try so hard to be happy when not at work, but I feel like all my free time is wasted by thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking of stupid trivial shit. I'm trying so hard to move on, but so far no one wants me. You'd think that I would be a great grab with getting my Masters, but apparently they bypass me because they know I will not be there long term. I had a dream job lined up. They thought I was perfect for the job....other than the fact that I am bettering myself and would have to leave after a couple of years. This is not fair. I need to go somewhere boring. I need boring.

Wowsers!

2009-02-13T23:56:00.008-05:00

So we finally got to go to the wow factory. It was awesome! They have so much you can do there. I think I will definitely go broke because of it. Russell painted a nice cereal bowl, I painted a coffee mug, and Andrea painted a pretty vase. They also offer many other things there including mosaics which I definitely want to try. It's been a while since I've been crafty, and I really missed it. It's time I start something again. I've thought about making a quilt or starting out with quilted pillows to get practice before I start out on a full quilt, but I'm not sure yet. I also really enjoyed painting...maybe there is something there, although I have no experience with it at all!

This is one of the many shelves they have with items you can paint. Don't forget not to touch items without washing your hands like I did. lol
This is our finish products along with our mess.
Andrea's pretty vase!
My hubby wubby painting his cereal bowl that he is excited to use!
I want my coffee mug so I can drink out of it sooooo bad!!

We couldn't decide if Russell's art was actually clouds or man gravy!! LOL

2009-02-04T17:46:00.002-05:00

I'm kinda eh right now. Not sure how to get out of my funk. Maybe I should explain more. I cannot at all whatsoever get into my classes. I hate listening to it, and I have no gumption to do any work. I feel terrible about it because mostly I feel like it's becoming obvious to them that I'm slacking.

I'm also wanting to do something crafty right now. I want to start quilting, but 1) I would have to put a lot of money into it and 2) I know it's going to be one of those things I start and throw to the side. Seems like a waste. So I probably won't do anything. Because I am lazy.

Also, I am a very sad person because I got all giddy about buying clinique stuff and getting free stuff, too. If you like clinique go now for the free gift with purchase!

Epiphany Shmiphany

2009-01-23T20:59:00.000-05:00

My desktop computer is dead. Thankfully I still have this POS laptop that is too slow, but I'm not sure what
I'm going to do. The little power light comes on, but the computer does nothing. It worked last night...

But in better news I got a new phone. We switched over to AT&T and payed the early contract thing for US Cellular. It's a Pantech Matrix slide phone. I uber like it so far. I love spending money. I guess that means that I do need to keep my job after all since I like to spend money so much. I might even buy myself a new iPod. Man, I am totally spoiled.

So, anyway, last night (after taking my ambien of course), I was laying in bed, and I was so out of it that I had to put my book down because all the words were starting to blur. I turned off the light, lay there for a few minutes, and then I had an actual light bulb ding over my head. I had an actual epiphany. I needed something to write it down on right away. I jumped out of bed, stumbled into the living room dizzily and almost falling down a few times, and I ran across my old journal. I did my best to read what I had written in previous years, and then I started writing. It turns out that I had taken too long and lost it. I thought I had all the answers in the world on how to be happy. Ambien does that for you apparently. I decided that I would write anyway, and maybe it would come back to me. I had completely forgotten about all this until I saw my journal laying in the bedroom floor today. I read what I wrote, and there is no epiphany whatsoever. Mostly scribbles with some stuff I want to buy and a few things I already knew...such as knowledge is the answer to having no fear, lol. I haven't had this kind of reaction to my ambien since the first time I took it. Maybe I accidentally took 2 or something. Maybe I will have a real epiphany tonight (or get it on paper before I lose it). I kept my journal beside my bed just in case!! lol

Snickles in the HooHaa.

2009-01-21T16:47:00.002-05:00

Not sure what the title means, but I get that phrase stuck in my head all the time now ever since the first time I took ambien and was playing world of warcraft. The most random things just kept coming out of my mouth, and I'm sure everyone on the appreciated my stupidness.

So, it's research class time, so of course I am looking for something else to do. I just cannot get into the whole class thing. Maybe I'm in the wrong area. I don't know. Or maybe I'm just so burnt out from school since I have been going straight since preschool. Research class is 3 hours online staring at the computer. That is enough to drive even the most sane person crazy.

I'm thirsty.

BTW, what is with college students making fake outs when crossing the street? I strongly think that pedestrians should have a blinker just like cars do. I don't know how many times I drove past a crosswalk today, and a butthead would walk close to the road like they were going to cross, so I would stop, and then they would do a 90 degree turn and keep going. BAH!

I'm tired of the cold and the snow. I have stuff to do outside that can't be done in the wet damn snow. Stop it already.

I want to go to the beach. Bad. I want to lay in the sand and get a tan. I also want to go the Disney Land. I wonder if I can talk Russell into a vacation this summer? I'm also itching to go camping at our spot!!

Omg, 2 more hours of class. LOKAJSLKRJLKDFJOSIDFJLKJLkjas.

I wanna just quit work and school and be a hermit for a while. I wanna be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Also, Russell seems to think that I am attracted to his sickness. He thinks I am naturally cold and therefore I am drawn to the warmth of his sickness. That could be something to look into. lol

2009-01-19T10:23:00.003-05:00

You know what? I have the best hubby in the world. Not only does he always make me dinner every night after long ass days of work on the weekends, but he makes the bed for me, tucks me in, and this weekend was the best! I hate hate hate work, but Russell made it a good weekend anyway! Friday night, we ordered tons of pizza hut goodness, set up our air mattress on the living room floor, and cuddled and watched good movies all evening. We had so much fun we even slept there the whole night (although it was frickin cold and we had to run an electric blanket and an electric heater pointed at us, lol). It was great! AND to boot, it was all his idea. He even went out in the cold to dig out the mattress, lol. Then last night, I come home from a long day of work, and he ordered us Applebees, cleaned up the living room including folding all the blankets we used and the air mattress, and he was doing laundry. :)

Like I said, I have the best hubby in the world! ;)

2009-01-12T16:17:00.003-05:00

Pomegranates are yummy and awesome. They are so easy to prepare, and they are yummy juicy! The seeds inside kinda suck, but totally worth it. I can't wait to try it on some oatmeal or something!!

Our xbox 360 died, but thank goodness they are going to send us a new one for free since they got sued for making sucky ones.

I don't wanna start classes again. Not looking forward to it.

That's all for now. lol

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

2009-01-02T19:20:00.005-05:00

Some things really need to change for me if I am ever going to feel good. Everything is GREAT with Russell and I, but that is about as far as it goes. I just feel down and miserable all the time. I'm not going to be able to feel good about me until I can get my life in order. Here are some things that need to be altered:

My weight/health - this is of course number one. The healthier you eat, the better you feel. The more you exercise, the more energy you have. I KNOW this through and through, but that doesn't change the fact that I do not do it. I want to feel good, and I know in my heart that this is a major problem.
My organization - my home is a wreck. It is dirty, smelly, and disorganized. There is junk that needs to be thrown out. All the walls need washed. The carpets are in desperate need of tender loving care. I think they are saturated in dog shit, piss, and puke. I need to replace filters and dust, and bleach, and scrub. I need a whole week of nothing but cleaning. A healthy home would make me feel better.
My job - I desperately need to feel better about my job. This is the one I have. This makes me a lot of money that allows us to buy what we want and need and to spend more money than we really should. I want to know more about my job and have more experience. I think this will make me not only more comfortable there, but will also let me stop doubting myself and stop caring if I'm perfect or if everyone there thinks I'm perfect.
My school - I need to stop being pissed that I am still in school and just do it. I know that I have no idea in hell what I want to do with this at the moment, but I know it will come in time, and for now I need to learn everything I can so I do not have the same problem I have now where I wish I would have payed more attention in class. I need a nice clean work station around my computer for optimal learning. I need to stop being pissy just because I have homework that I don't want to do and just do it.
My friends and family - I need to make more time for them. I need to send cards for birthdays and be a good aunt (also camping trips are a must have), and have more Lishy and Andi dinners and get togethers. I spend too much time sulking to do these things.

I think this is a good start. It seems like a lot, and it will take me time to get these things accomplished, feel healthier, and feel better about myself, but I feel a little better just thinking that I know what needs done, and hoping this is my fix.

Also, I want a new car. lol I think we're going to look sometime into getting a tribeca, but paying off the trailer comes first! not to mention that school loan payments will be coming soon enough, but i'm not going to let money worry me because we are more than fine.

Oh, and I got stuff for the camera, so i'm going to take pics of my goodies soon.

I hope you all had a wonderful new year, and I hope you all feel good in your own way.

2008-12-30T14:51:00.003-05:00

I am so tired of a lot of things right now. I absolutely hate going to work! HATE IT! With a passion. Not to mention the fact that I am tired of seeing dead people....although this last one was kinda weird. I thought he wouldn't pass for a while, and then his wife showed up for a few minutes, and right after she stepped out he did. It's like he waited for her. I've heard of things like this happening, but I have never actually witnessed it before.

Back to my rant. I'm tired of asshole people who treat you like shit just because they can. People sense that I am someone they can walk all over, so they do. IF YOU CAN'T NOT BE AN ASSHOLE, THEN JUST KEEP TO YOUR DAMN SELF!

I'd like to talk about christmas and tell you all the wonderful things I got, but I am totally not in the mood right now. I would also like to show you pictures, but I can't do that either because my camera is dead (no pics taken), and I have lost my adapter so I can charge it. Hmph.

2008-12-19T01:04:00.002-05:00

The job is ruining life once again. I am getting more comfortable with a lot of things, but then I just get a patient that has stuff going on that I am so intimidated by. For example, taking care of a younger person that has an aorta that is going to pop at any second and there is nothing that anyone can do to save them is not fun for me. Lots of blood pressure drips get me all uppity. And because of all this, I dreamed of work all night and constantly woke up to sit up in bed or walk toward the living room because my patient is in there and something bad is happening. This is not normal. I even try to reason with myself when this is going on. "Tonya, there is no way that you have to take care of a patient right now because it is night, and you do not work at night." It takes me a while but I finally calm down and go back to sleep....only to have it happen again and again and again and again. This used to happen to me when I worked at Wal-Mart, too, but I don't think it was ever this severe. Ugh. Maybe I should get paid for being at home, too? lol. Here's hoping for a work free good nights rest.

#54 Done

2008-11-05T18:23:00.001-05:00

Woot! I actually raised my hand on wimba and talked tonight without being called on. I HATE talking on that thing. BTW, this is my online live class. GO ME!

My home.

2008-11-05T17:08:00.010-05:00

#23 Done

2008-11-05T10:36:00.002-05:00

I got a new piercing yesterday. It was actually an impulse pierce although I had been thinking about doing it for a while. I got my right cartilage done. Big woop. I figured I had enough piercings on my left ear that I needed to even it out some.

#86 Complete

2008-11-04T16:49:00.000-05:00

I bought Russell a pair of blue flannel sheets today. I'm going to wash them and put them on the bed tonight and hope that it's cold enough tonight that we don't roast, lol.

101 things to do in 1001 days project

2008-11-03T23:07:00.007-05:00

I finally completed my list for 101 things to do in 1001 days project after working on it for a week! It will always be listed on the side bar of the blog, and it will be updated on a regular basis...PROMISE! I will try to write about what I finish so you can have a detailed description of what took place or maybe even a picture. I swear, that Andrea Ware is trying to make us all be better people and damn her for it.

Today (11/3/08) I finished my first book of the southern vampire novels. This one is called Dead Until Dark. I highly recommend everyone reading it, and you also need to start watching True Blood on HBO because it is a series based on the short novels. Good stuff. I was going to start reading book 2 tonight, BUT I realized that the book I bought is indeed book 9. Woops.

Anyways, trying to make some changes in life, and I will let you know after things are done so I don't unintentionally screw myself over in any way.

2008-10-31T19:08:00.001-05:00

The house I grew up in burned down.
Wow, that's weird.

Tonya Young, the next J.K. Rowling.

2008-08-29T15:40:00.002-05:00

I want to write a book so bad. It seems like it would feel amazing to write a book and have people want to read it. After reading Twilight, I know I could never write a book anything like that, but if I were to write a book, I would want to to be too much like Twilight, lol. Stephenie Meyer, the author, actually never planned on writing a book. She dreamed it up...like actually had a dream, and then started writing about that dream. If only it were that easy. I mean, she did have a degree in english, but how hard would it be to write a book without a degree in english. My grammar and punctuation aren't terrible, but I know I don't even come close to knowing all the rules. I guess that's what editors are for. I can write a book, and Andrea can edit it for me!!! lol

Maybe one of these days...

Hold me, wrap me up.

2008-08-20T21:36:00.003-05:00

Wow, has it really been 7 months since I have posted? I guess you just have to be in a mood for these things, and life has been hectic to the point where sometimes I just don't want to think. I guess it's time to think again.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself and my identity. Has anyone ever felt like that? What kind of person am I? What kind do I want to be? Am I the caring nurse or the one who just tries to get their work done? Is my house dirty because I am lazy, or do I really just not have enough hours? Too many questions I guess. This whole nurse thing has thrown me for a loop - a big one. It has somewhat made me push me to the background so I don't have to think about all the scary things that could happen. Don't get me wrong, I still worry constantly which isn't necessarily something different from usual for me, but it's all too much. I've even been having nightmares, and these aren't like the Wal-Mart nightmares that kept Russell and I both up all night. These are omg someone is gushing blood from their face in which case I fly out of bed like a cat that has just been spooked and flick on the light so I can see the damage. This is when I wake up enough to realize that I'm still at home in the middle of the night, and Russell can't figure out what the hell I am doing because I just ripped him out of his sleep, too. I LOVE critical care, but the stress and anxiety is almost too much to bare. I keep telling myself that I can push through this period because everyone does, but what if I just can't. I was never one for an adrenaline rush. I never thought I could EVER work in a place like this. I used to think that people were crazy for wanting to work in the intensive care unit or ER, but it's like the best place ever. I'm kinda hooked. Maybe I'm a glutten for punishment. I know it's hard for everyone to understand unless they have worked there before, but imagine waiting for the bottom to drop out at any second. What are you going to do when it does? Will you even know what to do?? Will anyone be there to help you pick up the pieces? Will you lose a patient? Will it be your fault? Can you live with yourself if you lose the fight? Do you know in your heart you did everything in your power? It's the scariest shit you can imagine, and you can be changing various lives for the better or worse.

To add to all this mess, I have made the decision to go back to school. My first classes were this evening. I will be getting a Masters in Nursing and taking certification for Family Nurse Practitioner. I wanted to do neonatal, and maybe one of these days I will, but then I would always have to work in a hospital setting, and I'm not so sure I want to be so constricted on my career choices. All of the courses are online webcasts with live instructors and other students in the class. Much better than having to drive to class, but I don't really like talking over the microphone. Am I crazy for doing this so soon or at all? I don't know the answer to that, yet, but I do know that I cannot be a floor nurse for the rest of my life.

Russell is doing great. He's back into classes as well, and finally getting to do real courses that have to do with his interests....aka not statistics and biochemistry, lol. This is also hopefully his last year (he may need more to finish his research), and I'm wishing upon a star that he can find a job close to home so we can move back. We already have a house ready in Frametown until we can build one of our own. I'm really excited. I'll actually have room for a garden!!

Citi is still spoiled as ever, and Gunther acts like he doesn't like her, but we still catch him enjoying it when Citi chases him and licks him on the ears. It's too cute.

Oh, and I got stung by a wasp today on my finger tip. This is the first time I've been stung since elementary school, and I am not pleased by this. It hurt like a bitch. I don't remember it lasting that long or being that painful. Asshole.

I will leave you with a song to listen to for my mood. "Breathe me" by Sia. Great song.
And don't worry. I enjoyed posting tonight, so I should be back, lol. It's nice to be able to get my thoughts down to make sense of things. It help me remember that through all the shit at work, I still want to be where I am. I always have to remind myself that I am so lucky. I have my own place to live, a great job that pays the bills and keeps us in our luxuries, and a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally...even when I scare the shit out of him jumping out of bed in the middle of the night, lol. And here I go on a tangent again. Be back soon.

2008-01-27T12:41:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my first day of work....how did my break go by so darn fast?? Even though all I do is listen to people talk tomorrow, I am sooo nervous. What if this job isn't right for me? What if I suck at it? I don't think I'll suck, but it will definitely be hard. I guess we'll see how it goes.

2008-01-24T00:59:00.000-05:00

Russell and I just went to the eye doctor again for the second time in one year because Russell has already lost his expensive first pair of glasses. It's nice to have vision insurance now, although make sure it is working before you go to the eye doctor and have to spend your whole appointment time on the phone. Anyways, we finally got checked, and it turns out that my vision is now 20/200 in my right eye and 20/100 in my left eye. Wowsers. Never thought my eyes would get that bad. But indeed they are. She talked me into getting a new kind of contacts. I was using the Acuvue Oasys which I loooooved, but she wasn't pleased that I was wearing 2 week contacts for a month straight. She decided she felt safer if I chose a new pair, so I got these Bausch and Lomb monthlies that are really thick, but comfortable, and you are supposed to be able to wear them for a month straight if you want...not that the optometrist still recommends that, but nevertheless it seems to be the safer choice for me. I also tried on some colored contacts there, but they just didn't work. They did not fit and were squirming around in my eye; I could see the color they were in my vision sometimes, and they didn't seem to change my eye color as much as I thought they should. Or as much as their pictures show they should. I tried on freshlook and acuvue colors....so if anyone knows better ones, please let me know.

I start my brand new job this monday. I am soooooooooo nervous and scared. Not so much for the first week, but after that I am expected to be a competent nurse, and I don't think I am ready to be that, yet. I know they don't expect me to know everything, and that is why I go through orientation so I can learn all these things seeing as though everyone says you don't learn how to be a nurse until you start working, but it's so risky. I'm working in an intensive care unit where people's lives are in my hands. Did I bite off more than I can chew? I just wanted a job that I love and want to go to. Is this it? I guess only time will tell.
I also have to go take my NCLEX license exam February 4th, and I can't even make myself study. This is terrible. My pay drops down a minimum of $11 from what I was making, and I have to fork out another $200 to take the damn test again which my chances of passing after failing drop a ton. Can you tell this is a big deal? Why am I being so casual about it? Why can't I just study like I'm sure everyone else is doing right now? I want to puke right about now.

Other than that everything is going alright.

Oh, anyone want to come and clean this stink-hole of a trailer? I don't think anyone could take this mess on....lol.

2007-12-21T19:21:00.000-05:00

Since I am not allowed in the living room right now due to the fact that Russell is wrapping my presents, I thought I would write a little. Things are going great! I finally graduated!! Russell got me this beautiful afghan that has embroidered nurses caring for patients on it, and it says...

Tonya R. Young, RN
My life, My love, My soul.

Man, that was a tear jerker. Mom and grandma got me this really pretty diamond ring. They came up for graduation, and we went out to eat at Cheddar's. It was nice.

I start my new job on MICU/SICU on January 28. I'm really excited, but I'm also REALLY nervous. I only have to work one more day as a CA, and that isn't even until January 4th, so it's muy nice-o. I'm so glad to be moving on with my life.

I really don't even know what else to say. If you're close to me, then you already know everything that is going on in my life anyway. Maybe I'll write more later, but probably not...

2007-12-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

This is our new puppy, Citi!!

2007-11-14T12:07:00.001-05:00

This is the week from hell, but I keep reminding myself that I am sooooo close to being done. But yet it seems so damn far away! If you question how much my week sucks, then here is my schedule for all you nonbelievers:

MONDAY - Class from 9:00am-2:30pm with 2 large tests plus 2 at home tests
TUESDAY - OB from 7:00am-3:30pm
WEDNESDAY - Work from 3:00pm-11:30pm
THURSDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
FRIDAY - OB from 7:00am-7:30pm
SATURDAY - Work from 11:00am-11:30pm

Notice the day where I go from working to 11:30pm to getting up and being at OB at 7:00am. That one is my damn favorite. Anywho, I am almost done. I only have 30 hours out of 200 hours left for my leadership rotation which will be done with one more shift after Thanksgiving break. We're getting to go home for a change and have some fun. Graduation is December 9th with 2 finals after that, and I am done done done! I cannot wait!! It seems so unreal!

So, still no definite on the puppy, yet. I don't even know if Russell's mom still has it or not, but I guess you will know whether or not we come home with a puppy or not after break.

The more I think about it, the more I think that I cannot make it through this damn week. How in the hell do I do it?? It's so not fair. And on that note, I am done talking.

2007-10-21T15:20:00.001-05:00

No one wants to go to fright farm with me, and I have to say that I am not too pleased about it. This is not something that you can do on your own. Well, actually you could, but why would that be fun?

We may be getting a doggy. Not sure, yet. It's mostly jack russell terrier with a golden color, but we'll see. She's a big love bug I hear, and Russell's mom and dad are waiting to see if anyone claims her. It would have to be on a trial basis first to see if we have enough time for her, and also to see if Gunther gets along with her okay because he's still number one.

I seem to be pretty miserable these days, but I'm just trying to get through it. On any given week I am working up to 50 or so hours plus class, so I'm very grouchy. I think all this stress is giving me some female problems, so I need to make an appointment and get myself checked out to make sure it is indeed stress and not something else.

Heroes is the best show EVER! Love it!!

I'm already getting excited to shop for Christmas presents. I have bought one, and then some partials. Is it too early to be thinking this much about Christmas? I think I love it even more this year because I should be done by that time!

2007-10-07T16:03:00.001-05:00

Andrea has been wanting me to update FOREVER, but I just have no time, and when I do (rarely), I don't really feel like writing. Things have been going well. Had a slight pregnancy scare...well, not really, but brushing my teeth has been making me gag and sometime puke a lot, so I decided to go ahead and take a test. Doesn't hurt, right? So, I peed in a cup, dipped my stick, and put the timer on three minutes. Russell stood in the living room, eyes wide open. "Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet? Is it done, yet?" Long story somewhat short - it was negative. Obviously. But, this experience made us realize that if we were to be pregnant, it wouldn't be a terrible time for it. I'm almost done with school (until masters), and I already have a job at the MICU/SICU at WVUH, so everything would be okay. This, plus working on Maternity, has brought on lots of pregnancy and baby dreams. I want one bad, but I can't have a baby right now. I'm not ready. We're not ready. I still need some us time first.

School and work is okay. I stay so busy that I barely have time to wipe my own ass, but so far I haven't had a mental breakdown.

I think I'm going to decorate for Halloween today, which can only mean..............HALLOWEEN VILLAGE YAY!

Okay, I think I'm done talking now. Sorry Andrea.

2007-09-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

Things have been going pretty good round here. I'm doing my ICU rotation right now. Next week is my last week. You see some neat but sad things around there. I applied for it not too long ago. They are hiring a lot of people right now, and they just hired 3 new nurses that are graduating in December, so it looks like I have a shot. I also applied for a night job on maternity. I really don't want to work nights, but if it's the only way for me to get in there then so be it. It would only be 3 nights a week anyway, then I would have the rest of the week off! I also got into the maternity unit for my leadership rotation (200 hours worth), so that gives me a better shot than what I have before. My preceptor on the floor can pretty much make or break me, so I'm hoping all goes well.

Russell is loving school. He has four classes now, and he is also teaching 2 biology 115 labs for some yummy money. He's doing really well. Him and some of the other people in his class have a lot of study group sessions because the classes he is in are incredibly hard, and the teacher in the statistics class skips things, doesn't explain, and goes way too fast, so they pretty much have to teach themselves.

I applied to work in telemetry at work. All you do is sit there, look at monitors, call nurses, and then do whatever the hell else you want to do...like homework, listen to loud music, or play on the internet. I've been talking with the woman that's the head of it about switching there, and she's going to set me up with an interview. It pays a little less, and I will have to pay a little more for benefits, but we have the money right now, and it's so worth it. Being a CA right now is terrible. We are overworked and not appreciated at all. Switching to a nonstressful job right now would be right up my alley seeing as though I also have to do around 24 hours a week of clinicals plus work. One week that I have scheduled, I am doing 28 hours on maternity and 24 hours for work. That is just not right, lol.

My house needs cleaned. :(

2007-08-15T14:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I thought I should update now that Russell is officially back into school. He's getting his masters in environmental microbiology, and he's taking Agricultural Biochemistry 610 and Statistics 512! Not to mention he has to start his research. His research has something to do with finding a new and more efficient way to store spores. As of right now, they use liquid nitrogen to freeze and store them. Since 911, they have apparently been more strict with what you store liquid nitrogen in, so these containers are VERY expensive. So, it's Russell's job to find a new way to do this. Awesomeness. Everyone keep him in your thoughts because it's gonna be rough. :)

2007-08-09T19:27:00.001-05:00

i miss harry potter, and i think i'm going to have to read the last one again...i'm reliving the old ones through rusty!

rusty is supposed to get his acceptance letter in the mail soon soon so he can go become an official student.

i love 300. i have watched it twice now, and i could probably watch it every day...blockbuster can kiss my ass for not having any when i went there.

the rain is nice to hear, but it better go away for when we go camping.

the red goldfish has a hole in his head now. i brought her and professor snape back from some nasty ich, but now she has the hole in her head. i have moved her into rusty's tank and plan on starting antibacterial treatments tonight. too bad my nursing skills cannot help me here.

i love being off work and school. very good feeling.

the water has been brown and smelly. i think it is clear now so i can wash my smelly clothes and dishes...horray.

2007-07-26T08:50:00.001-05:00

So I totally just spent $400 at Wal-Mart yesterday. We have to use our discount while we still can, lol. I bought shit tons of camping stuff. We're going to have so much and just be able to RELAX! We also bought some saw stuff to fix the floor with.

Today starts my 5 days of total hell - day 1. Argh! Why can't it be day 5!!? I just want this shit to be over so we can go to Ohio and not think about work and hardly think about school (except for revisions to my paper and making my poster for my presentation).

I have car news, but no time to talk about that.
I also got some new fishies and will post some pics later. But they are doing great. We have a black moore called professor snape, and we have another one that is orange and white...we've been calling her red, but no technical name, yet.

Harry Potter was great, but even though the epilogue is what I would hope for, it was still kinda cheesy. Oh well.

Getting ready and off to work!

2007-07-18T17:11:00.001-05:00

I forgot to mention that Russell got an estimate on his car. $3700 dollars ($500 of which we have to pay for our deductible). We were going to take it to this body shop up here, but the guy was really flaky and wanting the phone # to our bank and everything, so that's a big fat NO! We're going to try to take it to Pletcher's instead before we go on our trip...someone we can actually trust.

My car gets dropped off on Monday to get fixed. Hopefully all will work out well with that.

I made pepperoni rolls yesterday...mmm they were good. It's been a long time since I've made them, but they were still as good as ever! Yum.

Oh, and if the claims guy had any doubt that we hit a deer even though there was deer hair everywhere, we found deer shit stuck to Russell's grill when we pulled up the hood...LOL!

The claims guy also cut his finger on Russell's car. :( Does our insurance cover that?? lol

2007-07-18T17:09:00.000-05:00

YAY MY TANK IS FINALLY CYCLED!! It has taken like 2 months, but well worth it! The only problem is that we're going to be gone for a while coming up, so I don't know if I want to get fish, yet. Especially to leave them alone like that with no water changes or food so soon after getting them. We'll see I guess.

2007-07-17T18:53:00.001-05:00

2007-07-17T18:46:00.000-05:00

I am very annoyed these days.

Russell and I have been shit on a lot lately. We've both been doing a decent job keeping each other sane. I have a feeling that something really good is coming our way. Maybe we can laugh about it later.

School is almost done for the summer. I'm really looking forward to some time off. Too bad I have to work three 11am-11:30pm shifts in a row to get that time off.

I just bought a $40 NCLEX study book. I'm really finding out how much I do not know.

Gunther licked my eyebrow today.

I really want to have a nice bubble bath, but I am out of bubble bath.

I mowed the lawn yesterday and felt really good about it. It looks nice.

I am very displeased with Harry Potter. The movie was so off from the book that I could not even enjoy it. Don't the author's have to approve these scripts?! I could go on and on and on about what was wrong with that damn movie. Maybe another day.

Russell's poor subaru...

2007-07-14T20:26:00.001-05:00

This is what happens on a foggy Friday the 13th. Notice the deer hair?

2007-07-12T22:06:00.000-05:00

Watching Life as a House was a great experience. A movie hasn't made me cry that much since The Notebook. I don't know how to feel about it, though. Would it be better to have someone die hating them and never actually knowing them, or to get to know and love them, and then they are gone forever? That's a tough one.

It really brings up not so good issues with me. But, I still love the movie. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, you just have to let yourself think.

2007-07-11T14:10:00.000-05:00

Finally took the subi to see how much it would cost to fix the oil leak...

$1600

Umm, yeah. That's a hunk of change right there. So we went and spent $35 at applebees to make ourselves feel better about it. lol

2007-07-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs to go watch The Life of David Gale if you haven't already! Awesome movie.

The wedding was good. They were so cute. My bridesmaid dress was a little big on me, so it made me look bigger, but all is well. We all got our hair fixed really cute. I missed being able to dance with my Rusty, though.

School is coming close to the end for the summer. Very excited about that. It's scary to think that I'm going to be a nurse soon.

Well, I'm off to watch some tv, then going to Wal-Mart to shop and have dinner with Rusty. Making another surprise pit stop before that as well.

Maybe I'll post more later.

2007-07-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

finally bought a new pair of glasses...should get them in a week

had to buy pasties for the wedding *shiver*

something borrowed is super good...almost done reading it

already bought something blue for when the other one is done

harry potter comes out soon and i can't wait

russell cutely played with my hair as we went to sleep last night
i love it when he does that

i have dead silence on video...i'm almost too scared to watch it

transformers was good and russell and i liked it
i was good and didn't eat movie popcorn
although i ate at cici's but i was still good and ate reasonably within my points system
i've lost more weight, but i'm not going to say how much because it's not weigh in day

i have to work 11a-11p tomorrow, and i am not happy about it

2007-07-02T14:41:00.000-05:00

I went to student health to try to figure out my sleeping-don't-want-to-do-anything problem. They took some blood. My CBC was good, and I wasn't going to find out the TSH until today. Well, it's supposedly in the normal range, so that rules out the thyroid. She seems to think that it's because I'm burning out and doing waaay too much. She wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to have to take a drug to make me feel good, so I'm going to try other things:

Having bedtimes again.
Taking time for myself without work or school or homework or housework.
Setting an alarm if I take a nap.
Continuing my weight watchers with drinking lots of water.
My daily vitamin.
Walking and/or swimming.
Spending time outside with lots of deep breaths of fresh air.
Cooper's rock with Russell when we have days off together.
Writing more on here to try to hash out my issues. A "journal" if you will.

I may add to this list, but this is my reminder I guess. I haven't figured out the bedtime yet, but maybe I should just gradually decrease it instead of trying to cut staying up late cold turkey.

I got my ear pierced....the tragus which is the little flappy cartilage thing that is right next to your cheek. My camera is dead right now or I would take a picture. It hurt like a bitch, but I like it. It's not nearly as sore as it was before. I was having a really bad day when I got it done, and I thought that a piercing pain would make me feel better (if that makes sense to anyone other than me), but it didn't. I do feel better now, though. Not great, but it's better than shitty.

SLEEP

2007-06-24T21:06:00.000-05:00

I've known for a while that I sleep a lot, but lately it seems to be more of a problem. I'm ALWAYS napping, and that's all I think about is "gee, when I get home I am going straight to bed" no matter what time of day it is. even as soon as I get up, I look forward to my nap. I just woke up from a 4 hour nap. I decided I'm going to start keeping a sleep log, and if it starts seeming crazy then I am going to go see a doctor about it.

Everyone is always telling me it's because I work so damn much, but is it really? After I took that big nap, I logged my first days sleep, and it's only 10.5 hours for the whole day. That's not so crazy. I logged what I slept last night, and it was 1:30am-8:00am...6.5 hours for the night. And that's more sleep than I usually get at night because I typically have to get up earlier than that. I am not a morning person at all, and I'm not the kind of person to run on low hours of sleep either. I'm hoping that this is the only problem I have (although I hardly exercise and I am currently working on my diet...stress I cannot change). If I can get out of this nap funk, then maybe I can start getting the hang of going to bed at a decent hour. This is a hard task because Russell normally stays up until 3:00am anymore because that is the funk he is in. I don't like his funk because I like going to bed with him, but he can't really go to bed any earlier than that because he'll just lay there. He doesn't have to get up early like me anymore. I need to quit trying to stay up a little later with him and give myself a bedtime or something. Gosh, I hate that. I like staying up later. :(

But, I'm going to have to try something. *shrug*

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Really.

STIR CRAZY!

2007-06-08T13:04:00.001-05:00

I have really been getting stir crazy lately. It has been 2 years since I have had a vacation. I think I'm damn due. I haven't been working my ass off for nothing. I think I am very deserving of a vacation. And it's not just that. I want to get out and do things more. I want to go out on a boat, go fishing, swimming, camping, to our cabin, to the beach, to amusement parks, biking, walking, etc. You name it, and I want to do it...minus going to the bar. I want to have a picnic outside. I want to breathe fresh air and see pretty nature things. I'm so tired of Morgantown. I want Russell and I to do all these things together, but it's so hard with our schedules the way they are. I want to go fishing and swimming every damn day. I want to grill hotdogs on our cool rock on the lake like we had done so many years ago. I'm tired of wasting my life away inside all the time.

This swimming every day thing could be a bit tricky since I refuse to wear a bathing suit in public. I'm supposed to get my weight watchers stuff in the mail next week sometime, and I am excited to get started and lose weight. I have done it before, and I can do it again plus more. I already have my game plan, and I refuse to let it not work. I may love food, but I want to love my body more. Everyone send me good thoughts every once in a while to keep me going strong because once I get started, I don't want anything to sidetrack me. I have a shitload of clothes that I want to wear that I will not or cannot where right now because of my size, and I cannot wait until I can wear them again.

In other news, the aquarium is almost ready for fish. I'm soo excited to get my babies. Soon soon.

OH, and the three year anniversary is this Monday. We'll mostly be celebrating Sunday, I think, because I have class from 9-5 on Monday. We haven't decided what we're going to do yet, but I definitely want to do something.

3 years married.
8 years together.
Sooo happy with my baby. :)

You might be a nurse if...

2007-05-21T21:50:00.000-05:00

You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you, and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other.
You've had a patient with a nose ring, brow ring, and 12 earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.

Lots of stuff

2007-05-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

I realize I haven't posted in forever. Oh well.

Some things that are going on:
School starts back on May 21. They are killing me. They make plans at the last second and ruin my already made work schedule, and my life. Damn them. You probably won't even know I exist over the summer because I am going to be that busy.

Do you remember sometime in March when I got my tetanus shot, and it went all crazy so I had to go to the emergency department to have it checked? Well, they actually tried to bill me $90 for it. $90 for some dude to look at my arm and poke it a few times in less than a minute and tell me to take some damn tylenol...wow. So I had to go through a lot, but now employee health (the place that gave me the shot) said that they are going to take care of the bill....GREAT!

The school is giving me almost $5000 loan that I never accepted for summer school. I only need like $1700 of that. I thought about just sending the rest of the money back so I don't have to pay for it later, BUT now I'm thinking about other uses for it. We need to get our holes in the kitchen and our almost hole in the bathroom fixed. I am also going to need a vacation at the end of this summer. I am trying to talk Russell into taking me to our cabin in the Smokey's for some love in the hot tub and Dixie Stampede among other things. We'll see.

Russell's sister is having to have surgery soon. They found a tumor on her ovary. :(

In other news, I told Russell I either want a baby or a dog...preferably a bulldog. He seems tot try to be ignoring me on this topic. We'll see how that goes also.

Fish tanks are still not even close to being ready. I am very angry about this and about ready to just throw in some fish anyway! Damn it. that big beautiful tank is going to waste.

I want to go out to eat today. I wonder if I can talk Russell into it. We may go see Shrek 3 tomorrow early. Maybe. We're also having a cookout/in tomorrow night. Russell is trying to make some gourmet burgers, but alas a couple of our guests do not like onions, so there goes one of his favorite ingredients. I also bought beer. We never have beer in this house mostly because we don't like it. I may try one.

And now I'm thinking even more of getting fish now. The only downside to that is I will have to change out large quantities of water every day instead of once a week. I do not like that. 29 gallons is a lot of water to be bucketing every day.

We watched Eragon last night. Good movie. Can't wait until the next one even though I really didn't want to watch the first one, lol.

Six Feet Under is the shit. We watch is together almost every night. :) We get it from Blockbuster total access which I highly recommend. We were getting netflix, but we can get twice the amount of movies for the same price. Good stuff.

Birthday is coming up. I am off work the whole weekend, but Russell has to work. The bitch wouldn't let him have it off. Well, too bad because I am making him not go! Bwahaha. lol Mom also wants to come up, but I have no idea what we're going to do, yet. Maybe go to Kennywood? Hmm. That is a thought. Or maybe good food somewhere. I did buy a new snazzy dress to wear somewhere, so maybe.

Russell is still sleeping. I need to clean. I cannot clean while he is sleeping. Well, maybe I can start on this far bathroom. Yes, that sounds like a plan. Buh-bye.

Watch it.

2007-04-21T20:09:00.001-05:00

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/527593/the_lanlord/

Aquariums

2007-04-20T23:18:00.000-05:00

Finally took some pictures of the new aquariums (minus fishies). These are all pictures without the flash, so that's why they look somewhat blurry. I had better pics, but somehow I lost them, and I am very angry now. The first one is my 29 gallon tank that is going to have goldfish in it, and the second one is Russell's 5 gallon tank that is going to have tetras in it. Yay.

YAY FOR FISH!

2007-04-12T23:57:00.000-05:00

I am so excited right now! Russell bought me my 29 gallon fish tank. Huge, right? Well, I'm getting awesome goldfish to go in there, and I have been reading so much to become a goldfish pro and a good mommy. Those things, if taken care of properly, can grow to be HUGEMONGOUS!

So, not only am I excited about that, but Russell decided that he wanted to take the 5 gallon tank and put some pretty tetras in it! So, we're going to have 2 awesome fish tanks. I think we might put the smaller one in the bedroom. We have to have a heater for it, though, because tetras are tropical freshwater fish. They look so neat though.

The only sucky thing is that I have to cycle these tanks before we can even get the fish. I told you I was becoming a pro, lol. It will take about a month, but I need to run the tanks with ammonia in it to cycle it to where there is no ammonia, no nitrites, and just a little bit of nitrates. Look it up if you want to know more about what I'm talking about. As soon as I get stuff going, I will take some pictures.

I am also EXTREMELY EXCITED about something else. We both are. But I'm not going to tell you what it is, yet. You will just have to wait a while until things are fixed the way they are supposed to be. I don't want to jinx anything. No, not even you, Andrea. ;) You'll have to wait like everyone else. lol

Night of the living wasp

2007-04-01T15:02:00.000-05:00

I hate wasps! I have this freakish phobia of them. I can't help it. The fear just takes over. I was in the living room sitting on the couch just now when all of the sudden a big wasp flies in my freaking face! I start screaming like someone is murdering me, and Russell comes running. He was a but pissed that I was screaming like that over a bee. It's not all bees I'm scared of...just of ones with stingers that can get you over and over again. I can kill those fat ones that eat your wood with the best of them. In fact, I hold the record in this household for most killed with a flyswatter. I will reign again this year! But I see a wasp, and I just lose it. I just read that the queen wasps are the only ones out right now (early spring) to make their nests and lay eggs, so I'm hoping that wasp will be the only one I see for a while. Now I'm scared as shit to go back in the living room, and Rusty won't go check the windows. :(

Why can't I be normal? Why can't there be no wasps? Why can't that stupid stove vent be sealed?!